• Famous Last Words

    From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jan 23 11:43:46 2022
    FAMOUS LAST WORDS
    "I know good mushrooms when I see them!"

    I was game to try magic mushrooms (shrooms) until I learned that there's a twin mushrom t hat experts have trouble telling which is which & this single mushroom can kill you.. .

    Ah well, no worries. . . I'd've tried peyote, but it don't grow up here (we are the "Magic Mushroom Capital off the World," up in the Haida Gwai islands, which took over from where I grew up)

    "Bungee jumping is perfectly safe. Here, I'll show you."

    Umm, how often do you replace the rubber bands?
    "Every time they break!"
    How often is that?
    "Once per plummeting death on the rocks below, on average."
    I just suddenly remembered a place I need to be. . .
    "We get a lot of that."

    "Is this gun loaded?"

    Take a look into the barrel, buyt you can't be 100% sure unless you pull the trigger & see if a bullet is loaded into the back of the barrel; be sure to pull your eye away quickly, though, so you don't get shot.
    "duhhh-kay"
    [average county IQ goes up]

    "Hah, this curve is easy to drive through."

    True storyt - when a hitchhiuking teen, I got picked up by a guy in a Camaro to go through the Fraser Canyon (filled with hairpin turns overlooking half mile steep cliffs leading down to the rocky shores of a rapidly moving river)

    My buddy & I were in the back seat, perched o the sperakers, as there wass a lot of crap back there, so our heads werre above the windshield.

    This driver went a full buried 120MPH the ebntire way, even the hairpins -- at fitrst I was ready to be constipation free, but then I noted that as he spun around these sharp turns, there was zero squeal of the tires. So I just relaxed & enjoyed the quick trip to our destination on the other siode of the canyon.

    On drop-off, I talked to him, & yup, he was a professional stock car racer & there was no real danger of missing his turns or hitting a semi coming in the other direction, as we passed 3 semis in a row in our lane.

    I went into the washroom at the gas station (just to "bleed the lizard") & looked in the mirror -- I looked like I had the measles (from the road dust flying over he top of the windshield & hitting my face at 120+ MPH.

    Better than any roller coater I've been on & I've been on some of the better ones:
    Montezuma's Revenge at Knott's Berry Farm in LA (60 feet high, 60MPH, & a loop at 60 feet up, where ou felt suspended for a second, completely upside down, looking at the world at an angle nobody should ever sees if not just ejected from a fighter jet, & about to be shot to put you out of your misery & fear.

    & 5 Flags' Magic Mountain (in '83 they boasted longest one in the world)
    The old wooden one (biggest wooden roller coaster in the world) here in Vancouver, at Playland.

    Those all hold you in with a big rolker bar -- I had no such big soft bar to hold me down/in in that Camaro -- the speaker put me up too high to even use the seatbelts!

    Good times, but I lived, so a win, definitely.

    "What does 'Reactor-Overload imminent' mean?"

    Irt means run fast af out that way, or don't -- you won't make it before the kaboom anyhow. . .

    "Don't worry, you missed that plane by a mile."

    I'm with Carli about yhe term "near miss" -- it's a "near collision"

    "BAM!" <-- that's a near miss!

    "So, do you think the gorilla is sleeping or dead?"

    Pull a Steve Irwin & poke him in the eye with a sharp stick, & find out; I got the camera rolling. . .
    go aghead, it'll be funny.

    "You dare me?"

    Sure, why not? Double dog dare you, even!

    "I think there's a world market for about 5 computers."
    Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board, IBM (around 1948)

    *eventual total world market. . . :D

    Crazy. . . & 640Kb [of RAM] is enough for anybody -- S.Gates, who then produced DOS 4.1 that loaded 597kb of help files into RAM! (I owned that one)

    "The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
    Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

    Either way, if he starts running, I'm a-followin'. . .

    "This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it. He's doomed."

    Chuck was the 400+th plus person to flu solo across the Atlantic, but he got all the press, cuz of the kidnapping & they made that movie that made him in to a [falsely based] American icon. . . Hee wasn't even the first American to do it!

    Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

    oooo, am "enthusiast". . let me sit at your feet, sir, & jeer your wisdom. I mean "hear". . .
    [30 minutes later]
    Oh, sorry, I was right the fitst time. . .Jeeze, you're stupid!

    "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
    Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,
    (five days before the Crash of 1929)

    Well, they certainly didn't go any higher that decade!

    "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

    True. . now JETS, there's some military value, but only if you can get some stupid bright-eyed patriotic 18yos to risk their lives in dog fights against superior machines & poilots. . .

