• [AUTOPOST] Taglines 10 of 25 (max 500 lines per post)

    From Mark Lewis@1:2320/100 to All on Sat Jul 16 12:45:04 2016
    I can't go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me!
    I can't help but feel that the recipe was flawed in some way
    I can't reach the brakes on this piano!
    I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
    I can't remember the last time I had a problem with my memory.
    I can't spell worth a shirt.
    I can't stomach tripe.
    I can't tell if your butt is sweating or crying.
    I can't walk on water, but I can stagger on alcohol.
    I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
    I categorically deny ever having written a word of this.
    ICBM Address: 62'30"N 141'30"W.
    ICE CREAM FORK: the concept of ice cream was not well understood.
    Ice Cream for Windows: _Hoggin' DOS_, From Micro Softee Freeze
    Ice cream tubs that require a forklift for lifting.
    I chose the path less traveled, but only because I was lost.
    I claim this planet in the name of Mars - isn't that lovely?
    I completely agree with your last statement. What was it?
    I completely agree with your last statement. What was it again?
    I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.
    I coulda' had a V8.
    I could be chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause.
    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    I couldn't think of where to start...so I didn't!
    I couldn't wait for success.. so I went ahead without it.
    I cry after sex; Mace will do that to you.
    I cut it three times and it's still too short!
    I'd buy a turnip of my very own, out in the countryside...
    I'd call you a cunt but you lack both depth and warmth.
    Ideas are like children. There are none so wonderful as your own.
    Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them at once.
    I definitely crave a pork product of some kind.
    I demand a recount.
    I deny being in denial.
    I deny this reality. The reality is a computation matrix. - Dr. Who
    I develop... the others just play.
    I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
    I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
    I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on the last one.
    I didn't do it, and I won't do it again.
    I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it and besides, it was an accident.
    I didn't get to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables-Bumper sticker
    I didn't know I liked Calgary until I left. - Junior Thurman.
    I didn't know international smuggling involved so much lifting.
    I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
    I didn't wake up grouchy, I let her sleep.
    I DID read the docs! Honest! Oh, *that* page...
    I did read the docs. That's why I'm confused.
    I diet religiously: I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight.
    I distinctly remember forgetting that.
    I'd kill Flipper for a good tuna sandwich right now!
    I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
    Idleness is only the refuge of weak minds. - Lord Chesterfield
    Idleness is the holiday of fools.
    I'd lift weights, but they're so darn heavy.
    I'd like the steak. Comes with 3 vegetables? Ok, 2 peas and a carrot.
    I'd like to have my life ruined by winning the lottery.
    I'd like to state for the record: I am not a sock puppet of reapern66.
    I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.
    I'd love to but I'm busy working on my cottage cheese sculpture.
    I'd love to, but I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
    I'd love to, but my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
    "I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?" -- Groucho
    I do a lot of research, especially in ladies apartments.
    I *do* have a 32" waist. My fat is there to protect my perfect body ;*)
    I *DO* have a firm grip on reality! Now I can choke the life out of it!
    I _DO_ know everything. I just can't remember most of it.
    I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
    I do not eat raw fish nor do I drink imported well water.
    I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many get elected.
    I don't backup, since nothing has ever gone wrV....
    I don't believe in ethics anymore.
    I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.
    I don't care about eating, I'd rather BE eaten!
    I don't cook brains; my brains are cooked enough already!
    I don't do drugs - Echos are my escape from reality
    I don't do hard liquor... it does me!!!
    I don't do jogging, it makes my beer all foamy.
    I don't do that. Maybe I should. But I don't.
    I don't drink as a rule....just as a habit!
    I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food.
    I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
    I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone
    I don't even put beans and chili together in the same tagline!
    I don't frequent restaurants that feature a mouse menu.
    I don't get even; I stay odd.
    I don't GET headaches, I GIVE them!
    I don't have a license to kill, but I do have a learners permit.
    I don't have a memory, I have a forgettery.
    I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
    I don't have any interests... they're too expensive.
    I don't have a REAL life - I'm a BBS addict!
    I don't have a REAL life - I'm a SysOp!
    I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
    I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
    I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
    I don't have a solution but I really admire the problem.
    I don't have references, I just 'know' - spooky heh!
    I don't have the solution, but I admire the problem.
    I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
    I don't have to eat it to know it's toxic.
