FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
Face reality; yet, indulge yourself in fantasy and plenty of Drugs.
FACT: Fourteen out of every ten people like chocolate.
Facts are stubborn little bastards. Be careful with them.
Facts cannot prevail against faith, or adamant folly.
FACT: There are more horse's asses than there are horses
FACT: There are n+1 zucchinis in the universe.
Fahr-ferg-nug-en: German for "Can't afford the Mercedes."
Failure Is Not An Option. It's bundled with your software.
Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
Falling ego zone. Keep ID covered at all times.
"Fall seven times, stand up eight." ~ Japanese Proverb
"Fall seven times, stand up eight." --Japanese Proverb
Fame is... being known by more people than you know.
Famous for my homemade squash wine.
Famous Last Words: "Go away! I'm all right!" - H G Wells
Famous Last Words: "I think it's dead." - A bear hunter
Famous Last Words: "It hurts." - Chas. DeGaulle
Famous last words: "Watch me goose that sleeping dragon!"
Famous Last Words: "Wife! These biscuits are tough!"
Fanatical enthusiasm was the mark of the real man.
Fancy Restaurant: One where they serve your soup cold on purpose.
FART: Firearms, Alcohol, Religion & Tobacco (formerly ATF)
Fascism: You have two cows. Government takes both, sells you the milk.
Fasten your seatbelt... I wanna try something.
Faster cars, colder beer, younger women, more money!
Faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey, More Money!
Fatal Database Error #10070: Sysop late for work.
Fatal error: SysOp out of environment space.
FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! - Press any key to do nothing...
FATAL: PCBORED.EXE in C:\WC30. Now formatting C:
Fate leads the willing, but drives the stubborn.
Fathers are important people too!
Fat persons are simply nutritional overachievers.
Fear as a tactic is a carefully constructed PR methodology.
Fear is a cultural narcotic.
Fear is a media pastime.
Fear is a poison in the air, a cancer in the national bloodstream.
Fear is a tactic.
Fear, it just is. It nibbles away at our souls like a tapeworm.
Fear, it's the Mother of Violence.
Fear of crowded holiday shopping: Santa Claustrophobia
Fear of crowded holiday shopping: Santa Claustrophobia.
Fear sells copy, moves product, draws ratings, gets votes.
Feature: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative. Features should be discovered, not documented!
Feed your faith and starve your doubts to death.
Feeling like roadkill on the Information Superhighway.
Feelings are everywhere - be gentle. Or I'll kill you!
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
"Feliz Natal e Feliz ano Novo." - Portuguese Christmas
"Feliz Navidad y prospero Ano Nuevo." - Spanish
"Feliz Navidad y prospero Ano Nuevo." - Spanish Christmas
Feminism is simply the radical notion that women are people.
FEMINISM: The radical idea that men are scum.
Fer sail cheep, Whindos spel chekker, wurks grate!
FETISH: A kind of cheese made from goat milk.
Few great men could get past the Personnel Department.
Few milkmen are married as they've seen women too early in the morning.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
<Fido burps in background and wags his tail>
FIDO isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
Fidonet: The Information Winding Country Road.
Fight against violence!
Fight Crime: Shoot a politician
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Fighting for peace is like screaming for quiet.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
"Figures. First time on the Core and what do I get to do? Dig through trash."
File HA-HA.TXT not found. ROFL instead? Y/n
File not found. Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/Y)_
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.
File not found: Loading something that looked similar.
FILES=1 BUFFERS=0 FCBS=SAYWHAT BREAK=GIMME
Finally, a soda with the great taste of worcester sauce! Mm, steaky!
Finding fault is easy. Fixing faults can be tough.
Find the anagram in this message and win a prize!
Fine: tax for doing wrong. Tax: fine for doing right.
Fired from orange juice factory - couldn't concentrate! !
Fire roast frost open Jack an on....uhh, darn it....Hey! More eggnog!
Fire roast frost open Jack an on....uhh, darnit....Hey! More eggnog!
Firewood alone will not start a fire. -Chinese Proverb
Firmness in decision is often merely a form of stupidity.
