• [AUTOPOST] Taglines 19 of 25 (max 500 lines per post)

    From Mark Lewis@1:2320/100 to All on Sat Jul 16 12:45:12 2016
    That's what aliens are, they do alien things that are alien!
    that was like a defective egg.......rotten yolk ;*)
    That wasn't a bit nice.
    That was Zen, this is Tao.
    That well-known purveyor of fine wines, Wal-Mart. [snork] [snork]
    That which doesn't kill me had better run darn fast!
    That won't work to-day! Do it yesterday, or to-morrow!
    The 4 best anti-depressants: Money, Sex, Chocolate and Raquel Welch.
    The 4 food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits.
    The 4 foods groups: cheese, wine, olives and sausage.
    The 4 seasons: salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
    The ability to understand a question from all sides meant one was totally unfit

    for action.
    The Aboriginal definition of "fast food" would be "kangaroo".
    The above opinions are those of my computer!
    The absent are always to blame.
    The act of an extreme obnoxious moron psychosis deranged neurotic.
    The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
    The Adventures Of WIN.INI The Pooh By W. Gates.
    The Amish nympho had two Mennonite.
    The answer is.... 42.
    The Ants are my friends; they're blowing in the wind.
    The arctic is not hostile to people, only indifferent to them.
    The argument you just won with your spouse isn't over yet.
    The Argus family of mailers is pure ART (Argus, Radius, Taurus).
    The Army is like the Boy Scouts without adult supervision.
    The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
    The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
    The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.
    The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
    The average person thinks he isn't.
    The Barbie Dream House: she lives better than I do!
    The Bare Facts About Nevada Agriculture.
    The basis all recent law is that the average citizen is half-witted.
    The BBC would like to apologize for that last apology.
    The Beast of Both Worlds.
    The beast will shyly retreat if you point to its genitals and snicker.
    the Beatles said it best, Obla-Dee, Obla-Daa, Life Goes On...
    The believer is happy; the doubter is wise. - Hungarian proverb
    The believing mind is externally impervious to evidence.
    The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.
    The best Chinese food in Seattle is found in Vancouver.
    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
    The best cure for violence is mega violence.
    The best defence against logic is ignorance.
    The best kind of cat toy has a person on one end
    The Best Of Holiday Greetings And Wishes To You All...
    The best part of the cow is the pork chops
    The best sermons are lived, not preached.
    The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
    The best thing about the good old days is that they're gone.
    The best thing a family can do together is not watch TV.
    The best things in life are free but the options really run up the bill.
    The best things in life aren't things.
    The best time to relax is when you don't have time to relax...
    The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breastplate open!
    The best way to be remembered by people is to owe them money.
    The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
    The best way to get praise is to die. -Italian proverb
    The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
    The best way to solve problems is not to make them.
    The Big Bang is only the universe rebooting.
    The big, bronzed, skin-cancered Aussies.
    The bigger the amount you steal, the lighter your sentence when caught.
    The bigger the drive, the more junk collected.
    The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
    The bigger the theory, the better.
    The biscuits and the syrup never come out even.
    The blonde burned her nose bobbing for french fries.
    The bonds of matrimony are a good investment if the interest is kept up.
    The brain is an organ with which we think we think.
    The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition.
    The brook would lose its song if the rocks were removed.
    The buck doesn't even slow down here!
    The buck starts here.
    The buck stops at the desk over there.
    The Buck stops here, the Doe just visits..
    The Buck stops here, the Dough just visits..
    The bug-addled spyware-riddled nightmare that is Windows.
    The bumper sticker is America's book of proverbs.
    The cannibals threw a reception, toasted the bride & barbecued the groom.
    The Captain and Crew run a ship, NOT the passengers.
    The cat who isn't finicky soon loses control of her owner.
    The chain developers, how wrong they are.
    The chain developers, they think we want mindless redundant comfort.
    The chipotle chocolate cheesecake was a lofty experiment.
    The circus must be in town. Look at all these clowns.
    The CLOCK$ stops here.
    The closest I can come to a brainstorm is a drizzle.
    The coca-cola mentality is a national cancer.
    The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
    The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
    The computer made me do it; HONEST!
    The cookbook says to roast my turkey but my oven only has bake & broil
    The cost of feathers has risen...now even DOWN is up!