    I don't know who you think you're fooling with that.
    "I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?"
    I don't like Chinese food. I think the Peking Duck watches me.
    I don't like that rancid healthy whole wheat taste.
    I don't like violence, but I'm very good at it.
    I don't live in the past - I just visit.
    I don't look for trouble... my friends deliver!
    I don't make bad food.... I make gourmet compost.
    I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
    I don't normally drink and I'm not normally normal.
    I don't normally drink, but I'm not normally normal.
    I don't often test my code, but when I do, I do it in Production.
    I don't own any slaves. My wife has one, though.
    I don't peel asparagus... so far no one has arrested me.
    I don't remember electing you to be project manager.
    I don't Smoke...No Joke! ;*)
    I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    I don't suffer from Insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!
    I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!
    I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
    I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
    I don't want to be literate, I just want to program.
    I do the work of 3 men. Moe, Larry & Curly.
    I doubt, therefore I might be.
    I do whatever my Rice Crispies tell me to do.
    I'd prefer the non-smoking lifeboat, please.
    "I drank what!?!" Socrates
    I'd rather be ramming Green Peace boats.
    I'd rather de-bone an anchovy.
    I'd rather die living than live dying.
    I'd rather have a German division in front than a French one behind me.
    I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
    I'd recommend it, and those that know me know what that's worth.
    I drempt I was a muffler and woke up exhausted!
    I drive fast, drink beer, visit loud nightclubs & eat deep fried food.
    I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
    I eat bitches like you for breakfast.
    I eat my coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it?
    I enjoy every step of food prep, particularly as my wife does it.
    I envy those who drink. At least they have something to blame everything
    I even reformatted it, but I still can't read my file?!
    If a bear is chasing you please don't run this way.
    If abortion is murder, are ultrasounds child pornography?
    If a church wants to teach humility, it ought to learn it first.
    If a country has "Democratic Republic" in its name, it isn't either.
    If all else fails, eat chocolate and enjoy! ;*)
    If all else fails, try chocolate.
    If all the beasts were gone we would die from loneliness of spirit.
    If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
    If a man calls you a horse, he's a fool. If 3 men do, buy a saddle.
    If a man speaks in a forest and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
    If a mime is arrested does he have the right to remain silent?
    If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
    If ants are so busy, how do they make it to all those picnics?
    If anyone has an idea why I do this, keep it to yourself.
    If anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
    If a Pascal program compiles then it will work; "C" programs alway compile
    If a person owns land do they own it all the way to the center earth?
    If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?
    If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
    If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
    I farted in line at WalMart. Three women thought their kid had shit itself.
    If aspirins are always "TAKE TWO" why don't they just increase the size.
    If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
    If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, will it make a sound?
    If at 1st you don't succeed, call it v1.0.
    If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen!
    If at first you don't succeed, cry a lot.
    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you to.
    If at first you don't succeed, *.* & forget it.
    If at first you don't succeed, give up.
    If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
    If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
    If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you...
    If at first you don't succeed, tell her another lie.
    If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
    If at first you don't succeed, try management.
    If at first you don't succeed, you can always emulate me.
    If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of advice.
    If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
    If at first you don't succeed, you're about normal.
    If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
    If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.
    If at first you DO succeed, pretend you know what you're doing.
    If at first you DO SUCCEED, try not to look astonished.
    If at first you doubt, doubt again.
    If at first you fricassee, fry, fry again.
    If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
    If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?
    I favor common sense, making me forever ineligible for public office.
    If a woman won't live forever, why give her a diamond?
    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    If brains were C-4, you couldn't blow your nose!
    If Canada Post went on strike, how would we ever know?
    If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake.
    If chocolate could teach, I would by now be extremely well-educated.
    If Commodore had sold sushi, they'd have called it, "cold, dead, fish."
    If confusion was consumption, you'd be consumed.
    If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
    If cows eat grass, can you get high on milk?
    If cows have horns, why do they moo instead of honk?
    If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
    If dandelions were hard to grow they would be welcome on most any lawn.
    IF dazzle<>'brilliance' THEN;SET baffle='bullshit';END
    I feel a random act of violence coming on...
    I feel like a mushroom; I'm kept in the dark and feed BS all day!
    I feel lucky to be alive today and so do the people I BBQ'd for!
    I feel more like I do now than I did before I started.
    I feel more like I do now than when I arrived.
