• [AUTOPOST] Taglines 11 of 25 (max 500 lines per post)

    From Mark Lewis@1:2320/100 to All on Sat Jul 16 12:45:04 2016
    If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
    If you drink enough wine, it doesn't matter how bad it is.
    If you drink, watch for liquor mortis.
    If you eat at McDonald's, you might as well smoke.
    If you enjoy your job you'll never work a day in your life.
    If you find a path with no obstacles it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
    If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine.
    If you focus only on the thorns you will miss the beauty of the rose.
    If you get a modem, you get trouble. - Swedish Computer Inspection.
    If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
    If you have a bunch of clowns, you're going to have a circus.
    If you have a Touchtone phone, press 1. If not, press 2.
    If you have to ask.... you'll never know.
    If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
    If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room it will eventually turn white.
    If you knew what you were talking about I wouldn't be here.
    If you left me without a reason, don't come back with an excuse.
    If you left without a reason, don't come back with an excuse.
    If you like what I say, I said it. If you don't, I didn't say it. :-)
    If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.
    If you live long enough, something will kill you.
    If you love me, you'd swallow the tofu, not spit it out.
    If you love something, kill it. If it returns you belong to it forever.
    If you must make sausage, make it well.
    If you order the chili, I need to know your next of kin.
    If you order the hot-n-spicy we need to know your next of kin.
    If you own a homemade fur coat, you may be a Redneck.
    If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
    If you put pasta shells to your ear, can you hear the soup?
    If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
    If your bread is stale, make toast.
    If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.
    If you're always right, you have a lot to learn.
    If you're a zombie you don't want to overschedule.
    If you're ever mugged by clowns, don't hesitate.... go for the juggler.
    If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
    If you're feeling good, don't worry.You'll get over it.
    If you're gonna use taglines, at least write yer own! (c)
    If you're having a hallucination, I can come back later.
    If you're interested, I'll be in my quarters, covered in maple syrup.
    If you're losing the game, change the rules.
    If you're lucky enough to be Irish...you're lucky enough!
    If you're not making waves, you're not rowing the boat.
    If you're not the lead dog, everything looks the same!
    If you're not the lead dog the view never changes!
    If you're "not yourself today", enjoy it while you can.
    If you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
    If you're on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Anon
    If you're really a police dog, where's your badge?
    If you're standing in a puddle, don't touch anything that hums.
    If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.
    If you're too busy to laugh, you're entirely too busy.
    If you're unhappy, you can always change your mind.
    If your idea of health food is pork rinds, you may be a Redneck.
    If your mind goes blank, remember to turn off the sound.
    If you see an onion ring, answer it.
    If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes.
    If you see God, tell him I'm looking for him.
    If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.
    If you see the cockroaches throwing up, pick another restaurant.
    If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
    If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer ?
    If you sing by the window, I'll help you out.
    If you slow-dance at Denny's, you may be a redneck.
    If you solved the NY Times' crossword puzzle, you probably cheated.
    If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.
    If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
    If you stomp gripes, do you get whine?
    If you take away the fuel, in time the flames will die!
    If you take no chances you have no chance.
    If you think a professional is expensive, wait until you hire an amateur.
    If you think I am "crazy" why do you read my message ?
    If you think I'm strange, you should meet my kids!
    If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
    If you think Paprika is a third world country, you may be a Redneck.
    If you think there is good in everybody then you haven't met everybody.
    If you think you are confused now, wait until I explain it!
    If you think you're confused now, just wait until *I* explain it.
    If you try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
    If you've done something wrong... learn from it.
    If you wait all that happens is you get older.
    If you wanna do it right, then why do it?
    "If you wanna smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass-just be honest about

    If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
    If you want a place in the sun be prepared for a few blisters.
    If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
    If you want good food, cook it yourself. - Traditional Chinese Proverb
    If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.
    If you want to hear everything keep both eyes open.