First, draw the curve; then, plot the data.
First impressions say more than one might realize.
First Law of Lab Work: Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
First listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary.
FIRST listen to the missionary. THEN eat him.
First Officer, beam me up another Blue Wave Packet ;*)
First prize is a CD of Marcel Marceau's greatest hits.
First rule of marriage: If YOU'RE Right, APOLOGIZE FAST!
First Telephone Book: Bell, Alexander G..... 001
First thing to go in a zealot? Humor. Second: Perspective.
First, we slaughter 'em. Then we eat 'em!
First You Take 16 Habaneros...
Fish Chili bad!
Fish knives are a mystifying bourgeois affectation.
Fish Spaghetti - No!
Five out of four people have problems with fractions.
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
Fix it! Hell, I can't even open it!
Fix the economy? Make welfare as hard to get as a building permit. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flailing his arms like a volunteer in a nerve-gas experiment.
Flash! Magi caught smuggling at border. Film at eleven.
Flattery will get you everywhere! Keep talkin'.
Flatulence is nature's contribution to humor.
Flirt with me like that again and I'll follow you anywhere.
Floggings will continue until morale improves!!!
Floppy Disk = Lower back trouble.
Floppy not responding. Can you kiss it and make it well?
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?
Florida could have been hit by 20 hurricanes, instead of just 17.
Flying Saucer lands on White House. Aliens Demand to speak with Barbar.
..Fly me to the moon....... ;*)
@FN@ can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff
@FN@ can REALLY let her hair down!
@FN@ has all the charm of a dirty Christmas card.
@FN@ Have a Happy and Safe Holiday.
FOLD [EGGS]: Eggs cannot be folded unless they are first fried.
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work naked.
Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing. - Walt Kelly
Food heresy and the Spinach Inquisition.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Foods labeled "high fiber" now labeled as "tastes like cardboard"
Foolish is he who cannot see himself through other's eyes.
Foolish is he who only listens to his own opinion.
"Fool-proof"? Yes. "Damnfool-proof"? No.
Fools rush in - and get the best seats.
Football: big sweaty men pulverizing each other like gorillas on meth.
For adult education, nothing beats children.
Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam.
For cheap-ass garbage food we hand over our health, hearts and arteries. Foreign aid: $ from the poor in rich countries to the rich in poor ones. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
For every activist, there is an equal and opposite reactionary.
For every generalization, there is an exception except for this one.
For every right angle there is a wrong one.
For every soul, you are bound to find a heel.
Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home!
Forget technical details. Just gimmee the juicy gossip!
Forget the favors given; remember those received. -Chinese Proverb
Forget the favors given; remember those received. Old Chinese Proverb
Forget the shrimp! Daddy just came home with a case of crabs!
Forgive him, he's a Briton and thinks his tribal customs universal.
Forgive him, he thinks the custom of his tribe is the law of nature. Forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
Forgive thy enemies... but, keep a list of their names!!!
Forgive us for shooting those who trespass against us.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
For God's sake, keep a grip on yourself! - Brad Majors
For good clean fun, shower with a friend. Wanna be my friend? ;*)
Format that brain @FN@, it's warped I tell you!
For my NEXT trick, I'll stuff this SQUID with SPAM! - Jim Bodle
For peace of mind... resign as Manager of the Universe!
For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord.
For real sponge cake, borrow all ingredients.
Forrest Gump: Fools rush to a Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon.
Forsake not a friend of many years for the aquaintance of a day.
For Sale: dining table with two legs and six toes.
FOR SALE: Used Dyson sphere, needs work. Priced to sell.
For some moments in life, there are no words.
For some reason the little weinerheads make us laugh.
For some reason, the mention of slug oils turned my stomach.
