• some taglines - C's

    From Mark Lewis@1:2320/100 to All on Mon Mar 28 08:49:02 2016
    Cable TV prayer: "Dear God, please don't let it be Beast Master!"
    Caffeine is a fundamental part of the geek diet.
    Caffeine makes the world go round.
    Cajun breakfast: blackened toast.
    Cake is merely a vehicle for frosting.
    Calamity strikes and Congress vows to remain in recess.
    California: Land of rays, quakes, and those damned Raisins.
    California: the Granola State. (Lots of fruits, nuts, and flakes.)
    Called "Wiener Wuerstchen", they tasted like hot dogs, only good.
    Calling anything foolproof seems to take a lot for granted.
    Calling a PCBored makes for a Maalox Moment!
    Calling for complex blends of reverse psychology and extreme violence.
    Call it a hunch. - Quasimodo
    Call me mad, will you? You'll see! You'll *ALL* see!!
    Call my cat?! [hehehe] No, I just run the can opener
    Call on God, but row away from the rocks. -Indian proverb
    Call receptionist if you wish your telephone connected.
    Call that special person NOW. Tomorrow may be too late.
    Call the Liberal Hot Line - 1-976-WEL-FARE ($10 per min)
    Call the narcotics squad, 175 pounds of dope just walked in!
    Call this number for illiteracy: 555-READ
    Calm denial in the face of a staggering stack of overwhelming facts.
    Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.
    Calm waters do not mean the crocodile is not present
    Calories are delicious.
    Caltitude: Height cat's back can arch to meet the hand stroking it
    Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.
    Calvin: Filth! Contamination! Pestilence! Ha Ha Ha!
    Calvin: I've changed my mind, Hobbes. People are scum.
    CAMELOT: the place to shop for a used dromedary
    C$A#M*O$U%F@L#A)G@E~D T@A#G$L@I~N$E C**a**m**o**u**f**l**a**g**e*****T**a**g**l*i**n**e*
    Campbell's Snail Stew.. Umm Umm good!
    Canada & America - Separated by a common language!
    Canada: A pack of cigarettes- $8; a heart transplant- just $8.
    CANADA CALLING: Quebec for sale cheap. Must take it all.
    Canada didn't have a civil war to establish a continental nation!
    Canada didn't have a revolution to establish a continental nation!
    Canada: evil socialist gay-marrying drug crazed pacifist evil dominion.
    Canada - home of the largest shopping center in the world.
    Canada is a farm team for the United States.
    Canada is a special foster-child of the US. It's called tough love.
    Canada is not a real country. - Lucien Bouchard
    Canada is so square even the female impersonators are women.
    Canada is the vichyssoise of nations: cold and half-French.
    Canada, land of opportunity for Hong Kong businessmen.
    Canada Post: when it absolutely, positively has to be there - sometime.
    Canada should annex the U.S.A.
    Canada's just a hockey player breeding facility.
    Canada's parliament meets 60 miles SE of Bullies Acre.
    Canada strong & free - from sea to sea to sea!
    Canada: The one place in the world where it's not hip to be French.
    Canada - The Readers Digest version of the United States.
    Canada: the state so clever, it doesn't pay taxes to Washington!
    Canadian Dos prompt: "Like, Insert Disk #1, eh"
    Canadian: I know 3 spices, Salt, Pepper, and Ketchup.
    Canadians can say "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    Canadians do not eat anything with cayenne without serious complaint.
    Canadians don't anything with cayenne... only immigrants.
    Canadians don't have two first names.
    Canadians drank 24,000,000 gallons Kool-Aid summer '95.
    Canadians have no idea what a polecat is.
    Canadians never, ever eat okra.
    Canadians prefer potato au gratin to grits.
    Canadians: say "you guys" not "y'all" even if they're women.
    Canadians: The bland leading the bland.
    Canadians: The *other* Americans.
    Canadians think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
    Canadians think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
    Can anybody think of a good tagline I can steal?
    Canapes: A sandwich that's cut into 24 pieces.
    Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
    Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
    Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
    Can Harrison Ford the river?
    Can I blame my spelling on Line Noise?
    Can I deduct last year's tax as a bad investment?
    Can I get just a little bit of power? -Red Hot Chili Peppers
    Can I have my thorax back? - Dave to zombie
    Can I help it if everyone else is wrong ?
    Can I play with your bellybutton?
    Can I put a head on that for you??? Victor Frankenstein
    Can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?
    Can I tickle your fancy? No? Will you tickle mine?
    Can I use my A.M. Radio.....in the afternoon?
    Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse??
    Canned mackeral: It's a giant sardine and it's real gross. - Neekha
    Cannes, where you lie on the beach and look at the stars, or vice versa. Cannibal #1: "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." #2 "So, try the potatoes." Cannibal: Guy in a restaurant, and orders the waiter.
    Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity.
    Cannibal: Roast beef. Why?
    Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN Eat MOUSE.SYS instead? <Y/N>
    Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN - Eat Mouse? (Y/n)?
    Cannot understand tagline; (A)bort (R)etry (L)augh anyway?
