Each day comes just once in a life time.
Each snowflake is different - collect the whole set.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm; but 2nd mouse gets the cheese.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Early to bed and early to rise makes people suspicious.
Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail your friends.
Ears pierced, "While you wait".
Ears, snouts and innards * A homogeneous mass. * Pass another slice.
(Earth explodes) "Damn, I just weather-stripped the patio!"
Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
Earth is a great funhouse without the fun.
Earth is full. Go home.
Ear wax is a terrible thing to taste.
Eat a beaver - Save a tree.
Eat a live toad for breakfast, and nothing worse will happen that day.
Eat an animal rights activist and save a trapper's job.
Eat caribou: 200,000 wolves can't be wrong!
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we diet. - Lewis Henry
Eat fish and build houses of wood, we need the work.
Eat healthy. Exercise. Sleep soundly. Don't smoke. Die anyway!
Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well.
Eating beef gives you cancer. - American Poultry Association.
Eating chicken makes you stupid. - American Beef Association.
Eating pie floaters with dead 'orse is ocker. Dinky di bloody ocker!
Eating pork makes you stupid. - American Beef Association.
Eating words has never given me indigestion. - Winston Churchill
Eat it, dear... pretend it's mud.
Eat *it*? See, I can't even type the word!
Eat more big Macs. Hail Satan.
Eat nothing that will prevent you from eating. - Ibn Tibbon
Eat oatmeal... Turn your brains into mush.
Eat prunes for that "get up and go" feeling!
Eat prune yogurt for that get up and go feeling.
Eat shit and die. Strong memo to follow.
Eat the rich - the poor are tough and stringy.
Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them.
Eat your biscuits like God intended.
Eat your grits like God intended.
Eat your oatmeal like God intended.
Eat your oatmeal! - Wilfred Brimley
Eat your okra like God intended.
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ...
Ebonics was our big chance to end spelling errors.
EchoMail (ek-o-mael), n: A tagline distribution system within FidoNet.
Eddie's one of our prize students - we're giving him away next week.
Edison invents the light bulb; disaster hits the candle-making industry. Education and common sense are the true enemies of marketing.
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices! Education is not the filling of a vessel but the lighting of a fire!
Education: What's left over after you've forgotten the facts.
(eerie music) I am everywhere... (/eerie music)
Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
Eggplant is not edible. Shouldn't be considered food.
Eggs fried in tequila for breakfast after an all night party!
Egg & spam; egg, bacon & spam; egg, bacon, sausage & spam. Ehi,guarda,hoaggiustatolabarraspaziatrice...maporc..
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Electronic mail is so fast you can ignore messages indefinitely.
Electrons are very, very small, but they can gang up and hurt you.
Elegant Frankfurter - A haute dog.
Eliminate all ethics from your diet.
Eliminate government waste, no matter how much it costs.
Elmer Fudd: Wife is wike a box of chocowates
Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
Elvis is dead goddammit.
Email: Meaningful dialogue between consenting strangers.
E-mail: when it absolutely has to get lost at the speed of light.
Emale access - online dating.
E = mc2 + 2 dB
E=MC2 (Energy = Milk and Cookies Too!!)
EMIGRATING: New Zealand's military strategy to conquer Australia.
Empathy is the most revolutionary emotion. - Gloria Steinem
Employ the vernacular.
enclosed you'll find a great big hug, yer gonna kill the smokin' bug! Engineering is the art of making what you want from things you can get. Engineers: often wrong, seldom in doubt.
English, French - We've got to stop pretending to be other countries.
English, French - We've picked the two worst countries to copy.
Enjoy real maple syrup.
Enjoy the hot bits! Eat the seeds and membrane separately.
Enjoy the simple things.
Enough.... is never enough.
Enough with your technobabble!
Enquiring minds couldn't care less!
Enter Serial # ? - What serial number!!!
Entree: Smidgen of Pigeon.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Erection day: oriental girls favorite holiday.