    If you want to make a apple pie from scratch, first make the universe.
    If you want to move ahead you have to leave something behind.
    If you want your boomerang to come back, throw it first...!
    If you were a butterfly, would Cher be tattooed on your butt?
    If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it.
    If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of others.
    If you would keep a slave, educate him not.
    I gave Tabasco up for Lent.
    I gave up on my wife, and married my computer.
    I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
    I generally prefer normal late-19th century cuisine. ML
    I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
    I get mail from Serious Cooks informing me that I am a clueless idiot.
    I get up at 6 am every morning, no matter what time it is.
    I give up, what is the meaning of life?
    Ignorance is bliss, but it will NEVER replace sex.
    Ignorance is bold and knowledge reserved.
    Ignore alien orders.
    Ignored like tofu at an Atkins convention.
    Ignore me... I'm just here for my looks!
    Ignore the obvious at your, and your body's, peril.
    Ignore your health and it will go away.
    I gob a code in my node, id dat a virus?
    I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
    I got a new phone. Plugged it in. Pushed REDIAL. It freaked out.
    I got a new shadow. My last shadow wasn't doing what I was doing.
    I got an "F" once on a question that asked my opinion.
    I got an idea. My brain cell is aching something fierce!
    I got everything but the part after "Now listen closely".
    I got lost in thought, it was unfamiliar territory.
    I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
    I got my act together and forgot where I put it!
    I got paranoid when I found out people were plotting against me!
    I got rid of the children because the cat was allergic.
    I gotta get a new computer. This one makes too many mistakes.
    I got the answers. Who changed the questions?
    I grill giant slabs of beef on the Weber every night.
    I guess that was the day I drank my bath water.
    I guess we all have our peculiarities...except me, of course!
    I guess you can tell that he's been into the mushrooms.
    I had amnesia once - or twice.
    I had a troubled childhood; I was breast fed from falsies.
    I had him shot, to improve the gene pool.
    I had my coat hangers spayed.
    I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.
    I had the right rib, but it musta been the wrong sauce! Dr. John
    I had to give up being a vegetarian because of the side effects.
    I had to throw out the chowder. There was a dead clam in it.
    I hate being sexy but someone has to do it.
    I hate laundry month.
    I hAtE wHeN pEoPlE tYpE lIkE tHiS... iT gIvEs Me A HeAdAcHe!!!
    I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?
    I have a feeling this isn't Kansas, Toto!
    I have a female dog. I tried to mate her, she wants 50 biscuits.
    I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it!
    I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
    I have a lot of faith in the sterilizing effect of deep frying.
    I have always imagined paradise will be a kind of library. -JL Borges
    I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. I will eventually win.
    I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died!
    I have a rock garden. Last week, three of them died.
    I have a rope and an ostrich feather, and I know how to use them.
    I have a theory that the only original things we ever do are mistakes.
    I have closed my consciousness to all further discussions on that.
    I have erased the thin line between genius and insanity....
    I have escaped from a political correction facility.
    I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
    I have had all of Brent I can take and I CAN'T TAKES NO MORE!
    I have never been beat by a barrier between me and my intended drink.
    I have no beef with God. It's His fan clubs I can't tolerate.
    I have no cute little saying to put here.
    I have no problem keeping secrets. It's the people I tell...
    I have no proof McDonald's Fries weren't mobile animals in the past.
    I have NOT lost my mind...I know EXACTLY where I left it...
    I have no use for the hate-filled phobic Right or the whiny Left.
    I haven't been inside a McDonald's since about 1983.
    I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
    I haven't spoken to my MIL for a year. She hates interruptions.
    I have read and understand the above X____________________________
    I have read and understood the above. X________________
    I have responsibilities; so many people rely on me for fun. - Neekha
    I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence...
    I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
    I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
    I have the deepest respect for women. My own wife is a woman.
    I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk.
    I have the wine knowlege of a chipmunk.