    Can not understand tagline: (A)bort (R)etry (L)augh anywy
    Can one really be ethical through following someone else's rules?
    Can pigs fly? Yeah, just depends how hard you toss'em.
    Can shellfish sue for damages in small CLAMS court?
    Can't clean my desk until they loosen my striaght jacket ;*)
    Can't even talk without someone making taglines of it
    Can't expect to keep them on the farm after they've seen Paris.
    Can this be real? @FN@ is at a loss for words?!
    Can't people just learn to buy their shit from a dealer or something?
    Can't people just learn to buy their stuff from a dealer or something?
    Can't think. Brain is on autopilot today
    Can't Wal-Mart's Tech Support Department help you with this?
    CAN'T whistle at my girlfriend, she leaves me breathless!
    Can vampires use Sun workstations?
    Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
    Can you do the Picard Maneuver in a Grand Am?
    Can you feel anything when I do this?
    Can you get a DUI on the information superhighway?
    Can you get a DWI on the Information Superhighway?
    Can you imagine a roast aardvark without an apple in its mouth?
    Can you name a better party snack than the deviled egg? -Satan
    Can you open your mind without it falling out?
    Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
    Can you say: Tongue planted firmly in cheek???
    Can you sense the sarcasm???
    Can you spot the Loony?
    Can you swim in melted dry ice without getting wet?
    Can you teach an old moderator new tricks?
    Can you teach an old Moderator new tricks?
    Can you teach an old SysOp new tricks>
    Can you teach new dogs old tricks?
    Capitalism. I love it!
    Capitalism is the only basic institution with any genuine vigor.
    Capsicums are veritable whores when it comes to cross pollination.
    Carb mania: Americans would rather shoot heroin than eat a bagel.
    Care for another bottle of champagne, m'dear?
    Care for a shrimp cocktail? No, thanks - I need a BIG one.
    Carefull, we might be landing on your street
    Careful, somebody might want you to share your Barbecued Ribs.
    Caribou Chili Pizza Beta Tester.
    Caring for the wants and needs of the needy and the wanty.
    Car thieves should be used as expendible crash test dummies.
    Cartoon violence made me what I am today.
    Caruso was at first an Italian.
    Cash value of this tagline: 1/20 of 1 cent.
    Casserole is just another word for leftovers.
    Cassoulet, like life itself is not so simple as it seems. - Paula Wolfert Castration?!? Oh my god! I thought he said circumcision!
    Castration takes balls.
    Cast your bread upon the water and it shall come back soggy.
    Cat - 1. Furry keyboard cover. 2. Alarm Clock
    Catacomb: Italian Cat Comb
    Cat: A dog with an attitude problem
    CATALYST n. an alphabetical list of Italian cats
    Cat: a purr-bearing mammal
    Cataract: Pool playing Cat
    Catastrophy: Cat punctuation written on your skin
    Cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath
    Catatonic - Italian beverage most preferred by cats
    Catatonic (n): Geritol for cats
    Cat bumper sticker: Life is hard, then you nap
    CAT: "Cat do this", "Cat do that"; what am I? A dog?
    Catch and release is great for trout - NOT for criminals!
    Catcher: Cat belonging to Mrs. Bono
    CAT.COM started. Computer will furball in five seconds.
    CAT.COM started. Computer will hairball in five seconds
    Cat definition: Door - something to be on the other side of
    Cat Eats Ball of Yarn, Gives Birth to Set of Mittens
    CATFOOD.CAN not found...Eat Logitech mouse? Y/N
    CATFOOD??!!?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??!!??
    Cat Game #6: Fit into the smallest space available
    Cat, get your butt away from the keyb/m kvxcg;fzhd...xc jzske NO CARRIER
    Cat HAIR all over the keyboard. Don't blame me for spelling errors
    Cat #*&hair'`*^~in}{keyboard:<~)_+| #
    CA, the Granola State - What ain't fruits is nutz.
    Catherine Medici invented French cooking, now known as "cuisine".
    Catholic: Can't stop bringing cats home
    Catholic (n.) A cat with a drinking problem
    Cat: I could've SWORN I heard the can opener!
    Cat: If I suck up, my humans will do anything.
    Cat\kat\Small four-legged fur bearing extortionist
    Catlapse: The cat's time between removal from a lap and awakening
    Cat - Lap Warmer with built in vibrator
    Cat magic - the more you pet them, the longer you both live
    Catmas: a religious holiday for felines.
    Cat Motto: Excess is never enough
    Cat: Murphy's way of saying "Nice Furniture!"
    Catnip Research Has Not Kept Pace With Other Sciences
    Cat; n: Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer
    CAT: (n) Walking ego with fur
    Cat-o-holic - addicted to cats
    CAT ON KEYBOARD: Brng fuud prefurably fesh
    Cat philosophy: When in doubt, cop an attitude
    Cat Physics #2: A cat will assume the shape of its container
    Cat: psychotic animal bred for target practice
    Cat purring on my shoulders - the ONLY way to wear fur!