    I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they give me.
    If envy were a disease everyone would be sick.
    If everyone lived forever, where would we all park?
    If every one thought before they spoke the silence would be deafening...
    If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    If everything seems to be going well, you have overlooked something.
    If evolution were true, bread wouldn't have crusts.
    If Fortune calls, offer him a seat. - Jewish Proverb
    If French cooking is so easy, why the 1678 page cook book?
    If George W. Bush was anymore retarded, he'd be on death row in Texas.
    If girls are all sugar and spice, why do they taste like anchovies?
    If God didn't make homosexuals, there wouldn't be any.
    If God didn't want man to hunt He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.
    If God forbade drinking, why would He have made wine taste so good?
    If God had intended us to vote, he would have given us good candidates.
    If God had meant us to eat veggies He would have given us 4 stomachs.
    If God had meant us to see the sunrise He would have scheduled it later.
    If God intended us to touch our toes He'd have put them on our knees.
    If God is love, and love is blind...does that make Ray Charles God?!?
    If God is omnipotent, why does he need my money?
    If God meant me to be thin, he wouldn't have invented potato chips.
    If God revealed himself today he'd have to show at least 2 forms of ID.
    If God wanted us to be thin, food wouldn't taste so good.
    IF gray_matter IS NULL THEN; GOTO dBASE; ENDI
    If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
    If hackers ran the world there'd be no war. A lot of accidents, maybe.
    If Halliburton made flu vaccine, we'd be swimming in it.
    If he catches you, you're through - Road Runner.
    If he knew 9 more things, he'd be an idiot.
    If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
    If IBM invented Sushi, it'd be marketed as "Cold Dead Raw Fish"
    If I bought a second set of drums, would there be repercussions?
    If I buy the steel wool, will you knit me a Mercedes?
    If I can't EAT fried foods what CAN I do with them?
    If I can't have it all, I think I'll just cry a lot.
    If I choose you over sleep, you must be pretty special to me.
    If I could put time in a bottle....
    If I could type, I'd be a great groprammer!
    If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need a doctor!
    If I'da shot her sooner, I'd be out of jail by now...
    If I didn't drink this beer, brewer's kids might go hungry.
    If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
    If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.
    If if ain't broke, fix it anyway!
    If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
    If ignornace is bliss, you ought to be ecstatic.
    If I got a dime each time you pissed me off, I'd have a sock full to beat you with.
    I figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
    If I had a hammer, I'd get hammered in the morning.
    If I had all the money I spent on chilies...I'd buy more chilies.
    If I had it to do over again...I'd do it over again! ;*)
    If I had more time, I'd write a shorter message.
    If I had sex as much as I got screwed, I'd be quite happy!
    If I hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time my head will explode.
    If I hear that just one more time my head will explode.
    If I invested in General Motors, it would be busted to Corporal.
    If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll keep getting what I'm getting.
    If I knew what I was talkin' about, you'd probably agree with me.
    If I knew what I was talking about I wouldn't be here.
    If I liked Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!
    If I made myself clear, let me know and I'll start over.
    If I'm found unconcious, begin an IV of Hershey's syrup! ;*)
    If I'm wrong, please dismiss this as merely the babblings of a madman.
    I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it.
    I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side.
    If in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream & shout.
    I find circuses a little too sinister.
    I find that few people truly _like_ caviar.
    If I slavishly follow his trend I will be close to the heart of coolness.
    If it ain't a wolf it's a hell of a big dog said the third little pig.
    If it ain't fried, it ain't food.
    If it CAN go wrong, it already did.
    If it doesn't fit don't force it. Go get a bigger hammer!
    If it doesn't move, eat it. If it moves, kill it. Then eat it.
    If it doesn't piss us off its on topic.
    If it doesn't quicken your pulse, it ain't worth eating.
    If it happens, it must be possible.
    If it has syntax, it's not user freindly!
    If it has tits or tires sooner or later it's going to give you trouble!
    If it has tits or tires you're gonna have trouble with it.
    If it isn't borken, don't fix it.
    If it isn't broken, I can fix it.
    If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why.
    If it is to be, it is up to me.
    If it is to be, it is up to me! (10 most important 2 letter words)
    If it jams - force it. If it breaks it needed replacing anyway.
    If it kills me, I won't do it again.
    If it pisses us off its off topic.