    I have to become responsible for mistakes as well as accomplishments.
    I have to file an environmental impact statement when I make chili.
    I have to file an environmental impact statement when I make salsa.
    I have to stop now, my fingers are getting hoarse!
    I have to stop now, my fingers are getting hoarse.
    I have two pets: a large main dog, and a small emergency backup one.
    I have write only memory...
    I heard what you did for a Klondike Bar. Call me...
    I hit my CTRL key, but I'm STILL not in control.
    I hit my "DELETE" key but your still here. WHY!!
    I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of the law.
    I hope he stayed around long enough to see the answer.
    I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
    I hope the nearest dog confuses your pant leg with a tree.
    I hope they don't raise the standard of living; I can't afford it now.
    I hope we live to be as old as our jokes.
    I hunt flies with a sledge hammer....and get em!!!
    I hunt with nuclear warheads, Ya kill and cook with the same shot!!!
    I installed a sky-light. Folks above me are mad.
    I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
    I intend to stuff my turkeys until it kills me!
    I invented the cordless extension cord.
    I is knot dain bramaged!!!
    I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
    I just bought batteries, but they weren't included.
    I just got a blond for Christmas What do I do with her?
    I just got my AT&T bill. Buy stock!
    I just have a much different image of Canada.
    I just invested half my life savings in yeast!
    I just may open a sushi grill.
    I just need enough coffee to tide me over 'till I need more.
    I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
    I just noticed my computer is out of periods, the rabbit died.
    I just tested out my pit bull. Ever hear a mime scream?
    I just want the cake and be thin too.
    I just want to dominate my own little corner of the world.
    I knew him back when he was just a netkook.
    I knew the drink recipe was authentic when you mentioned the parasol.
    I knew you back when you were just a netkook.
    I know a good tagline when I steal one.
    I know all about multi-tasking. I read on the john.
    I know curiousity killed the cat...but I'm not a cat!
    I know everything, but I'm sworn to secrecy.
    I know how hard it is to put food on your family. - George W. Bush
    I know my memory is around here someplace, now where did I put it?
    I know one thing, indecision may or may not be my problem.
    I know so little, but I know it fluently....
    I know the answer, as long as you ask the right question.
    I know the answers...as long as you ask the right questions.
    I know the runny green stuff's potato. What's the black gravel?
    I know the voices aren't real but they have good ideas.
    I know this weiner dude! He sells this weiner food!
    I know what 8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide is, and how to use it.
    I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.
    I know what you did for a Klondike Bar and you're gross!
    I know what you're thinking and you should be ashamed of yourself.
    I left my tart in Aunt Fran's Crisco.
    I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. -- Steve Martin
    "I like dogs, cats AND goldfish." Tom said pettishly.
    I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me.
    I like my pets better than I like most people.
    I *like* my white coat with the buckles in the back!!
    I like pigs. Pigs treat us as equals.
    I like the way your mind malfunctions.
    I like thick manuals .... they make better doorstops!
    I like time machine restaurants which evoke an earlier age.
    I like to give homemade gifts. Which child would you like?
    I like to try out the new juicer on everything. But bread juice?
    I like young girls. Their stories are shorter.
    I listen to my body. It says, "Cookies and chocolate milk, please".
    I live in my own little world. Everybody knows me there.
    I'll age ungracefully til I'm an old man doing whatever I want.
    I'll be having sweet dreams of Sharon and by now so will you
    I'll be unstoppable when I get started.
    I'll byte your bits if you'll nybble my words.
    I'll do whatever she tells me. And I really really mean that.
    I'll eat natural foods when people stop dying from natural causes.
    Illegal, ok, but is it IMMORAL to tar & feather lawyers?
    Illegal, ok, but is it IMMORAL to tar & feather politicians?
    Illegitimi non carborundum.
    I'll give you 2 hours to stop that.
    I'll have some 8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide on mine please.
    I'll have the Golden Shower Shrimp and the Twice-Chewed Beef.