    CatRule#22: Anything moving under the covers is fair Game
    CAT RULE #2: Get plenty of sleep so you can play at 4am
    Cat Rule #2: When in doubt, cop an attitude
    Cat Rule #5: Fit into the smallest space possible
    Cat Rule #72: There's no such thing as a "bad" time for a nap
    Cat rule: Add roughage to human food by shedding in it
    Cats allow man the pleasure of caressing the tiger
    Cats: aloof indifferent uncaring soul-sucking demons.
    Cats always sit on whatever it is you're trying to read
    Cats and Women: no matter what you tell them, they do as they please
    Cats and writers like to hear their own voices
    Cats are 80% water and 20% attitude
    Cats are always on the wrong side of the door
    Cats are crazy,...But just crazy to please you!
    Cats are domesticated, until a paw-operated tin-opener is invented.
    Cats are God's way of telling us we're being watched
    Cats are good lapwarmers for modemers
    Cats are just lazy people with fur and fangs
    Cats are just little bundles of purr
    Cats are like Potatoe Chips. You can't have just one!
    Cats are magical, the more you pet them the longer you both live
    Cats are meant to be loved, not to be understood
    Cats are my shelter from an insane world
    Cats are not dogs! -P.G. Wodehouse
    Cats are not pets, they own the house and let you live there
    Cats aren't threatened if you earn more than they do
    Cats Are PEOPLE Too
    Cats are people too...no, I mean
    Cats are purrfect
    Cats are really trainable, if you let them think they thought of it!
    Cats are Roommates Dogs are Family!
    Cats are roommates, Dogs are kids
    Cats are the only animal to have successfully domesticated man
    Cats are the soul of honesty, hide not their dislikes
    Cats are too cool to beg for food. They WILL charge it on your VISA
    Cats are wonderful - everyone should own one...two...three...four...five... Cats - by Ann Gora
    Cat scan: A hi-tech device for examining cats
    Cats can't read and they don't want you to, either!
    Cats come in many varieties...and every one is divine
    Cats: Companions in grace and beauty and mystery and curiousity
    Cats: companions in grace, beauty, mystery & curiosity
    Cats contribute to living a longer life
    Cats crawl under gates, software under Windows.
    Cats' Credo: They should get laid before they get spayed
    Cats & Dogs are Household Schedulers
    Cats (DO IT) "randomly"--jkb
    Cats donate their services as alarm clocks
    Cats do not have problems expressing affection in public
    Cats do not keep mice away, they preserve them for the chase.
    Cats don't correct your stories
    Cats don't criticize your friends
    Cats do whatever they want, yet still get treated like royalty
    Cats favorite game: "Ha Ha - made you look."
    Cats' favorite game: Hah! Made you look!
    Cats find people fascinating --- they can stare at them for hours
    Cats give us someone to talk to
    Cats! God's gift to mankind
    Cats: Good for dusting high places
    Cats: Great for earmuffs, tiny throw rugs, and slippers
    Cats have fur coats because they look silly in raincoats
    Cats have not forgotten they were once worshipped
    Cats have purr-sonality
    Cats have the simplest of taste - the best will suffice
    Cats instruct us in the luxurious art of stretching
    Cats know all the sunny places
    Cats leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same
    Cat sleeping on my shoulders - the ONLY way to wear fur
    Cats let us induldge our desires to really spoil someone
    Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse
    Cats like "Cat-Naps"--it's the "Cats-Meow!"--jkb
    Cats like "Pro-Cat-Stinating"---it's the "Cats-Meow!"--jkb
    Cats like Serial-Mice for breakfast!
    Cats look at your eyes
    Cats love work; They can sit and watch it for hours
    Cats make even an old worn couch look beautiful
    Cats make keen alarm clocks. At no extra charge.
    Cat: small, four-legged, fur-bearing alien here to observe humanity
    Cats mean it when they kiss you
    Cats must drag the apple peels out of the garbage to play with them.
    Cat's: natures furry love sponges!-LG
    Cats: natures's enviromentally friendly pest controllers
    Cats obsess about you as much as you obsess about them
    Cats often chase things that their person can't see
    Cats often chase things their person can't see
    Cats: often claw your face off to let you know they so very are.
    Cats (on common sense) don't bite the hand that feeds you!--jkb
    Cats only likes me when I run the electric can opener
    Cats own the house --- They just let you live there
    Cats: pets with a purrfect purrsonality
    Cats polished while you wait. Hot wax costs extra.
    Cats polished while you wait. Hot wax extra
    Cats rule and dogs drool! - (5 cats and a Rottweiller in this house)
    Cats rule! (if you think not... ask one!)
    Cats say: a fool and his Cat are soon parted!
    Cats sleep on shelves like motorized bookends
    Cats teach us how to land on our feet
    Cats teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
    Cat's teach us tolerance....and how to see through walls
    Cats - the ultimate stress reliever
    Cats took thousands of years to domesticate humans
    Cat=stress relief, Kitten=Tiny terror Get the VALIUM!!!
    Catsup: Hollandaise sauce for bachelors.