Erronious error. Nothing wrong.
ERROR #0032: KEYBOARD NOT RESPONDING! Use Hammer? [Y/N]
ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: {WHAP!} C:\>
ERROR in MODERATR.EXE, A)bort, R)etry, D)elete Moderator
Error reading left brain. (A)bort, (R)etry,(F)rolic?
Escargot is French for "fat crawling bag of phlegm". - Dave Barry
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Eschew dialect, irregardless.
Eschew obfuscation.
Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
ESPN: The ability to predict the outcome of sporting events.
Espresso yourself.
Essex County: The Banana Belt of the Sun Parlour.
Establish a dialogue, listen to their views, then shoot the bastards.
Et cetera: That which makes people believe you know more than you do.
Ethernet: (n) Something used to catch the Ether Bunny.
Etiquette: Saying "No, thank you," when you want to yell, "GIMME!!!"
Eval Day 1,094,583,217 * I Support Shareware!
Evaluation day #3,251. REGISTER ME YOU CHEAP S.O.B.!
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Eve blamed the serpent who didn't have a leg to stand on.
Even a blind pig stumbles across an acorn now and again.
Even a blind pig stumbles across a truffle now and again.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Even a small star shines in the darkness. -Danish Proverb
Even cats have their own lives; get on with yours
Even Death, itself, fears the Beast. - Lair Saying
Even I don't understand what I just said...
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
even if you're not here to stay, i'm glad the universe let your soul visit
Even instant gratification takes too long.
Even mindless violence seems boring today.
Even Murphy's Law doesn't work all the time.
Even my mouse has big balls.
Even nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Even on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Even sliced VERY thin, baloney is never corned beef.
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
"Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral." - Albran
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the junk food at natural food stores is good for you.
Even the smallest candle burns bright in the darkness.
Even though I'm 55, we can both have a ton of fun being 6 together.
Even though it's a cliche, it's true.
Even though they call it pasta now, it's still spaghetti.
Ever buy a fake Rolex with counterfeit money?
Ever eat a mountain oyster? They taste kinda nutty.
Ever fry an egg with a Hair Dryer?
Ever get the feeling your guardian angel is laughing?
Ever met a HATER doing something better than you? Me either...
Ever notice how ours is the only planet named after dirt?
Ever notice there's no crime at a shooting range?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever think about switching to Decaf?
Ever use anti-mugger spray as a food additive?
Ever use bear spray as a food additive?
Ever use capsaicin-based pain ointment as a food additive?
Ever walk into a Denny's at 3 AM? Looks like the bar in Star Wars!
Ever wonder why the SAME PEOPLE make up ALL the conspiracy theories?
Every 3 seconds a man is verbally abused by a feminist in Canada.
Every 7 minutes.... someone in aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every artist is a cannibal, every poet a thief.
Everybody get outta here! There's a lobster loose!
Everybody lies about bad sex.
Everybody loves a moose; they just don't know it.
Everybody needs some misery in his life, in order to be happy.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Every bride has to learn it's not her wedding but her mother's.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
Every country has the government it deserves.
Every day may not be good but there's something good in every day.
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
Every engineer carries a screwdriver.... just in case.
Every Englishman is classy, every Frenchmen a jerk.
Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else.
Every horse thinks his pack is heaviest.
Every journey is best measured by those you've touched.
Every man dies, but not every man really lives.
Every man is wrong until he cries, and then he is right, instantly.
Every man's memory is his private literature!
Every mighty oak was once a nut that stood it's ground.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Every newborn baby is a little savage.
Every new outfit grows up to be laundry.
Everyone agrees it was a total waste of money.
Everyone becomes disabled - unless they die first.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone has a scheme that won't work.
Everyone has the right to act like an idiot. Some abuse the privilege.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Everyone is a fool for at least five minutes a day.
Everyone is gifted, but some open the package sooner.
Everyone is ignorant... only on different subjects.