    I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with bacon, grits, toast and coffee I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with bacon, hashbrowns, toast and c I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with bacon, homefries, toast and co I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with sausage, grits, toast and coff I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with sausage, hashbrowns, toast and I'll have two brains on drugs, scrambled with sausage, homefries, toast and I'll have two brains on drugs with bacon, grits, toast and coffee.
    I'll have two brains on drugs with bacon, hashbrowns, toast and coffee.
    I'll have two brains on drugs with bacon, homefries, toast and coffee.
    I'll have two brains on drugs with sausage, grits, toast and coffee.
    I'll have two brains on drugs with sausage, hashbrowns, toast and coffee.
    I'll have two brains on drugs with sausage, homefries, toast and coffee. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
    I'll let you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last.
    I'll need a translator in Latin America cause I don't speak Latin.
    I'll never be useless... not while I serve as a horrible example.
    I'll never forget his last words: "What bus?"
    I'll never forget what's-his-name.
    I'll show you MY fax number if you show me YOURS...
    I'll try anything once too often.
    I'll try anything twice. Once if it kills me.
    Illuminati vehicles courtesy of the Fnord Motor Co.
    I looked deep into the eyes of that potato, and ordered Steak instead.
    I lost my glasses and can't look for them until I find them.
    I lost my virginity on a farm, he said sheepishly.
    I lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the time.
    I Love Animals......They're Delicious!
    I love animals - They taste great!
    I love a woman with chocolate on her breath.
    I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paper work.
    I love blue jello. Next to pork, my favorite vegetable.
    I love cooking my children and leaving out commas.
    I love cows! They turn into great steaks.
    I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
    I LOVE Grandma Browns Grape Jelly made of reconstituted whale blubber!
    I love my country but am embarrassed by my government.
    I love my country but I fear my government.
    I love my country (with certain specific exceptions).
    I love my "surrogate Mammy!"
    I love my work!
    I love pigeons. Tastes like chicken with a twang.
    "I love sluts. Sluts rock." - Coop
    I love spring, summer and fall but the other 9 months are hell.
    I love the little white pills they give me. Why am I tied to the bed?
    I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
    I love vegetables; I once committed an act of photosynthesis with one.
    I lurk quietly and carry a big OFF/ON switch.
    I luvs ya, but everyone else thinks you're an ass.
    I'm a 20th century kind of guy.
    I'm a belligerent omnivore - I eat vegetarians.
    I'm about as ferocious as a Rottweiler with all 4 feet in the air ;*)
    I'm a Bovo Porco Fungo Vegetarian.
    I'm a chocoholic. I have blood Type M&M Positive !!!
    I'm a Chowhound not a Foodie!
    I'm a clinically depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac. - Kyle [South Park]
    I'm a critic, so I know what I don't like.
    I Made A Mental Note, But Forgot Where I Put It ...
    I'm a Freud I can't do that.
    Imagination is the highest kite one can fly!
    IMAGINE! I was accused of being an ADULT the other day!
    I'm a gnu. A gnother gnu.
    I majored in Animal Husbandry.... until they caught me at it.
    I'm a little strange, but folks 'round here hardly notice.
    I'm all out of fucks to give but here's a rat's ass.
    I'm all out of fucks to give but you can have this rat's ass.
    I'm always in trouble, but it's so much FUN!
    I'm always in trouble, but it's sooooooo much fun.
    I'm a Man, I can bake, I got a Breadmaker!
    I'm amazed, that it works at all.
    I'm a modemer & I'm OK, I post all night & I sleep all day.
    I managed to get a chile crop from muskeg.
    I'm an agnostic. I don't hate anybody.
    I'm an Anglo-Saxon, so why am I an anglophone? Why not a saxophone?
    I'm an electrician...I'll fix your shorts ;*)
    I'm ANN LANDERS!! I CAN shoplift!!