For T-day I want a Jurassic fowl with drum sticks as large as my thighs. Fortune Cookie: America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
Fortune cookie: "We busy today! You leave now, we need table!" -DS
Found 65536 bytes in 8 lost chains - Convert to taglines? [Y/n]
Four food groups: canned, frozen, fast and junk.
Four out of five people think the fifth person is an idiot.
Four out of five salmon that smoke get bagels.
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes.
France? I would have loved it - without the French. (D. H. Lawrence)
France would be a very nice country if French people didn't inhabit it.
Francis Bacon wouldn't have made it as a rabbi.
Franklin invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards.
Frankly, my dear. I don't give a damn.
Free advice is seldom cheap.
Free advices sells themselves cheap.
Free Canada, Trade Martin!
[ ] Free Country [ ] Drug Free Country Choose One.
Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Free Love, n. - All that most can afford after taxes.
Free protein if they're fresh enough, and who'd call the cops?
Free speech should require a modicum of common sense.
FREE TIBET (Applies to first 2, all others at regular price)
French fries are MURDER... we MUST end this! - Mr. Potato Head
"French is the FORTRAN of human languages." - R. Gordon, alt.peeves
French Massacred! (Preston Manning gives a speech.)
FRENCH TOAST: pan-fried bread better known in Germany as German Toast.
Fresh meat should not have an ingredients list!
Fresh pineapple: The fruit that eats you back!
Frohliche Weihnachten und ein glUckliches Neues Jahr. --German Xmas.
Friction is a drag.
Fried beer - like fried ice cream, but more mysterious.
Fried Bologna: Newfie Steak.
Fried Mars bars.... what kind of sick freak are you?
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friendly advice has cost many a person a friend.
"Friendly angel, come to me."
Friendly fire is more accurate than enemy incoming.
Friendly fire - ISN'T !
FRIEND: One before whom you may think out loud.
Friends are God's apology for relations.
Friends are sometimes better then sex. But having both is GREAT!
Friends are the icing on the cake of life... I love to lick icing!
Friends are the sour cream on the baked potato of life.
Friends are the spice of life! Are you hot or mild?
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends don't let friends drink and drive!
Friends don't let friends drive Vista
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friendship fills up all those little ruts in the road.
Friendship is a rainbow between two people.
Friendship is better than love. It lasts longer.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Friendships will last if they are put first.
Friend: Someone who likes you even after they know you.
Friends share everything: joy, sadness, laughter, tears.
Friends should stick together, like Wesley's pasta - KP
Frigerobics: Leaning, bending, stretching while looking in the fridge. Frightfully nice.
Frog philosophy: Time's fun when you're having flies.
Frogs are smart ... they EAT what bugs them.
FROG: tasty french treat, once you remove the head, torso & tail!
"Frohliche Weihnachten und ein Glueckliches Neues Jahr." - German
"Frohliche Weihnachten und ein Glueckliches Neues Jahr." - German Xmas
From a top purveyor of toxins and edible poison.
From a treehugging, organic, half crazy weed-eater, weirdo herbalist.
From error to error, one discovers the truth - C. Freud

From Florida: Thank you, Charley, for the 11 Billion dollar Blowjob.

From Paper In Shoeboxes to Compact Discs In Shoeboxes.
From superior minds come superior bull.
From the UTGT Bathtub Aquaculture Yabby Farm.
From this strange confusion grows a perverse communication.
From this time forward, you will service... us.
From your lips to God's ear.
Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes: Only sugar has more sugar!
Fruitcake: An inedible form of pastry mainly used as a door stop.
Fruit is pretty honest about when it goes bad.
Fruit only teases my need for chocolate.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. Fundamentalists should be able to legally park in handicapped zones.
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.

)\/(ark

Always Mount a Scratch Monkey

... Help, I've fallen and I can't....Hey, nice carpet!
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