    If it's any good at all they will soon discontinue it.
    If it screams, it's not food, yet....
    If it's easy it's a trick. If it's hard it's a technique.
    If it's glowing, don't eat it...
    If it's good they will stop making it.
    If it's got beans in it, it ain't chili!": Wesley Pitts
    If it's got grape jelly in it, it's *not* chili!.
    If it's got jelly beans in it, it definitely ain't chili!
    If it's green and it wiggles, it's biology.
    If it's loud and goes fast - I'll buy a ticket! - Dave Drum
    If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
    If it's not wood, it's no good.
    If it's on fire, it's a hardware problem.
    If it's on television, it must be good.
    If it's stupid and it works, then it ain't stupid.
    If it stinks, it's chemistry.
    If its Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em ???
    If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
    If it walks like a duck... shoot it and roast it for dinner.
    If it walks out of your refrigerator, gun it down.
    If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO!!
    If it walks, quacks, and looks like a duck...COOK IT!!
    If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
    If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
    If it weren't for Chicago, Wisconsin would be Nebraska.
    If it weren't for politicians there wouldn't be a deficit.
    If it weren't for the last minute, nothing'd get done.
    If it works, something went wrong.
    If I've cleared up anything, I'm terribly sorry about it.
    If I wanted to wait a week, I'd order it next week!
    If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you.
    If I were a bear, I'd only eat vegetarians.
    If I were a plastic surgeon, I'd pick my nose.
    If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
    If I were President, we'd take off "Just Because Day" twice a year.
    If I were truly original, I'd think of something cute.
    If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
    If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
    If Jesus was Jewish, why does he have a Mexican name?
    IF laughter is the best medicine, let's take a double dose.
    If Life's a trip, where the hell is MY ticket?
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so thin?
    If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws.
    If men could only know each other, they would neither idolise nor hate.
    If money is the root of all evil, why do churches seek it so avidly?
    If more Christians read the Bible there'd be less of them.
    If mother says no, ask grandma.
    If my suspicions are correct there can be no response to this message.
    If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
    If not for raisins, Gingerbread Men couldn't see!
    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make it stick to the pan.
    If Nuclear tests are safe why don't the French do them in France?
    If nudity was natural, we all would have been born naked.
    IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
    If only Karen Carpenter had eaten the sandwich that Mama Cass choked on.
    If only NWTel knew what I was do=2+O#:|4+b-o NO CARRIER
    If only we could sell our mistakes for what they cost us!!!
    If only women came with pull down menus and on-line help...
    I forgot...could you tell me what amnesia means again?? I-forgot-to-take-my-goddamn-Zoloft-again-mother.
    if (Original_Ver==OK) Don't_Upgrade();
    IF original_works THEN don't_upgrade ENDIF
    I found the answer . . . but forgot the question.
    I found the perfect woman, but she is looking for the perfect man.
    If penicillin is a wonder drug, how come it can't cure bread mould?
    If Piggy and Kermit had kids: pigpoles or froglets?
    If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on.
    If "pro" is the opposite of "con", what's the opposite of "progress"?
    If puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst.
    If sanity were dollars I'd be bankrupt.
    If sardines didn't come in cans, how would ya hold 'em?
    If screwups were dollars, I'd be a millionaire!!
    If sex were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head!
    If sheep=ram + donkey=ass why is ram in ass=goose?
    If she says she's into bondage don't show her your financial portfolio.
    If someone shoots me, I get to keep the bullet.
    If some people said what they thought, they'd be speechless.
    If something sounds easy there is usually a part you didn't hear.
    If stupidity was painful, then people would get help.
    If swimming is so good for you, why are whales so fat ?
    IF Tagline = 'STOLEN' THEN; Insult(Thief); ENDI
    If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.
    If that's my brain on drugs, can I have sausage with it?
    If the British can survive their meals, they can survive anything.
    If the cops throw a net over me, am I legally in seine?
    If thee marries for money, thee surely will earn it. - Ezra Bowen
    If the enemy is in range, so are you.
    If the English can survive their food they can survive anything. G.B. Shaw
    If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with the lights off?
    If the gov't wants us to respect the law it should set a better example.
    If the hushpuppies are so bad you order the rolls why are you there?
    If the meek inherit the earth how hard will it be to get it back?
    If the people have no bread, let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette
    If the people lead, the leaders will follow.
