(Yet another unmarketable talent...)
Yield to temptation! It may not pass your way again!!
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long
Y'know, i've been wondering how being dead is a tax advantage.
Yo babe! You! Me! Champagne! Trifle! Capish?
Yogi Bear: meditating in the nude.
Yo'momma like a Christmas tree: Everybody hangs balls on her.
You agree? You may not be right, but I admire your astuteness!
You always find something in the last place you look.
You and me...both smoke free...ain't it a wonderful way to be?? ;*)
You are a completely unique individual, just like everybody else.
You are a lunatic. Go away. Pester someone else.
You are always welcome in my territory at your own risk.
"You are a meathead!" - Archie Bunker
You are an insult to free speech.
You are assuming I learned and remembered. Dream on, old friend.
You are being watched. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
You are more likely to be attacked by a cow than a shark.
You are never too old to learn something useless.
You are no longer a tresspasser. You are now a target.
You are not beaten until you give up.
You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
You are not only what you eat, but what you eat eats.
You are right, sir. I do tend to babble.
You are sick and twisted...I like that in a person...<G>
You are standing in the way of my plan for total world domination.
You are still half-savage - but there is hope.
You are the winner of one of these prizes.
You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid.
You are wrong. There are more ways. There are always more ways.
"You bake biscuits just like my mother." (Mom's biscuits sucked.)
You become the person you want to be.
You brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.
You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
You can always find what you're NOT looking for.
You can always soak it in sulfuric acid to kill the bacteria. [smirk]
You can beat my meat, but you can't lick my sauce! -Boss' Ribs, Oregon
You can become rich and still be an idiot.
You can build a throne of bayonets but you can't sit on it for long.
You can call me Hal, or you can call me Pal, or you...
"You can deficit-spend on sleep, but the interest charges are murder."
You can disagree without being disagreeable.
You can do anything thou wilt at Aleister's Restaurant.
You can double your money! ... here's how: fold it in half!
You can fool some of the people all the time..etc.etc. - but not us!
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant (exceptin' Alice..)
You can get dressed now; the doctor has had enough laughs.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
You *can* go home again. Just type "cd ~".
You can have a lot of fun with a bushel of apples & a Dr.'s wife!
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. Oprah Winfrey
You can have it right or you can have it right now.
You can help wipe out Cobol in our lifetime.
You can hold many degrees and still be an idiot.
You can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
You can lead a man to Congress but you can't make him think! ;*)
You can lead a rock to water, but you can't make it float.
You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot get ahead while you are getting even!
You cannot slander human nature; it is worse than words can paint it!
You cannot spoil a bad egg.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot use your friends and have them too.
You can now buy fish seeds at garden centers? Wow! Who knew?
You can only be truly free if everyone else is truly free as well.
You can pick your friends, but not your relatives.
You can pretend to be serious, you cannot pretend to be witty.
You can put pickles up yourself.
You can send me to college, but you can't make me think.
You can share your beer with your friends.
You can take a day off. But, you can't put it back.
You can't argue with a sick mind!
You can't ban me, you no good...>%+++h+nAC* NO CARRIER
You can't BBQ in New York; you'd have to keep vacuuming the meat. - Rhoda
You can't beat untangling worms for quiet but absorbin' work.
You can't be Batman to all the Robins of the world.
You can't be overbooked.... only under-read!
You can't bring unregistered shareware into heaven.
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue with their actions.
You can't direct the wind. But, you can adjust your sails!
You can't do everything at once. But, you can do SOMETHING right away!
You can't fool me...there ain't no sanity clause.
You can't force it to rain by waxing your car.
You can't get there from here.
You can't handle the truth!
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
You can thaw a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer but I wouldn't.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
You can't intimidate milk, it just isn't possible.
You can't keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you are still in hell.
You can't list hound dogs as dependants on your tax forms.
You can't make a piano out of a bacon box. -Irish proverb
You can't park in handicapped spaces based on your SAT score.
You can't push yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
You can't save money for a rainy day when you blow it in on a wet night.
You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.