    Cats -vs- girlfriends - A cat loves you until it dies.
    Cats -vs- girlfriends - A cat won't hate you if you have her spayed.
    Cats -ya gotta love em...cause you can't hate them!
    Cat tastes like rabbit but lion tastes like pork.
    Cat: The only self-cleaning appliance in the house
    Cattle without legs: ground beef.
    Cat Toy: Anything not nailed down
    Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen
    Cat with a full-auto M-16: Terror of poodles everywhere!
    "Caught in the Flood" by Noah Zark
    Caught my dog making clay figures with Fi-Doh!
    Caught you reading my taglines again!
    Cauliflower is cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
    Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
    (cause he's a freaking superstar)
    Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
    CAUTION: Do not install prior to installation.
    Caution: Do not operate PC while intoxicated.
    Caution: Incorrigible Punster...don't incorrige!
    Caution! keyboard=CAT XING...printer-CAT BED!!
    Caution: living too long may be fatal.
    CAUTION: Off Medication and Highly Dangerous!
    Caution! Sensitive SYSOP - DO NOT offend !!!! :->
    CAUTION! Sexually Active Area. Protection must be worn at all times
    Caution: SysOp under pressure!
    Caviar Emptor: Let the Fish Beware!
    CAVIAR: Unborn offsprings of dead fish. Yum!!!
    CCCComputer SSSSex CCCCauses FFFFinger SSSStuttering!
    CCITT- Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
    CD-WOM, Wead onwy memowy.
    CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy
    Ceaserean Section: A district in Rome
    Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
    Celebrities - what passes for intellectuals around here.
    Celery farmers play the stalk market.
    Celery is not food. It's a member of the plywood family.
    Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed.
    Celibacy is not hereditary.
    Celibate ! Celibate ! Dance with the virgins !
    Centuries of tradition unimpeded by progress.
    C.E.O. - In charge of Diddly Squat
    Cereal Interface -- A Spoon
    Cereal Interface: Bowl, Milk, Sugar, Spoon.
    Cereal: The joy of Chex.
    Certainly nothing is unnatural that is not physically impossible.
    Certified 100% virgin message. Has NEVER had a tagline
    CFS: Why not? The South is famous for frying everything.
    Chafing Dish: a stretch pants girl whose jeans are too tight
    "Chag Sameach." [Happy Holiday] - Hebrew
    Chag Sameach (Happy Holiday). --Hebrew.
    "Chag Sameach." [Happy Holiday] - Hebrew Christmas
    Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink & still remain beautiful. Champions are rarely chosen from the ranks of the unscarred
    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
    Change my mind? No way, this one is fine, I think
    Change the subject? I thought it was toilet trained!
    Change your mind, it's starting to smell
    Change your thoughts and you change your world
    Channel your imagination into ever-soaring levels of paranoia.
    Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
    Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
    Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
    Character is what you know you are, not what others think you are.
    Charcoal briquettes destroyed by fire - film at 11
    Chardonnay: oak soup.
    Charity begins at home...preferably, at MY home
    Charles Darwin, Harlan Sanders. Harlan Sanders, Charles Darwin.
    Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts."
    Charlie Brown's father was a barber.
    Charlie was a chemist;Charlie is no more;Charlie thought it wasH20, was H2SO4! Charm: getting an answer of yes without asking a clear question.
    Charm is a way of getting a "yes" without having asked a question
    Charm will get you by for 15 minutes, then you gotta know your stuff.
    Charp - The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.
    Charter member, QWKaholics anonymous
    Chaste makes waste.
    Chaste: why you're running
    Chastity can be cured if detected early enough
    Chastity is curable - if detected early
    Chastity is curable, if detected early.
    Chastity is its own punishment.
    Chastity is the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
    CHASTITY: The most unnatural of sexual perversions
    Chat mode is DISABLED during Quantum Leap
    Cheap crap but with colorful packaging you'll think it's fun crap.
    Cheap? Ha.. I'm so cheap I walk all my dates to the drive-in movie <g>
    Cheap HMO: Preventive Care is "an apple a day".
    Cheap HMO: Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
    Cheap Saudi apartments: Call "Low-Rents of Arabia"
    Cheap shot... but it felt good!
    Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
    "Cheating on His Wife", by Izzy Backyet
    Checking reality of @FN@'s message...test failed
    CHECK OUT THIS TAGLINE! Made you look! Made you look!
    Check the dilithium crystals, we got us a cross-echo!
    Check this box if you are an idiot [ ]
    Check type of payment [ ] Visa [ ] Mastercard [X] Check (rubber)
    Check your mind at the door... NONE allowed in this echo! ;*) Cheeriomagnetism: cereal using the buddy system in the milk
    Cheerios are the seeds of the donut tree
    Cheer up Thomas! Have a Happy Christmas, have a drink for me.
    Cheese is a fundamental part of the Greek diet.
    Cheese is always stinky.
    Cheese is an ideal snack food.
    Cheese is giving americans a heart attack.
    Cheese is great.
    Cheese is more than a food.
    Cheese is often found where you least expect it.