    The cost of living has gone up a $ a bottle.
    The cure for admiring the government is to look at it.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
    The cyclops never saw double.
    The day I stop flirting, you'll read about it in the obituaries.
    The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
    The Defense Department seems to be a very lucrative business.
    The demons of the capitalist pantheon will market you to death.
    The desert is not hostile to people, only indifferent to them.
    The devil can quote statistics to prove his purpose. Sam'l Clemens
    The Devil is most devilish when respectable.
    The Devil made me do it, and I wanna do it again!
    The Devil made me do it; I'm not really like that!
    The difference between a rebel and a patriot depends on who is in power.
    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.
    The difference between haste and waste are the leading letters.
    The difference between spoiled milk & yogurt? Marketing!
    The difference between the impossible and the possible is determination.
    The dog ate my .REP packet.
    The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage. - Danish Proverb
    The dog that trots about finds more bones.
    The dough always stops over there.
    The dough NEVER stops here.
    The dough stops here.
    The drifts are ten feet high and the chiles will not grow.
    The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
    The Dumb Luck Rule: You can always hit what you don't aim at.
    The early bird gets the coffee left over from the night before.
    The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
    The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
    The earth is like a tiny grain of sand; only much, much heavier.
    The earth? Oh, the earth will be gone in just a few seconds.
    The easy way is always mined.
    The elderly are libraries of knowledge. Listen carefully!
    The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
    The emptier the pot, the quicker it boils.
    THE END IS NIGH! Repent and return those library books!
    The exception also declares the rule
    The existence of the platypus is evidence of God doing drugs.
    The fabric of space-time continuum isn't merely curved, it's bent.
    The FACTS keep interfering with my theories.
    The fact that it works is immaterial.
    The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    The farmer couldn't keep his hands off his wife so he fired them!
    The FDA is investigating this, and they think it's tofu.
    the Fido-terminator... I'LL MAIL BACK !!
    The first fall hurts. The others harden.
    The first myth of management is that it exists.
    The first rule of air combat is to see the other guy first.
    The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging!
    The first step binds one to the second. -French Proverb
    The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.
    The first ten million years were the worst.
    The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
    The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is safest on the flyswatter.
    "The food here is terrible." "And such small portions, too!"
    The four food groups: coffee, ice cream, beer and pizza.
    The four horsemen ride again and this time they're pissed.
    The four northern seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, and Hunting.
    The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    The four seasons: onions, celery, bell pepper, and garlic.
    The French actually *eat* the horrid things.
    The French are wonderful. They're so, so...FRENCH.
    The French defence isn't.
    The French form of government is democratic but noisy.
    The French have always been there when they needed us.
    The French take care of themselves - except in wartime.
    The fried balogna sandwich is the state dish of West Virginia.
    "The friendship that can cease has never been real." - St. Jerome #T#H#E#F#T##R#E#S#I#S#T#A#N#T##T#A#G#L#I#N#E#!#########
    The further backward you can look the further forward you can see.
    The Future: 1000s of little old ladies running around with tattoos.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
    The future is all in your head.
    The future of "I give" is "I take."
    The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!
    The future's uncertain and the end is always near...
    The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
    The ghost in my machine is responsible for the typos.
    The girls all get prettier at closing time.
    The girl who stoops to conquer usually wears a low-cut dress.
    The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
    The golden years are when actions creak louder than words.
    The good life only starts when you stop wanting a better one.
    The good old days when men were men and women were ribs.
    The Gourmet Club will sample exotic mushrooms at its final banquet.
    The govamint keeps ya poor!
    The government is a much bigger threat than any militia.
    The grass next door may be greener. But, it's just as hard to weed.
    The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
    The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
    The greatest demands are often made by those who contribute the least.
    The greatest weakness of all is a fear of appearing weak.
    The great secret of life is to learn lessons... not teach them!!!
    The great truths are too important to be new. - Somerset Maugham
    The hand that gives, gathers. -English proverb
    The hardback you just paid $29 for will be out in paper tomorrow at $7.
    The harder you press the keys, the brighter the letters.
    The hardest dollar to earn is the one you have already spent.
    The hardest job in the world is finding an easier one.
    The hardest work is to go idle. -Yiddish Proverb
    The hardest years are between 10 and 70.
    The highest point in Penn. is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
    The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
    The human animal is an unfathomable creature.