You can't teach old dogs new tricks.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
You can't unsay a cruel or unkind word.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
You can turn ANY conversation into one about sex!
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
You can't win, you can't break even, either.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want flies.
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
You could be playing a video game instead.
You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel.
You deserve a handjob from Edward Scissorhands.
You didn't know this was a "state your goofy beliefs forum?"
You disagree? May I plead guilty by reason of sanity?
You do like stating the bleeding obvious, don't you?
You don't actually believe that do you? Don't be a cretin.
You don't buy beer, you only rent it.
You don't describe it or discuss it or explain it. You just FEEL it.
You don't *go* to Denny's, you *end up* there.
You don't have to be a cannibal to get fed up with people.
You don't have to give into temptation *every* time.
You don't need to be a cannibal to be fed up with people.
You don't need to be injured to sue.
You don't see as many Spam desserts in other forums.
You don't want to know What they put in that tin can. It's scary.
You do the dishes and a month later you have to start all over again.
You'd think we'd have reached saturation by now.
You ever had a dream about beef jerky?
You face the wrath of the sworn Protectors of the Purity of Chili!
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
You find foreigners everywhere in Europe!
You folks just won't grow up.
You folks telling me that intolerance is a Traditional Family Value?
You formatted what?!?!?!?!!!!.
You get 6 free steak knives with every recipe.
You go and love your brother. I'll go and love your sister.
You got any meat? (pulling out 2 loaves of bread)
You go to see your friends, not the lodges they live in...
You gotta have big balls to play CFL football.
You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem.
You have 2 choices for dinner. Take it or leave it. Bon appetit!
You have 60 mins a day, BUT you cannot d/l unless you...
You have a brilliant grasp of human nature. - Dogbert
You HAVE been away for a while, haven't you?
You have been changed. Enjoy your reconfigured brain. Mwwaaa hahahaha.
You have dialed an imaginary number. Rotate your phone 90 degrees
You have made me very angry - very angry indeed!
You have many friends and very few living enemies.
You have my email address if you want to fail to change my POV.
You have no idea how difficult this is with fins, mask, and a snorkel! ;*)
You haven't had enough coffee unless you can thread a sewing machine while it is running.
You have reached day 3,156 of your 30 day free trial...
You have the ability to arouse various emotions in me.
You have the intellectual capacity of a dirty potato.
"You have to eat. It's good. It tastes like...It's good." "It smells like crotch."
You hit the nail right between the eyes!
You just can't keep that guy away from the farm animals.
You just know.
You! Kidney failure! -Death
You know, booze IS your best drug value.
You know, I really missed @FN@!
You know, it's all very sweet, stealing from the rich, selling to the poor... You know, just like real life.
You know summer is here when the chair you sit in gets up when you do.
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes?
You know. That old guy who carried moderation to excess.
You know what burns my butt? A flame about yay-high!
You know what chicks really dig? Chocolate!
You know... you can only do so much with ONE LINE! :)
You know you're getting older, when Happy Hour is a nap!
You know you're in YK when: police tell a robber to freeze, and he does.
You know you're in YK when: the snowman begs you to take him inside at night. You know you're in YK when: you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
You know you're in YK when: you have to break your dog loose from the tree.
You know you're in YK when: you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
You know you're in YK when: you light a candle and the flame freezes.
You know you're really old when you stop buying green bananas.
You know you've landed gear up when it takes full power to taxi.
You licked a toad? Man you are one sick dude...
You like your chili with or without crushed Oreos? <Riggs>
You live and learn, or you don't live long - Lazarus Long
You'll always be my best friend, you know too much.
You'll feel better when you drink peppermint tea and take a hot bath.
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.
You'll show those gul-dang tofu-suckin' beef-hatin' vegans.
You look like shit. Is that the style now?
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You may be disappointed if you fail. You are doomed if you don't try!!
You may be redneck if people ask permission to hunt in the front yard.
You may be redneck if you get into a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You may be redneck if your best suit includes an orange hunting vest.
You may never know who's right but you always know who is in charge!
You mean capsaicin ISN'T a food group?