    Cheese is perhaps the oldest processed food known to mankind.
    Cheese is senior citizen milk.
    Cheese is the best.
    Cheese is the secret to my success.
    Cheese is what it is.
    Cheese: Milk's leap toward immortality.
    Cheese Whiz is stupid.
    Cheese wuz - an empty jar of Cheese Whiz.
    Cheetah + skunk = problem you can't run away from
    Cheezwiz for brains
    Cheez Wiz is not edible. Shouldn't be considered food.
    Chef: Any cook that can swear with a French accent.
    Chef: come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day.
    Chef Dundee: That's not a tablespoon. _This_ is a tablespoon!
    Chef Mary Poppins: a spoonful of sugar helps the onions go brown.
    Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
    Chemists do it on the bench!
    Chemists don't die, they just stop reacting!
    Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age
    Cherry picker: Finicky vegetarian.
    Chicago Cubs - World Champions 1908...when Baseball was Baseball!
    Chicago has the best politicians money can buy.
    Chicago is a great place to be from... FAR FROM!
    Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
    Chicago: Where the dead still vote...
    Chicken a l'Orange: Kentucky Fried Chicken takes over Orange Julius.
    Chicken breasts: The tofu of the meat world.
    chicken fat is better for you than shrimp or most fish!
    Chicken is food, not a roommate.
    Chicken Little only has to be right once.
    Chicken Little was right.
    Chickens actually have balls.... They're right next to the nuggets.
    Chickens are how eggs make more eggs.
    Chickens just out walking around in the grass, looking pretty clueless. Chicken: The only animal you eat before it's born and after it's dead.
    Chide a friend in private and praise him in public. -Solon
    Chik - a -boom chik - a - boom, dontcha just love it
    Childhood isn't an age, it's a state of mind
    Childhood is short and maturity is forever
    Childhood sometimes does pay a 2nd visit to man; youth never
    Childish game: One at which you cannot beat your spouse.
    Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born
    Children and grandparents are natural allies
    Children are a grandparent's revenge
    Children are not born prejudiced
    Children are our best assets. Teach them well!
    Children are the most common sexually transmitted disease.
    Children are the most expensive form of entertainment.
    Children born in a whore house = Brothel Sprouts
    Children don't sleep ..... they recharge.
    Children of couch potatoes: 'Tater Tots
    Children of couch potatoes: 'Tater Tots.
    Children of lesbian relationships: some guy is gonna end up with 2 MILs! Children spell love...T-I-M-E
    Children: the most common sexually transmitted disease.
    CHILD: Thing that stands between an adult and the TV set
    Chile consumption is not a competitive sport.
    Chile-Head 5 food groups: Fresh, Frozen, Dried, Powdered & Sprayed!
    Chile Heads actually request mail containing dangerous powders.
    Chile Heads don't have to worry about roommates stealing their food.
    Chile heads know what Sexually Transmitted Capsaicin means.
    Chile Head's toilet paper spontaneously combusts after use.
    Chile-heads... we eat chiles for breakfast.
    Chile Sauce - Ketchup with an attitude.
    Chili: a dish made of mostly shredded cattle and spices.
    Chiliburger, huh?
    Chili con Karma: what Casa round, Carne's around.
    Chilies are one of the four basic food groups.
    Chilies.... Thank you, Aztecs!
    Chili is a battlefield on which wars are waged for honor.
    Chili is a religious experience.
    Chili is a spiritual event not a food.
    Chili is needed to fight off the ravages of hunger.
    Chili is not some form of bastardized spaghetti sauce.
    Chili is not that abomination eaten with zeal in Cincinnati.
    Chili isn't a recipe, it is a philosophy.
    Chili is perfect food for football.
    Chili is the ideal bowl food.
    Chili peppers burn my gut! - Side Hackers
    Chili Pizza - East.
    Chili powder makes you crazy.
    Chili: Red stuff, hot, no beans.
    Chili rulez!
    Chili: Stew with a definite attitude!
    Chili, the national food ... Fart, the national odor.
    Chili waffles! Simply fine!
    ChiLLi with two "Ls". It's the law in Illinois..... since 1994!
    China accounts for 20% of the world's population and 5% of its height.
    China has more English speakers than the United States.
    China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. C. De Gaulle
    Chinese food: Next, on Geraldo, and again, one hour later.
    "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire..."
    Chips are only a means of carrying salsa from the bowl to your mouth.
    Chitlins are such offal meat.
    Chivalry: man defending girl against everyone but himself.
    Chizboiger, Chizboiger, Pepsi, Pepsi, Cheep, Cheep!!
    Chocoholic: If found unconscious, administer IV of Hershey's Syrup! ;*) Chocoholic, not exactly, but I do go on binges occasionally!
    Chocoholics Unite! Make Chocolate our national flavoring!
    Chocoholics Unite! Make Chocolate Our National Flavoring!
    Chocolate and <FN>.....my favorite Sweets! ;*)
    C Ho Co La Te = Better living through chemistry!