    The human body is 86 percent water, 14 percent macaroni & cheese.
    The human race has managed to improve everything but the human race.
    The human race is old enough to know better!
    The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.
    The hundred billionth crayon made by Crayola was Perriwinkle Blue.
    The illegal smuggling of mimes... no one talks about it.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning." -Albert Einstein
    The impossible is often the untried.
    The ingenuity of our devices obscures their triviality of purpose.
    The ingredient list won a Russian prize for literature.
    The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
    The Inquisition always proceeds along a predictable path.
    The internet is a great way to get on the net.
    The Internet is boring. Where can I get the expansion pack?
    The John McCain of 2000 wouldn't vote for the Johm McCain of today.
    The jungle is not hostile to people, only indifferent to them.
    The key to success is, of course, planning, by which I mean.... money.
    The Kraft Report: "first thing we do; fire all the safety inspectors.
    The lab called; your brain's ready.
    The landscape belongs to the person who looks at it.
    The Largest and the BIGGEST street gang in the World ...L.A.P.D.
    The last sound that it made was "Zap" .
    The last thing I remember is mixing Mescale and catnip.
    The last thing I remember is mixing Tequila and catnip.
    The late 50s and booze is there!
    The law requires a six foot high fence around my chile garden.
    The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
    The less one has to do the less time one finds to do it in.
    The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will be. The liberal whiner can find the gray cloud in every silver lining.
    The life you have lead does not have to be the only one you have.
    The Light at the End of the Tunnel may be a flamethrower.
    The light of a star takes so long to reach us that we only see thier old photographs.
    The local diner doesn't give out doggie bags. The SPCA won't let 'em.
    The Lord gives wisdom; out of his mouth comes knowledge. . . Prov 2:6
    The Lord to John: "Come forth & receive eternal life." John got a toaster for 5th.
    The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
    The Mafia killed Einstein.... he knew too much.
    The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT...
    The main export of the Philippines is Filipinos.
    Them ain't oil leaks on that Harley. It's automatic rust prevention!
    Them ain't oil leaks, son! That Harley is just marking its territory!
    The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.
    The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.
    The Man Who Ate Everything.
    The man who dies with the most toys is dead.
    The man who invented spaghetti really used his noodle.
    The Mars Rover is actually scouting for a WalMart Superstore site.
    Them as don't do politics will be done by politics. - French proverb
    The masses are asses. - Alexander Hamilton
    The McDonald's/plastic cheese mentality is a national cancer.
    The meat odor flows heavenward and God's stomach rumbles.
    The Meek shall inherit the leftovers!.
    The men with the butterfly nets are there to help you.
    The metallic years - silver hair, gold teeth, lead bottom.
    The mice may have the right but the cat has the claws.
    The middle class will inherit the earth, for they paid for it.
    The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste - Then why am I here?
    The minute you settle for less than you deserve you get even less.
    The mission of the military is to kill people and break things.
    The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
    The moat is off-limits to swimming, except to IRS agents
    The moderator is a stupid, idiotic, good for no#@^%$@&#%# <NO CARRIER&g
    The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to.
    The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards!
    "The more RAM you have, the better", M. Chambers
    "The more RAM you have, the better", MRim Tech Support.
    The more unpredictable the world is the more we rely on predictions!
    The more you exercise, the more you exercise.
    "The more you explain it, the less I understand it." Mark Twain
    The more you have, the more you spill.
    The more you say, the less people remember.
    The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
    The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.
    The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.
    The mosquitos here are so big they rape the ducks!
    The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth.
    The most efficient labor-saving device is still money.
    The most important thing about communicating is hearing what isn't said.
    The most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.
    The most treasured antique is an old friend!
    Them that has, gets.
    The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.
    Them was the days. When men was men. And smelled like horses.
    The narrower the mind, the broader the statement.
    The Native American definition of "fast food" would be "jackrabbit."
    The NBA's best announcers double as a warm hearty meal.
    The Net is an isolating beast and television is a slow poison.
    The newly rich have more comforts; the newly poor have better manners.
    The new non-violent Star Trek- "Set phasers on tickle!"
    The next tagline is recommended for mature readers only.
    The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.
    The NFL is suing the CFL 'cause they use yards too...
    The night has a thousand eyes... and five hundred badges!