    If the phone doesn't ring, it's me.
    If the polls are so accurate, why are there so many polling companies?
    If there were enough engineers perhaps there wouldn't be any lawyers.
    "If the shoe fits, buy it." - Imelda Marcos
    If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
    If the solution were that simple the problem would never have existed.
    If they put malt in beer and malt in milk, why not beer in milk?
    If they put your brain in a bird, it would fly backward.
    If they want unsweetened tea they can go back north.
    If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
    If thine enemy offend thee... Give his child a drum!
    If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
    If things improve with age I'm approaching magnificance.
    If things improve with age, I'm nearly MAGNIFICENT!OJW
    If this coffee brings me some tea. If this is tea bring me some coffee.
    If this is a service economy, why is the service so bad?
    If this is Hell - where are the lawyers???
    If this is not what you expected, please alter your expectations.
    If this was a real emergency, you'd've been trampled
    If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
    Ift thay'd giove a curse in typoes, I couuuld mak and A+.
    IF (User-Docs) = 1 THEN;(CALL(TechSupport))
    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
    If vegetarians love animals so much why do they eat all their food?
    If voting could really change things it would be illegal.
    If we all valued food and drink above gold the world would be merrier.
    If we aren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat? - Bumper
    If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
    If we buy bad bread, good bakers will go out of business.
    If we can't understand what he's saying, he's not a genius.
    If we don't stand for something, we'll fall for anything.
    If we do what we should we won't have to do what we shouldn't.
    If we had some bread we could have ham sandwiches...if we had ham.
    If we KNEW what we were doing it wouldn't be RESEARCH!!!
    If we learn from our mistakes, I'm about due for my PhD.
    If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote?
    If we quit voting - will they all go away?
    If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
    If we weren't meant to eat animals why are they made of meat?
    If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
    If work is a virtue, I'm living in sin!
    If ya know what you're doing, then you're doing it wrong.
    If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
    If you are going to try cross country skiing start with a small country.
    If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?
    If you are what you eat, what are vegetarians?
    If you are willing to die, you can do anything!
    If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?
    If you break a leg, don't come running to me.
    If you call me insane again, I'll eat your other eye too.
    If you can find a village without an idiot, you've got a job.
    If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.
    If you can make 'em laugh, you can make 'em think.
    If you can read this, then I typed it. IfyoUcaNreadtHis,yoUspeNdtoOmuChtimefiGuriNgouTtagliNeS!
    If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there.
    If you can survive YK winters, the rest is easy.
    If you can swallow tobacco spit and not puke, you may be a Redneck.
    If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
    If you can't be a vegetarian, eat a vegetarian.
    If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
    If you can't confuse em with facts, baffle em with bull shit.
    If you can't convince them, confuse them.
    If you can't flirt with the Moderator remember the Co-Moderator
    If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
    If you can't make both ends meet - make one end potatoes.
    If you can't make it good, make it big.
    If you can't make someone love you, stalk them until they give in.
    If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
    If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
    If you can't tell a fib, make it a BIG lie.
    If you chase two chickens at once, you're bound to catch neither.
    If you choke a Smurf, what color does he turn?
    If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
    If you cook roadkill, do you call it chili con carnage?
    If you could choose between a girl and the PS4, what game to play first?
    If you could get there from here you wouldn't want to.
    If you could hide from God, Las Vegas would probably be the place.
    If you crack an antique it only increases the value.
    If you cross this field, do it in 9 seconds. The bull can cross in 10.
    If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
    If you die broke, the timing was right.
    If you do a favor, forget it. If you receive a favor, remember it.
    If you do not wish a thing heard... do not say it!
    If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
    If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
    If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.
    If you don't have to use smoke to get it, it's not honey!
    If you don't have to wear a net to get it, it's not honey!
    If you don't learn from your mistakes there's no sense making them.
    If you don't like getting old, consider the alternative.
    If you don't like making excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
    If you don't like me tailgating, buy bumper stickers with bigger words.
    If you don't like the Graffiti here, don't order Italian!
    If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
    If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
    If you don't say it, they can't repeat it.
    If you don't see a big messy pile of wood out back, keep driving.
    If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
    If you don't think women are explosive, drop one!!
    If you don't understand english, have this message translated for you.
    If you don't want to see trees, stay away from the forest.
    If you do research in optics, you will have to do some light reading.
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