    Chocolate chip cookies: hazardous waist products
    Chocolate, chocolate, my kingdom for a chocolate
    Chocolate-coat those words. You'll eat them later
    Chocolate has no calories when eaten with friends
    Chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge, and chocolate chips
    Chocolate is a waist additive
    Chocolate is for kids?...I may never grow up! ;*)
    Chocolate is good drugs.
    Chocolate isn't a food, it's a medicine - an anti-depressant!
    Chocolate isn't food, it's medicine - an anti-depressant
    Chocolate is the answer to *all* questions
    Chocolate is the true opiate of the masses.
    Chocolate: It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.
    Chocolate, it's not just for doughnuts anymore
    Chocolate makes me human
    Chocolate makes the world go 'round - and me too!
    Chocolate MILK! What else did you think?
    Chocolate moose: 1 medium size moose, 20 pounds chocolate
    Chocolate not found. (C)ry, (W)himper, (D)ispair?
    CHOCOLATE NOT FOUND - Halt on all errors?
    Chocolate: Not just a job..its an ADVENTURE!
    Chocolate (n.): See Ambrosia
    Chocolate sauce is not the answer for bad cooking
    Chocolate syrup, chocolate sprinkles, a cherry and thou
    Chocolate syrup, chocolate sprinkles, a cherry and thou.
    Chocolate: the *first* food group
    Chocolate the next best thing to... (well you know!)
    Chocolate..... the stuff hips are made of
    Chocolate, Women, coffee - some things are better rich
    Choconiverous: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first
    Choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence." Gandhi
    Choice, not chance, determines destiny!
    Cholesterophobia: Fear of frying.
    Choosey perverts choose GIF!
    Chopped Cabbage; not just a good idea, its the SLAW!
    Chopsticks: You don't sew with a fork so why eat with knitting needles. Christianity: Judaism for Windows.
    Christmas "Bah, Humbug! Don't post 'til next year." - Moderator
    Christmas dinner: a roast bird with unpopular vegetables.
    Christmas is a-coming, and the geese are getting fat.
    Christmas is for making others happy.
    "Christmas or nayah saal mubarak." - Urdu/Pakistan Christmas
    Christmas Shopping At The Local Toxic Waste Disposal Site.
    Christmas tune: . "I Came Upon a Road Kill Deer." .
    Christmas tune: "Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys."
    Chuck's Chili<tm>: Breakfast of...Nah, NOTHING could live through that.
    Chuck's Chili<tm>: Gourmet roadkill with beans.
    "Chu'c mu+`ng Gia'ng Sinh va` na(m mo+'i." - Vietnamese Christmas
    Church: Still Pathetically Wrong About Almost Everything.
    Cigadent - Any accident involving a cigarette
    Cigar, Cigarette, Tiparillo? - Monica Lewinski
    Cigarette: fire at one end, fool at the other, tobacco in between
    Cigarette? No thanks, I'm not into suicide.
    Cigarettes are harmless. The LIGHTERS, on the other hand, are a problem. Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.
    Cigarette smokers suck
    Cinci chili? Cinnamon? This is chili, not apple pie.
    Cinci greek chili: Milder, yet somehow more toxic.
    Cinco de Mayo = victory of Mexicans over French in 1862. Big deal.
    Cindy Crawford and a stick of butter, please
    Cinnamon? This is chili, not apple pie.
    Circle: A line that meets its other end without ending
    Circuit ---/\/\/\/\/\/\/---//--->>> |=|
    Circuit ---/\/\/\/\/\/\/---//--->>> |=| <<< ( /^^^O^^^\ )
    Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
    Citation for slow BBS'ing: Going 1200 in an HST lane.
    Civilization is defined by the presence of cats
    Civilization is the order and freedom promoting cultural activity
    Claiming mental bankruptcy is always an easy option.
    Classic- A book many people praise and few read. -Twain
    Classified tagline. Please enter password: __________
    Classified Tagline-Please Enter Password: ___________
    Cleaned desk and found key board. Now I can answer E-Mail
    Cleanliness is next to impossible.
    Cleanliness is next to soap and water
    Clean mind, clean body: Take your pick.
    Clean your screen!!!! I can't see OUT!
    CLEARASOL - Effective sunspot remover.
    Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking. - Chinese Proverb
    Clear out, or I'll set the cats on you
    Clear your mind...if there's anything there, @FN@!
    Clear your mind of everything in it . . . if there's anything there
    Clear your throat... drink Drano
    Cleavage: something you can approve of and look down on also!
    Cleopatra could make a pharaoh moan.
    Cleopatra: How did these f***ing snakes get on my tits!
    Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
    Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
    Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible And Sane Adult!
    CLEVER PYGMY WOMEN'S TRACK TEAM: A bunch of cunning runts Click...click...click..damn, out of taglines!
    Cling tightly to your ethics...up til you hear your price.
    CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP <BANG> <BANG> CLIP CLOP - Amish Drive by shooting. Clippity-clop, clippity-clop, BLAM! - Amish Drive-By Shooting
    Clothes do not make the man; they improve his appearance when he is made. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little influence on society.
