• The Doctor is ##UNTRANSLATABLE##

    From George Pope@1:153/757 to All on Mon Apr 18 10:31:42 2022
    Was listening to a mnix of album cuts of '70s music & '50 & '69s Comedy, & Henny Youngman came on (such a delight, the "King of One-Liners" is!)

    He covered a bunch in a theme (see below; you'll figure it out) & that made me think of still others I've heard over the years. . .

    Add in any you think of that aren't in this bunch, please?

    & let me know how you're feeling, as you scroll down, & at what point you cracked out LOLing.

    I've heard all these before, so I'm too blasé to do more than expel a little extra air outen the side of my mouth & out my nares.

    I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - H.Youngman
    "Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man who wants an appointment; what should I tell him?"

    Tell him I can't see him today.
    "Doctor, Doctor; it hurts when I go like this"
    Stop doing that.
    A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. --H.Youngman
    "Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a bell?"

    Go home and take these and if you're not better soon, give me a ring.
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards."
    I'll deal with you in a minute!
    "Doctor doctor! I think I'm at death's door!"
    Don't worry, we'll soon pull you through
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of wigwams!"
    Ah yes, the issue is you've become too tense.
    "Doctor, doctor! I get heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake."
    Next time take the candles off!
    "Doctor, doctor! I've got broccoli stuck in my ear!"
    Looks like you're not eating properly.
    "Doctor, doctor! Help me - I'm getting shorter and shorter!"
    You'll just have to be a little patient!
    "Doctor, doctor! Every time I drink hot chocolate I get a stabbing pain in my eye."
    Try taking the spoon out first.
    "Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains."
    Oh, pull yourself together!
    "Doctor, doctor! I've lost my memory."
    When did this happen?
    "When did what happen?"
    "Doctor, doctor! People keep ignoring me."
    Next please! [booo, yes, i agree]
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing ringing in my ears."
    Whatever you do, don't answer it! --H.Youngman
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing insects spinning around me!"
    Oh yes, there's a bug going around.
    "Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a moth."
    You don't need a doctor, you need a psychiatrist!
    "I know, but when I was walking past your office I saw your light was on..." -=-
    "Doctor, doctor! You have to help me out..."
    Of course. Which way did you come in?
    "Doctor, doctor! They've taken me off the cricket team, they all call me butterfingers."
    Don't worry, what you have isn't catching.
    "Doctor, doctor! I've broken my arm in two places."
    Don't go to those places then. --H.Youngman
    "Doctor, doctor! I've only got 59 seconds to live!"
    Just hang on a minute, will you?
    "Doctor, doctor! I have a strawberry stuck in my ear."
    Don't worry, I've got cream for that!

    & another guy. . . what can I say? He's got a busy practice, Dr. Biddyboombah does.

    "Doctor, doctor! Will this ointment get rid of these spots?"
    Now, now, let's not make any rash decisions here.
    "Doctor doctor, what happened to that man who fell into the circular saw and had the whole left side of his body cut away?"
    He's all right now.
    "Doctor doctor, my spouse is deathly ill, is there any hope?
    it depends what you are hoping for
    "Doctor, doctor IĈm addicted to brake fluid"
    Nonsense man, you can stop any time
    "Doctor doctor, I couldn't drink my medicine after my bath like you told me."
    why not?
    "Well after I've drunk my bath I haven't got room for the medicine"
    "Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
    Pull yourselves together man.
    "Doctor doctor, I've got acute appendicitis."
    You've got a pretty little dimple too
    "Doctor, doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake."
    Sleep in another room then!
    "Doctor, doctor, can I have second opinion?"
    Of course, come back tomorrow!

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)