You mean there are BBS's that AREN'T run by drunks?
You mean you need drugs to hallucinate?
You might think there's an explanation for this. And you would be wrong.
You multitask?? I'm writing this on the toilet!
YOU MUS' RESPECT MAH AUTH-THOR-IT-TAY!
You must be demon possessed, like so many aolers are.
You must be twins...No one single person can be that stupid!
You must have a much different image of Canada.
You must love lard sandwiches.
You must own at least 2 cows before you can wear cowboy boots in public.
You need to be at least 10% smarter than the equipment.
You never know until you try.
You never know when the Typo Fairy will stike.
You never know where a country road is going to lead.
You never know which side of the bread to butter until you drop it.
You never know who's right, but you always know who's in charge.
You never really learn to cuss until you learn to drive....
Young at heart; slightly older in other places
Young at heart... slightly older in other places.
Young at heart (Slightly older in other places).
Young flesh and old wine are best.
Young men exaggerate; Old men pretend.
You non-conformists are all alike.
You only become wise by noticing what happens when you aren't!.
You only get out of life what you experience.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself you fascist!
You owe "Bob" a living.
You own stock in a bonefree chicken breast farm or somethin'?
You own stock in a toxic food additive factory or somethin'?
"You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?"
You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.
You probably speak French as a second language, you communist.
You probably watch Startrek too huh?
You rarely observe a mob rushing across town to do a good deed.
Your body must be screaming out for balanced whole nutrients.
Your call will be ignored in the order it was received.
You're a better man than I, Rin Tin Tin.
You're a chef. I recognize the traditional accoutrements.
You're a licensed cleavage inspector?
You're all insane and trying to steal my Magic Bag!
You're an argument for retro-active birth control.
You're a Redneck if: You're entertained by a 6-pack
You're beauty and the beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack.
You're being disingenuous again.
You're better off not knowing how sausages & laws are made.
You're dead, this is the afterlife and I'm God!
You're fat when you lay on the beach and someone calls Greenpeace.
You're growing old when your knees buckle & your belt won't.
You're in a maze of twisty echo conferences, all alike.
You're jealous because the voices talk to me and not to you.
You're just being nice because you want my chocolate! ;*)
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
You're Never Alone With Schizophrenia.
You're never to old to learn new ways to act silly..
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
You're not lost if ya don't care where you are!
You're not making any sense; is it time for your medication or mine?
You're not paranoid if they're really after you...
You're not paranoid. They're not out to get you. I am.
You're not really married until you have kids.
You're not Uncle Dirty Dave; you're just Moderately Off-Color.
You're old when the gleam in your eye is the sun hitting your bifocals.
You're only as old as you feel...get a young wife
You're only as old as you feel...pinch a teenager ;*)
You're only young once. After that you need another excuse.
You're on the information super highway - pavement ends here.
You're planning on taking us back into the belly of this beast?
You're probably a morbidly-obese virgin in a basement.
You're probably a morbid virgin, but that is beside the point.
You're safe. The baggage handlers already have 3 cell-phones each.
You're scary. Why are you so "Out There"? Take a deep breath.
You're sick, sick, sick. How can you continue to write such drivel?
You're so brave to expose all those popsicle toes.
You're so dense you couldn'd get a job at WAL-MART!
You're special. And I mean "special" in the Olympic sense.
You're surely headed for Pun Hell.
You're thieves! Nah, We're just gypsies & tramps.
You're twisted & sick,@FN@, I like that in a person!
Your ex just called. She's with Revenue Canada now.
Your fifteen minutes are up.
Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
Your last gessage was mighly harbled.
Your life, as it has been, is over.
Your life is a monument to stupidity.
Your life is on your own shoulders. Blind faith is not healthy.<HH>
Your life is what your thoughts make it.
Your lithium drip has fallen out, you need to remedicate.
Your logic is flawed, evacuate your premises immediately.
Your majesty! The pedants are revolting!
Your Mama don't dance and your Daddy don't Rock & Roll.
Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. - B.Gates Your motherboard wears combat reboots....