    I'm a paranoid dyslexic; sometimes I think I'm following someone.
    I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar!
    I'm a Seventh-Day Absentist.
    I'm ashamed to like them.
    "I'm a supervisor. I don't have to be useful." - Frank Burns
    I'm at a loss for words.. Someone keeps deleting them.
    I'm a trend-setter. You have any trends you need set?
    I'm at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK...
    I'm a vegetarian, you know, and pork is my favorite vegetable.
    I may be dumb.....but I'm NOT stupid!! ;*)
    I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT stupid! ;*)
    I may be fat, but you're ugly. I can lose weight!
    I may be weird, but around here, it's barely noticeable.
    I may be wrong, but I'm never in doubt!
    I may be wrong, but I'm not uncertain.
    I may grow old, but I *refuse* to grow up! ;*)
    I *may* grow old,...BUT I *refuse* to grow up! ;*)
    I may not be discreet, but I know how to keep a secret.
    I may not be smart, but I can lift heavy things.
    I may not be smart, but I'm dumb...
    I may spout nonsense, but, dammit, I believe in it!
    I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
    I'm being held prisoner in a chocolate factory. Don't send help.
    I'm belly building...not body building..!!
    I'm blocking all future emails from you because you are ugly.
    I'm burning the candle at both ends - tell me where to get more wax!
    I'm Buy-sexual, I have to pay for it.
    I'm Canadian but I refuse to end my sentences with "eh", y'know!
    I'm clinging to sanity by a thread. Hand me those scissors.
    I'm coming Dear, I only have 437 more messages to read!
    I'm Don Pepperoni, the Pizza God Father.
    I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
    I met a strange lady, she made me nervous.
    *I'm* even amazed that I figured THAT out!
    I'm filthy, stinking, rich! - Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!
    I'm flexible..just don't change anything.
    I'm forever blowing bubbles...
    I'm from the IRS, and I'm here to help you.
    I'm from the Jim, Jim, and Jim Club......I'm Jim!! ;*)
    I'm from the superior species.
    I'm getting older but I still wake up mornings.
    I'm glad Congress is passing a bill giving Bush intelligence.
    I'm going crazy. Want to come along?
    I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
    I'm going to hide now. Bye!
    I'm gonna miss my Vikki, Vikki, Vikki, Vikki, Vikki, Vikki, Vikki! ;*)
    I'm gonna plead insanity, what about you?
    I'm half German, half Cornish and half English. I am very large.
    I'm having a bowl of foot stew...trust me, you don't want any!
    I'm having a pronoun problem here.
    I'm having a pronoun problem here; just what are you babbling on about?
    I'm heavily armed, easily upset, and off the medication.
    I'm here because I'm not all there ...
    I might as well exercise... I'm in a bad mood anyway !
    I might not always be right. But, by God, I ain't never wrong!!!
    I'm immortal. I'm bored. Let's party.
    I'm immortal... so far.
    I'm in here for being crazy, not stupid.
    I'm in no hurry to die. It might mean an end to chocolate! ;*)
    I'm in recovery. I had an overdose of reality.
    I'm in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere?
    I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
    I missed the moderator. I'll aim better next time.
    I missed the old Moderator, but then reloaded!
    I miss my Sharon, Sharon, Sharon, Sharon ;*)
    I'm Jim, and I'm a chile abuser.
    I'm just a Crow waiting for roadkill on the Information Highway.
    I'm just a peripheral visionary.
    I'm just a simple man.
    I'm just a simple man working on the land.
    I'm just babbling like this because I'm staring at her cleavage.
    I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
    I'm just here for moral support. Ignore the gun.
    I'm just moving clouds today - tomorrow I'll try mountains.
    I'm just trying out this tagline. It's not registered yet.
    I'm kidding, I'm kidding ... said the ram to the ewe.
    I'm learned Spanish by calling my bank and pressing the #2 button.
    I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
    I'm looking for a small tractor for my ant farm.