Everyone is weird...some of us are proud of it.
EVERYONE is weird... some of us are proud of it.
EVERYONE is weird...some of us are proud of it.
Everyone must believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink. Everyone's defeated the French!
Everyone's using big words and confusing me again!
Everyone's watching YOU now...
Everyone talks about apathy, but no one does anything about it.
Everyone thinks of changing the world not of changing himself
Everyone wants to change the world, no one wants to change himself.
Every path has some puddles.
Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn.
Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn!
Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
Every psychologist is part psycho.
Every saint has a past and every sinner a future - Wilde
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every spam is sacred.
Every sun has a golden lining
Everything can be improved.
Everything comes to he who hustles while he waits.
Everything comes to he who orders stew.
Everything depends. Nothing is always. Everything is sometimes.
Everything, even the corn flakes, is greasy there.
Everything happens for a reason.... to make your life miserable.
Everything has already been said.
Everything has an end but the sausage which has two. -Danish proverb
Everything I cook turns to chili.
EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY.
Everything on land is within walking distance.
Everything put together falls apart.
Everything started life as someone's daydream.
Everything takes just a minute... That's why we have no time.
Everything you know is wrong.
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. - Sophia Loren
Every time a loaf of bread is baked, 150,000,000 yeasts are killed!
Every time I lose weight, It finds me again!
Every time I say the word "Exercise" I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. -Calvin
Every time my world gets interesting, they cut to commercial.
Everyting should be built top-down, except the first time.
Every tradition was once a heresy.
Every try Jewish LSD? Lox, Salami & Danish.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Every war is a national misfortune.
Eve was no prime rib herself.
Evil often triumphs, but never conquers.
Evil? We have more to fear from the bungling of the incompetent.
Evolution is God's way of issuing updates.
Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
Exactly how DO you polish sausage??
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Excellence is never an accident!
Excellent day for drinking heavily. Spike the office water cooler.
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Exceptions rule.
Excess Weinerage - When buns come in 8 pks and franks come in dozens.
Excuse me, but can anyone tell me what's going on here?
Excuse me, but what is wrong with you people?
Excuse me. I have to go take my lungfish for a walk now.
Excuse me while I change into something more formidable.
Excuse me. Your ignorance is showing.
EXCUSES: An invisible car came out of nowhere struck my car & vanished. EXCUSES: A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
EXCUSES: A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
EXCUSES: I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
EXCUSES: In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
EXCUSES: My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. EXCUSES: The other car collided with mine warning of its intent.
EXCUSES: The pedestrian had no idea which way to go so I ran over him.
EXECdb, Maximum Overkill in EXEC-PC File List Management
Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway.
Exercise your right to arm and keep bears!
Experience comes from bad judgment. - Mark Twain.
Experience is directly proportional to ruined equipment.
Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined. Experience is like drawing without an eraser.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is such a good teacher because it's always on the job!
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Experimental vegetarian meals that taste like grass.
Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.
Expert advice is a great comfort, even when it's wrong.
Experts muck it up. Give me an Impert.
Explain counter-clockwise to someone with a digital watch
Explain counter-clockwise to someone with a digital watch.
Explain not. Friends don't expect it, and enemies won't believe it.
Exploding piglets!!! My god, it's raining bacon!
Explosion Rocks Kitchen! Cat claims innocence!
Explosions that destroy the Universe tend to spill your drink.
Expressions that sound dirty but aren't: Frosting the Pastry.
Extinction is the ultimate fate of all species.
Extra Credit: Define the universe. Give 3 examples.
Extra points for her. The committee smiled on her post.
Extra ration for rowers! The captain wants to go water skiing.
Extremely redundant phrases: Criminal Lawyer
Extreme torture with only the promise of a hideous death for comfort!
Eye of newt, toe of a frog, and a side of fries, please.

)\/(ark

Always Mount a Scratch Monkey

... If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.
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