Your mother was a hamster & your father smelt of elderberries.
Your neighbor ever asked to borrow a quart of beer?
Your never too old to learn something stupid.
Your order for snow was delivered to MY house. Come get it NOW!!
Your post is noise, you suck, and you are killfiled. *PLONK*
Your reasoning is excellent. It's your basic assumptions that are wrong.
Your recipe hunting license has expired. Lose 2 packets.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
Your smile is the most important thing you wear.
Your tagline hunting license has expired. Fine: 2 packets.
Your thoughts, they're primal, savage. I like that in a woman!
Your wife is - face it - a woman.
You said a mouseful!
You say I'm a bastard like it's a bad thing.
You say money can't make me happy? Prove it to me.
You say potato, I say potato. Somehow, that doesn't work in e-mail.
You seem vaguely mammalian. Wanna go out with me.
You send 'em to school...they eat the books.
You shall know the truth, and it shall make you freak.
You shall know the truth, and it shall make you odd.
You should avoid hedging, at least that's what I think.
You should go to a pear tree for pears, not to an elm. - Publilius Syrus
You shouldn't have had bacon for breakfast, you cannibal.
You should whine and hire a lawyer and demand huge sums of cash.
You snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!!!
You state the facts of the matter as accurately as my cat plays piano.
YOU! Stop being a fucking douchebag!
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth.
You talk as if Greenpeacers were a bad thing. They're pure protein.
You talkin' to me?
"You taste like burger. I don't like you anymore." - Andy
You taste like chili peppers... - Joel Robinson
Youth always confuses invention with discovery. Uncle Dirty Dave - 1972
You think paying an expert is expensive? Try an amateur!
you think you HaVe pRoBleMs| muRPHy LiveS WiTH Me|
Youth is about sex, drugs, pizza, and more sex. - Nikki Sixx
Youth is a gift of nature...Middle age is a work of art!
You threw out my WHAT?
Youth would be more interesting if it came later in life!!!
You too can make big money in the exciting field of paper shuffling!
You underestimate the power of BLUE.
You unfortunate fellow You are raving.
You used to have money in the bank. Now You have a BBS.
You've been searching for the hidden microphones again, haven't you?
You want a cite? I cite myself!
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling? - Michelangelo, 1566
You WHAT?! You told my wife I said I was in total control.
You will get a fair trial, after which you will be shot.
You will just know... Neekha
You will lower your shields.
You will never "have it all together."
You will now answer the charge of being a grievously savage race.
You win a collection of ugly ASCII art for use in dumb sig lines.
You win a DVD of Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies: XXX Version.
You won first prize! Send me $50 S&H, and I'll send your prize!
You won topic-lotto!! you get to pick today's topic!! have fun!!
You wouldn't let it lie.
You write? What a coincidence, I read.
Yuppies really bite me right where I'm tender. You know? - Carlin
"Zalig Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieukjaar." - Dutch
"Zalig Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieukjaar." - Dutch Christmas
Zapped or gassed or put to sleep, at least he won't make one more peep. ZAPPPP......Gee, coulda sworn it was set to STUN!!
ZAPPPP...<Sizzle>...<THUD>
ZAP! Process discontinued. Enter any 12-digit prime number to resume.
Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.
Zebra: a sports model jackass.
Zen and the Art of Echo Mail: Be the message...
Zen Buddhist Pizza: "Make me one with everything!"
Zencrafters - enlightenment in about an hour.
Zen Druidry: transcendental vegetation.
Zen football: A long pass out of the I formation.
Zen is like looking for the spectacles that are sitting on your nose.
Zen is simply a voice crying, "Wake up! Wake up!"
Zen Master to hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."
Zen Math - 2+2 just is.
Zenocide: the killing of ancient philosophers.
Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.
Zen T-shirt: Enlightenment Available - Inquire Within.
Ziggy says there's a 98.7% chance you're here to steal taglines.
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go well.
Zingers? ... Hardly! The items were quite humorous.
Zip-a-de-do-dah, zip-a-de-day, PKWare screwed up today.