    CLOTHES -vs- WOMEN: You can borrow your friends', and no one minds.
    Cloves smells like real cinnamon only more so. - Neekha.
    Club Seals, not Sandwiches.
    Clues are cheap. Invest.
    COBOL is not dead, it just smells that way.
    Coca-Cola contains neither coca nor cola.
    Cockie Leekie is *not* a urological condition.
    Coconut milk. Young coconuts must love it.
    Coding: An addictive drug.
    Cod tongues? "Won't eat anything out of a fish mouth." "Egg, sir?"
    Coffee: a legal drug addiction with free refills!
    Coffee, chocolate, women. Some things are just better rich.
    Coffee conquers all.
    Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
    Coffee is served as it in in the UK as punishment for not drinking tea.
    Coffee is the breakfast of champions.
    Coffee makes other people seem a lot more interesting.
    Coffee - the drink of the wired generation.
    Coffee: The pharmacological basis of consciousness.
    Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns.)
    Cogito ergo spud - I think, therefore I yam.
    Cogito ergot sum: I hallucinate, therefore I am.
    Cold waves from Canada? Can't we weatherstrip the border?
    Columbus is a sort of Velveetaville in one of those flyover states.
    Combat: Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire.
    Comedy is just a funny way of being serious.
    Come in for a faith lift.
    Come, my lad, and drink some beer. - Samuel Johnson
    Come on baby light my fire...
    Come on! There's plenty of room out here on this limb!
    Comes with all you see here. Batteries not included.
    Comfortable truth isn't.
    Comfortably Numb!
    Coming soon from Microsoft: EDLIN for Windows.
    Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
    Coming soon: The Unauthorized Autobiography....
    Coming to you live from a finite point in the space-time continuum!
    Coming Up: French chef Jacques Cousteau's blackened whale recipe.
    COMMAND.COM not found. Activating random interrupts.
    Command not found. Damn, it was here a minute ago... hold on...
    Committee: Strange life form with 3 or more stomachs and no brain.
    Commit the oldest sins in the newest kind of ways.
    Common_malady = Diarrhea_of_mouth+constipation_of_brain.
    Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.
    Common sense? Me? You should know me better than THAT!
    Communion: you can eat your eat your god and have it too.
    Communism is like one big phone company.
    Communism: You have two cows - Government takes both, gives you the milk. Company Is Going Under: Conference room is turned into chinchilla farm. Compared to Rice Krispies, oatmeal is brain dead!
    Comparing apples and vacuum again, are we?
    Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
    Compatible: Blows up a little later than Incompatible.
    Compile: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter.
    Completely uncontaminated by cheese.
    Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
    CompuCrumb SPUDModem Detected; System hanging up now...
    Computations which yield 0 are probably all for naught.
    Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
    Computer hackers do it all night long.
    Computer Hacker wanted. Must have own axe.
    Computer literacy? My computer's supposed to READ?
    Computer modelers simulate it first.
    Computer not found! Please notify tagline!
    Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
    Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
    Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
    Computer protected by a PIT BULL with AIDS!
    Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
    Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
    Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
    Computers are useless. They only give answers. - Picasso
    Computers can do everything but think. Just like humans.
    Computers run on smoke. They stop when it leaks out.
    Computers -vs- women: Geeks can get computers.
    Computers were invented by Murphy.
    Computing power increases as the square of the cost.
    Conceit is as natural to the human mind as a center is to a circle.
    Concerts are where they ruin all the songs you enjoyed on the radio.
    Condense soup, not books!
    Condom - external storage.
    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
    Confidence is silent. Insecurity is loud.
    Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
    Conform, go crazy, or become an artist.
    Conform, go crazy, or become a writer.
    Confucious say too damn much!
    Confucius say, "Man who live in glass house should dress in basement"
    Confucius say nothing - he dead.
    Confucius Say: To make egg roll, push it.
    "Confucius say too much." - Recent Chinese Proverb
    Confuse People. Quote from the wrong message.
    Confuse people: start making sense.
    Confusion is always the most honest response.
    Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
    Congestion on the roads is called intimacy in night clubs.
    Congratulations!, shake your hand, one less smoker in this land ;*) CONGRATULATIONS! You may already be a WIENER!!
    Congress fighting inflation is like the Mafia fighting crime.
    Congress should simply make all crime illegal!
    CON is the opposite of PRO - i.e. Congress and Progress.
    Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.
    Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
    Conservative: one who'd rather have 9% unemployment than 6% inflation. Conservative Republicans = invasive carbuncle or pest.
    "Conservative thought" is an oxymoron.
    Consistency isn't always good especially if you're consistently wrong. Conspiracy theories are all secret government plots to confuse us.
    Constant tinkering buggers things up.
    Consultant: One who steals your watch to give ya the time.
    Consumers will go crazy over the new European beef products.
    Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
    Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.
    Contents may have settled during shipping.
    Continental people have sex lives - the English have hot-water bottles. Contractions aren't necessary.
    Contributing a splash of clarity and a sprig of wild guess.
    Contrite And Blond And Totally Baffled!