    I'm looking for results, not ideology.
    I'm lost. I left a trail of crumbs, but somebody ate'em.
    I'm man enough that I'll put whatever the hell I want in my chili.
    I'm married to a Computer Widow!
    (Immoderate laughter at own joke)
    I'm mooning everybody right now! You just can't see me!
    Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.
    I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
    I'm much too young to feel this damned old
    I'm much too young to feel this damned old.
    I'm no April fool...I'm like this all year long!
    I'm no lawyer, but I vaguely remember something like that.
    I'm NOT 48.. I am 18 with 30 years of experience!
    I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing!
    I'm not a complete idiot...several parts are missing.
    I'm not a Doctor... but don't tell my girlfriend!
    I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
    I'm not a junk food junkie, just a recreational user.
    I'm not an asshole. I'm a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.
    I'm not a Novice; I'm an Expert Beginner.
    I'm not a PESSIMIST; I'm an OPTIMIST with a REALITY Chaser!
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right!
    I'm not as stupid as I look, but I hope to be some day.
    I'm not as thunk as you drink I am.
    I'm not at wit's end, but I can see it from here.
    I'm NOT a vampire - I just eat like one...
    I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I just hate PLANTS!
    I'm not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.
    I'm not Canadian, although I tend to like their bacon.
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
    I'm not crazy, I just don't give a s#1t.
    I'm not crazy. I'm just mentally overstimulated.
    I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
    I'm not dead - I'm just electroencephalographically challenged!
    I'm not dyslexic, thank dog!
    I'm no teacher, but knowing me is certainly an education.
    I'm not gonna lie to you. Heaven is a nice place. -Satan
    I'm not insane; Just pschologically challenged.
    I'm not into working out. I figure no pain means NO PAIN!
    I'm not loafing! I'm doing research on Inertia.
    I'm *not* losing my hair...I'm growing a solar panel ;*)
    I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
    I'm not myself today . . . I like it.
    I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!
    I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
    I'm not opinionated, I'm right!
    I'm not out to lunch, I'm out for a four course meal.
    I'm not perfect. (but my subconcious is)
    I'm not really paranoid...they really are out to get me!
    I'm not schizophrenic, I'm just multi-faceted.
    I'm not Schizophrenic! Neither am I!!
    I'm not Schizophrenic! Yes I am! No I'm Not! Who are you?
    I'm not spoiled - I just smell that way.
    I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going!
    I'm not sure I'd want to meet the insect that eats Habaneros!
    I'm not tense, just terribly alert!
    I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
    I'm not violent but I like to see people beat up for a good reason.
    I'm not weird... I'm gifted!
    I modem down, but they grew back.
    I'm on a low-falutin' quest for sex and good french fries.
    I'm one-of-a-kind. (Just what kind, nobody's really sure.)
    I'm on fire...give me chili!!
    I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler.
    I'm only HALF lemming - I wear a life preserver.
    I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me.
    I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
    I'm outstanding in my field (left field) knee deep in BS
    I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rearview mirror.
    I'm perfectly normal; you can ask any of my psychiatrists.
    I'm perfect, other people just screw up my plans.
    I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM.
    Impossibility is an excuse before the law.
    Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
    I'm pretty sure I put out the cat and pureed the tomatos.
    I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean anything. And perhaps less.
    I'm really imprinted with the quality of this conference.
    I'm red with sunburn, green with envy, a little blue and pure yellow!!
    I'm schitzophrenic and so am I.
    I'm shocked that country managed to become a super power!
    "I'm simply not a nice girl," she whispered tartly.
    I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my wife.
    I'm so full, I don't think I could download another byte.
    I'm so full of it that *I* don't even believe me! ;*)
    I'm so glad to see you! I've run out of people to torment.
    I'm so hungry, I could almost eat health food.
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    * Origin: LiveWire BBS - Synchronet - LiveWireBBS.com (1:2320/100)