    "Patreiotism is rthe mechanism by which rich old people get y oung people tofight & die to protect their gold." (said by some ancient Roman philosopher -
    - some 2K+ years later. . no change)

    "God himself could not sink this ship."
    Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

    But water could. . .& did. . .

    "Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
    advances."

    That might have been a statement on man's laziness & disinterest in going to a big roundish hunk of dry rock. . but then the Generals' Council(whaever it's called) realized this could get extra research funding in play to develop tecxhnologies to make better weapons. . .& so it was done.

    Plus. . .f*** the Soviets with big steel phallic objects loaded with explosive materials.

    "Everything that can be invented has been invented."
    Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Patent Office, 1899.

    Give or take. . . He mnust've just finished reading through Bennie Franklin's list of acciomplishments. Skip Edison -- he just put his name on others' inventions. . .

    Too bad Tesla didnt get due credit for his genius, insteasd the military took it & ghave it all to GE. Some was just destroyed (like getting free electricity with a small backyard device that collected aMBIENT ELECTRICITY FROM THE ATMOSPHERE. That was't compatible with making millions & billions by
    mining & burning oil & coal for electricity that can be billed at hundreds of times over cost. . .

    "Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

    "bye-bye, Lardass" (BJ in one of the Smokey movies of the '80s)

    'And for the tourist who really wants to get away
    from it all - safaris in Vietnam' - Newsweek predicting
    popular holidays for the late 1960's

    uhhhh. . .little problem with that -- the tourism wasn't voluntary & you had to go through Boot Camp first. . .

    I've met many Viet Nam vets over the years -- they still have "the look" of anyone who has taken a walk through Hell. Buddy of mine produces Section-8 housing for hundreds of them. . .

    'ALL THE PASSENGERS ARE SAFE' - Lancashire Evening Post
    headline on their report of the Titanic sinking.

    i.e. "It was witnessed that a bunch of rich people wqerew loaded into lifeboats -- we stopped filming as they began shooting the poor who tried to get into them.

    'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
    Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

    well, partly right: GOOD TV didn't last. :'(

    Luckily I can still find a few goodies on the weekends here, like: Gomer Pyle, Pfc
    Green Acres
    Hogan's Heros
    All in the Family
    & others I only spot watch when nothing else on

    'The Beatles? They're on the wane' - the Duke of Edinburgh
    in Canada 1965. They went on to produce five albums and
    eleven singles, most of which got to number One.

    I wasn;t such a thrilled fan -- they were okay, but not what I was into -- even the Rolling Stones were better. KISS has a higher ratio of recordings vs top ten hits.

    'Radio has no future' - Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society,
    1890-5.

    Shoulda said that in 1951.
    & again 30 years later with MTV+"Video Killed the Radio Star"

    'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
    President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

    Pop him into a basic fully loaded 747. . . Make him sit in a window seat.

    'X-Rays will prove to be a hoax'-Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal
    Society, 1890-5.

    X-Rays, as understood then, never existed.

    "About this 'Liberty or Death' business, Mr. Henry. Isn't there some reasonable position in between?"

    A faier rebuttal.

    Apparently being born on a particular patch of soil on this planet makes you beholden to willing to defend it with your life if necessary. (shyeah, right! I save that attitude/wilingness for my wife & kids alone)

    And being born with a penis means if you're on the Titanic, you have to wait to get onto a life saving ilfeboat until ALL women & children are loaded (except the poor; f*** the poor, they're not people -- just parasites /s)

    I'll do that anyway, but not because it's a societal norm -- only because I've done the math, & their lives are of more absolute objective value than my own & I'm a man who is all about fairness.

    &, hey, if I do mamage, by the grace of God, to survive, I'll be a hero to women everywhere, & I canm ake a good living dfoing the ytalk show cirtcuit alonefrom then on in & drink free in any bar in the English speaking world!

    I'm fair. . .AND practical

    Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files. It's syncing right now.

    My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink No one listened but he kept warning them until people got sick of him and threw him out of the cinema.

    Q: What do the Titanic and the Sixth sense have in common? A: Icy dead people ("I see dead people")

    I'm gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo

    Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? A: About halfway.

    The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
    that was an ice-olated incident.

    Iceberg!! Iceberg!! We're in a titanic pickle here But lettuce romaine calm, help will turnip soon

    I renamed my phone "The Titanic"
    Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: ˘The Titanic is syncing÷

    Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic
    Except Leo


    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)