ZIP me! PAK me! Make me compress my bits! ARJ!
ZIPPEDTAGLINE.
ZMODEM: Big Bits, Soft blocks, Tighter ASCII.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
Zmodem Pizza DownLoad: Slices DownLoaded: 02 Slices Remaining: 04.
Zo! Lie here and tell me about your mother, Herr Heinlein!
Zombie hookers with herpes!
Zombie on the team, you gotta play him in right field.
Zombies eat brains. Don't worry, though. You are safe.
Zombies on Loose! Wanted - Dead or Alive! ... Details at 10.
ZOO(n):what college dorms could look like if cleaner.
Zoophiles see the entire animal kingdom as potential dates!
"Zorionstsu Eguberri. Zoriontsu Berri Urte." - Basque
Zoroastrism: the belief that God is actually a masked Mexican.
Zo true, mein freund, but ve haff our vays. Heh Heh.
Zucchini: Dense, flavorless vegetable useful as ballast.
Zucchini: God's way of saying "You don't work in your garden enough."
Zucchini is not edible. Shouldn't be considered food.
Zucchini is NOT the name of a circus trapeze act!
Zucchini is NOT the name of a Mob family!
Zucchini is NOT the name of an ice-smoothing machine!
Zucchini is NOT the name of an Italian auotmatic weapon!
Zucchini is NOT the name of a revealing swimsuit!
Zucchini sci-fi movie: "Garden Wars" with Zuke Skywalker.
Zygotes are a gamete's way of producing more gametes.
ZYX WVUTS RQ PONML KJIH GFED CBA is how I say MY ABC's. Ed Vance
Zzzzz ... This Tagline is taking a nap ... zzzzz
ZZzzzzz...SNORT..Huh?..Whew!, Thank GOD I was only dreaming...
1+2=3. Therefore 4+5=6.
1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
1st Myth of Moderation: It's not needed. 2nd Myth: It's needed.
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5 for sufficiently large values of 2.
2 game wardens, 7 hunters, and a cow.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
3 certainties: Death, taxes & lost data. Guess which has occurred?
3 days of testing can save 10 minutes reading manuals.
3 dits, 4 dits, 2 dits, dash. Navy serves it; calls it hash.
3. Don't knock it 'til you try it.
3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
3 Types of mini skirts: Mini, Micro, and you need a bikini wax.
3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
4 AM? Already? Oh no, not again!!
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
4 of 5 Moderators prefer donuts; one prefers beer...but he's strange.
4 out of 10 analysts say I'm insane. But that's NOT a majority!
5. Always use "we" when referring to your home team or your government.
5 disks in the drive? It said *Insert next disk* !!
5 or 6 days after eating Italian food - I'm hungry again!
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7/11, if you're not robbin' us, we're robbin' you.
7. DON'T underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
8-bit machine: A computer selling for $1.00 (see bit)
8. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
9. Don't dumb it down.
10 kinds of people: Those who can count; those who can't.
10 people to a car or a home is considered too many.
10 PRINT "Waiter, there's a bug in my LOOP": GOTO 10
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you're staying more than one night, unpack.
11 long-haired Friends of Jesus in a chartreuse micro-bus.
12 Hours Of Work!! What Do You Mean Disk Error??
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13 at the table is only dangerous when there is just enough for 12.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
15 minutes into a Jerry Lewis telethon I start rooting for the disease.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
16-bit machine: A computer selling for $2.00 (see bit)
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
18 out of 10 schizophrenics agree.
19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it's only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don't linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you're with new friends, don't just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It's never too late for an apology.
34. Don't pose with booze.
35. If you have right of way. TAKE IT.
35 years later, I'm STILL Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, ...
36. You don't get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
40. It's not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.
41. Don't make a scene.
42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in great luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday, It's her special day too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take Blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
50 years ago we finished work & needed rest. Today we need exercise.
51% Angel ..... 49% devil...... So don't push it!
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don't stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You'll only have to do it once.
55. If you've made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you're wrong.
57. If you offer to help don't quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don't boo. Even the ref is somebody's son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
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