    The North has dating services. The South has family reunions.
    The North has green salads. The South has collard greens.
    Then, quite suddenly, and all at once, nothing happened.
    Then she gave me a Vegemite sandwich and I dropped dead.
    The number you have dialed, nine-one-one, has been changed.
    The obesity lawsuit against McDonald's was dismissed as fatuous.
    The object of oratory is persuasion, not truth.
    The OFFICIAL tagline of the 1996 Olympics!
    The older I get the better I used to be.
    The older I get, the better I used to be.
    The one question you've always wanted clarified. What did she say?
    The one thing children wear out faster than their shoes is parents.
    The one who dies with the most toys wins.
    The one who snores will fall asleep first.
    The only flies that are popular are at the end of a fishing line.
    The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for. - R. Stevens
    The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.
    The only problem with infinity is that it won't fit my ta...
    The only rose without thorns is friendship.
    The only school with no dropouts is the school of experience.
    The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
    The only thing ever lost by politeness is a seat on a crowded bus.
    The only thing faster than the speed of light is word of mouth.
    The only thing worse than being late is being early.
    The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
    The only way round is through. - Robert Frost
    The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman - Randy Milholland
    The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
    The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
    The only way to have a friend is to be one. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
    The Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
    The OS I'm most familiar with is - Baroque
    The other day I jogged backward and put on eight pounds.
    The other four seasons: Snow, Mud, Dust and Leaves.
    The oxen are slow, but the Earth is patient.
    The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.
    The parts of speech are lungs and air.
    The passive voice is to be avoided.
    The past is a springboard, not a hammock
    The penalty for bigamy is 2 mothers-in-law.
    The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
    The perfect guest is the one who makes his host feel at home.
    The perfect woman: A nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store.
    The person jumping to conclusions will usually scare the best ones away.
    The person whose birthday you forget invariably remembers yours.
    The person with a closed mind should keep his mouth shut, as well!
    The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.
    The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.
    The pornography of meat.
    The possession of knowledge is the key to many doors...
    The power of imagination makes us infinite....
    The power of love is a curious thing.
    The power of the pod.
    The power to tax is the power to destroy.
    The price of purity is purists.
    The privilege of fools is to laugh at persons of sense!
    The probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not zero.
    The problem is that children last so much longer than marriages.
    The problem with any unwritten law is you don't know how to erase it.
    The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
    The Professor discovered her earthquake theory was on shaky ground!
    The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
    The PS/2 Model 30-286 was designed on a Monday.
    The pure and simple truth is rarely pure or simple.
    The pursuit of truth will set you free. Even if you never catch it.
    The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
    The quest for Chile Enlightenment goes on.
    The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
    The quickest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.
    Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.
    The Rat Race...win or lose, your still a rat!
    The Reality Show cancer continues to metastasize.
    The real world is no place for artists.
    There are 10,000 unwanted pets in YK. Eat a cat today.
    There are 3 types of liars. Liars, damned liars & statisticians.
    There are 40 kinds of lunacy, but only 1 kind of common sense.
    There are absolutely NO calories in champagne. Nope, not a one.
    There are far more ways to get into debt than out of it.
    There are four possible responses none of which satisfies the inquisitor.
    There are many drawbacks to using geese as car horns.
    There are many here among us Who feel that life is but a joke.
    There are more things growing in your refrigerator than in my yard.
    There are no mistakes in the kitchen; just occasional gourmet compost.
    There are no new sins..... the old ones just get more publicity.
    There are no speed limits on the road to excellence.
    There are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
    There are only 3 things you can grow in YK - colder, older and fatter.
    There are some jobs in which it is impossible to be virtuous.
    There are still "incurable romantics".... we need better antibiotics.
    "There are times when no snide comment seems adequate." - Dogbert
    The reason why I work so hard is because I'm too nervous to steal.
    There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
    there can only be one way of life, and it works :)
    The Recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a 'pound'.
    There does not seem to be a whole lot of straight vegan males.
    There exist thoughts that are unthinkable.
    There has never been a great spirit without a touch of insanity.
    There have been a few explosions because of the lemon beer...
    There is a conspiracy between gravity and a waxed ski.
    There is a correlation between the creative and the screwball.
    There is a fine line between tacky and cool and I have crossed it.
    There is a French Foreign Legion because the French won't join.