    Conversely, Michael Jackson's lunacy will remain unchecked.
    COOK: 1. Act of preparing food for consumption. 2. Mom's other name.
    Cook a spiritualist. It's rare that a medium is well done!
    Cooking is the most ancient of arts.... Adam was born hungry.
    Cooking tip: Wrap leftover turkey in aluminum foil and throw it out.
    Cooking with wild Fungi does not leave mushroom for error.
    Cook it until a meat thermometer inserted into the breast melts.
    "Cooling Trend Continues" - The Pangaea Times, Dinosaurs
    Coors low-carb beer for dieters who love thin tinny pissy watery beer. Copyrights are for greedy bastards only.
    Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
    Corporations: The Government of the Future.
    Correction does much, but encouragement does more.
    Couch potatoes have brain tubers.
    Couch Potatoes - People into Transcendental Vegetation.
    COUCH POTATO: What Mom finds under cushions after the kids eat dinner.
    Could'a been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now.
    Could we have a sense of scale, here?
    Could you be a little more vague, counselor?
    "Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."
    Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?
    Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.
    Courage: art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death!
    Courage is doing what you are afraid to do.
    Courage is your greatest present need.
    Courage looks you straight in the eye!
    Courage makes everything look different.
    'Course I'm an expert! I have junkmail to prove it.
    Courtesy is Owed; Respect is Earned; Love is Given!--Durwydd Mac Tara
    Courtship is to marriage as a very witty prologue is to a dull play.
    Cous cous? That ain't no damned vegetable.
    Cover yourself in melted butter and carry lemon wedges!
    Cowards are always the first ones to belittle heroism.
    Cowboy Jim's Original Red Hot Gunpowder Chili!
    Cows aren't full of milk; they're mostly hamburger.
    Cows are vegetarians, let us eat beef.
    Cows may come and cows may go, but the BULL in here goes on forever
    C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
    CPU not found. Press F1 for software emulation.
    Crack gangs fill in forms for guns.... Sure.
    Cracklin's.... it's like pig candy.
    Crap: What you'll find in a dyslexic fisherman's cooler.
    Crawfish, Cajuns and beer. Heaven!
    Crawfish, Cajuns, gumbo and Barq's...Heaven on earth!
    Crayons can take you more places than starships. * Guinan
    Crazy Ducks - NutQuackers
    Crazy folks don't know they're crazy. I know I'm crazy so I'm not. That's crazy!
    Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
    Creator - A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
    Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
    Cremation? Think outside the box.
    Cretien, finally a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.- Martin.
    Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
    Crime doesn't pay; neither does farming.
    Crime wouldn't pay if it was operated by the government!
    Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it!
    Criminal lawyer. Isn't that redundant?
    Crispy Creme Donuts are 26% fat, 10% higher than Tim Horton's donuts.
    Critical Error: Sysop/Moderator Not Available. Use QWK Reader Instead?? Critical Error: System Halted. Hit any user to continue.
    Critical mass? When the congregation is made up of agnostics.
    Cross a potato with a sponge; tastes terrible but sure holds gravy.
    Cross posted from: alt.music.country&western.dumb.lyrics.
    Cross posted from: alt.sex.adolescent.dwarves.transvestite.druids.
    Cross-posted from alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork.
    Cross posted to rec.food.fight.
    Crossposting to alt.barbecue and alt.vegan can do no one any good.
    Crossposting to comp.sys.ibm and soc.culture.jewish can do no good.
    Cross the gay mafia and they'll criticize your curtains.
    Crusoe - only one who got everything done by Friday!
    Cry 'BANANA!' and let slip the clowns of war!
    Cry "ham hock" and let slip the hogs of war!
    Cry MALOX! and let slip the chili dogs of war!
    Cry "ribbit" and let slip the frogs of war!
    Cry Up Spirits! and let's sip the grogs of war!
    Cthulhu calls.........COLLECT!
    Cube of cold pinkness, yellow specks of porcine fat; Give me a spork.
    Culinary terrorism.......
    Cult de sac: a sect with no future.
    Cultured individuals don't "fart", they "cough anally."
    Culture is what separates us from the beasts.
    Culture is what your butcher would have if he were a surgeon.
    Cunnilingus is a real tongue twister!
    Cure for postal strikes: mail them their strike pay.
    Cure the disease and kill the patient. - Francis Bacon
    Curiosity didn't kill the cat. I got `em with the mower!
    Curiosity *may* have killed Schrodinger's cat.
    Curiouser and curiouser! - Lewis Carroll
    Curious ideas wait for stranger times.
    Curses! Hayes-ed again!!
    Cursor: An expert in 4-letter words.
    Custer was fitted for an Arrow shirt.
    Cut my pizza into six pieces please. I can't eat eight.
    Cut the size in half. Double the selling price. Voila! Low carb.
    CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK; Taking Inventory at a Bike shop.
    Czechoslovakia ahead a goal to nil - that's a win if it stays that way.


    Always Mount a Scratch Monkey

    ... Barbarians may eat and the civilized may dine, but chowhounds feed.
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