    There is always free cheese in a mouse trap.
    There is always hope when people are forced to listen to both sides.
    There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    There is always one more mosquito!
    There is a plot afoot to make me think I'm paranoid!
    There is a superstition in avoiding superstition. - Francis Bacon
    There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
    There is more kicking done with the tongue than with the feet.
    There is no ceiling on effort!!!
    There is no devil, it's just God when he's drunk!
    There is no evidence to support the theory that life is serious.
    There is no failure except in no longer trying.
    There is no God, it's just Satan when he's sober!
    There is no gravity. The earth sucks.
    There is no great genius without some touch of madness.
    There is no hidden message revealed by reading this backwards.
    There is no limit to how bad things can get.
    There is no medicine to cure hatred. -African Proverb
    There is none so blind as he who will not see.
    There is no sin except stupidity.
    There is no such thing as a free lunch.
    There is no such thing as arugula yet many gourmet recipes call for it.
    There is no such thing as fennel yet many gourmet recipes call for it.
    There is no such thing as too many chilies!
    There is no such thing as too much chocolate!
    There is no such thing as too much garlic!
    There is no such things as a free variable.
    There is nothing more respectable than an ancient evil.
    There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept.
    There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.
    There is no underestimating the taste of video gamers.
    There is no use in running if you're not on the right road.
    There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.
    There is safety in numbers: .22 .32 .357 .38 .41 .44 .45
    There is something potent and unique to the energy of this group.
    There is this thing about assuming......
    There may be millions of votes, but I'm Gulliver.
    There may be trial marriages but there are no trial children.
    There MUST be a way to cram more violence into 90 minutes. - Calvin
    There must be some kind of way outta here said the joker to the thief.
    There never was a night or problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.
    There's a dead fly swimming in my soup! Nonsense dead flies can't swim!
    There's a difference between criticism & abuse but most don't know it.
    There's a fine line between psychic and psychotic!
    There's a fine line between sanity and reality.
    There's always one more bug.
    There's an Italian in my house and he won't go away!
    There's a rainbow after every storm.
    There's a sucker born every minute!
    There's a whole generation of people out there who are my age.
    There's been alarming increase in the # of things I know nothing about.
    There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!
    There's gin in my martini? No wonder I'm pissed.
    There's no Betty Rubble in Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.
    There's no FAT in a 0 byte file.
    There's no fool like an old fool - you can't beat experience.
    There's no future in time travel.
    There's no gift like the present.
    There's no such thing as a too-recent backup!
    "There's nothing like a good hard drive", X. Hollander
    There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito!
    There's nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
    There's nothing wrong with MY memory...it must be YOURS!
    There's no tradition like a NEW tradition!
    There's no way I was born to just pay bills and die. -Unknown
    There's no way to be a perfect parent but lots of ways to be a good one. There's only two things wrong with C++: The initial concept and the implementation. -Bertrand Meyer
    There's small choice in rotten apples.
    There's something about the Parisians- they're so very French.
    The restaurants in hell only serve tofu.
    There's that strange noise from the drive again!
    There's too much confusion... I can't get no relief.
    There's too much violence in plays these days. - Abraham Lincoln
    There's veal, there's pork, there's Turkey. But nuthin' beats HAM.
    The reverse side also has a reverse side. -Japanese proverb
    The reward for a good deed is to have done it.
    There was a long silence........... then a slightly shorter silence...
    The rich are happier than we are, and should be.
    The rich get richer, the poor don't matter.
    The rich spend money to save time; the poor spend time to save money.
    The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
    The river speaks. Corn listens. Potatoes merely observe.
    The road to a friend's house is never difficult nor long.
    The road to success is marked with many tempting parking places.
    The road to success is often under construction...
    The same night awaits us all.
    Thesaurus: Ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
    The saxophone is not intended to be used as a percussion instrument.
    The scenes of childhood are the memories of future years.
    The science of today is the technology of tomorrow!
    The scum also rises. - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
    These are my lawyers. My demands are as follows....
    These aren't animals, these are wild quail.
    These are the days of Miracle Whip and Wonder Bread.
    These are the times of big men and small character.
    These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion.
    The second best writing implement in the world is the pen ultimate.
    The secret of DoubleSpace: Randomly loses half your data
    The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
    The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
    The secret's in the sauce.
    The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." -Einstein
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