• Computer Failure Haikus

    From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jan 12 15:33:50 2022
    In Japan, they have replaced the
    impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
    messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
    poetry has strict construction and
    inscrutable rules.
    Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
    five syllables in the first line, seven in
    the second, five in the third.
    Haiku are used to communicate timeless
    messages, often evoking powerful insight
    through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.
    Your file was so big.
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.
    [...]

    Nice collection!

    Evokes some not so nice memories of Windoze past & present. . .

    Haiku is such a fun little format. . .

    I need a tune to sing them to, so I can write some death defing Grammy-winning lyrics! Then I'll need someone who can sing!

    I mostly stick with parodies, like this one with hats off & apologies to Earth, Wind, & Fire:

    Do you rememnber
    The thirty-first day of November
    Your sergeant we both did dismember And buried the pieces so deep
    and far. . .

    More to go; I might just submit it to the Horror Zine once done.

    Haiku. . .

    I wrote a haiku...
    Well, really, more like a pun,
    Leaving. A ˘bye-ku÷

    Most Haikus make sense,
    This haiku probably won't,
    Refrigerator.

    Japan's emporer.
    Deposed atop mount fuji.
    That was a high coup.

    When baby delights,
    and pitch of voice increases
    We call this high coo.

    Q: What's a Japanese-American poet's favourite pickuyp line? A: Haiku-ti

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Thu Jan 13 01:13:00 2022
    George,


    Nice collection!

    Evokes some not so nice memories of Windoze past & present. . .

    Haiku is such a fun little format. . .

    Or, it's a greeting when you meet Koo...Hi, Koo. <G>

    I need a tune to sing them to, so I can write some death defying Grammy-winning lyrics! Then I'll need someone who can sing!

    This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
    going to have to give up singing. <G>

    On another note, I'm having major issues with the BBS NOT busying
    out the nodes on the doorgames. I've sent a note to digital man (aka
    Rob Swindell) to find out what I might be overlooking. If a user is
    online, and accesses a door during maintenance, it'll crash the door
    and the system. I can't always be up at 12 midnight to "manually down
    the nodes" to keep users offline while the doors are updated for the
    daily maintenance.

    But, if worse comes to worse, I'll just remove all the doors from
    the BBS...then I have to wonder is there any point of keeping it
    online at all?? I hate to waste the doors I've registered over the
    last 32 years...and right now, only you and I seem to be the "active"
    users.

    While removing the doors would make it easier to move the system
    to Windows 11, I use the laptop for ham radio traffic nets, and I
    can't afford a new CPU...especially since the State Of Arkansas is
    threatening to remove my Low Medicare Funding Beneficiary status.
    If I have to pay nearly $200 a month for the Medicare premium, I'm
    going to have to sell my car.

    Needless to say, I'm not a very happy camper right now.

    Daryl

    ... C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files. ^^^oo^^^
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jan 14 10:20:52 2022
    Haiku is such a fun little format. . .
    Or, it's a greeting when you meet Koo...Hi, Koo. <G>

    Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!

    This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
    going to have to give up singing. <G>

    Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!

    On another note, I'm having major issues with the BBS NOT busying
    out the nodes on the doorgames. I've sent a note to digital man (aka
    Rob Swindell) to find out what I might be overlooking. If a user is
    online, and accesses a door during maintenance, it'll crash the door
    and the system. I can't always be up at 12 midnight to "manually down
    the nodes" to keep users offline while the doors are updated for the
    daily maintenance.

    Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)

    But, if worse comes to worse, I'll just remove all the doors from
    the BBS...then I have to wonder is there any point of keeping it
    online at all?? I hate to waste the doors I've registered over the
    last 32 years...and right now, only you and I seem to be the "active"
    users.

    Hey, we count, too!

    Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of concept! :D

    While removing the doors would make it easier to move the system
    to Windows 11, I use the laptop for ham radio traffic nets, and I
    can't afford a new CPU...especially since the State Of Arkansas is threatening to remove my Low Medicare Funding Beneficiary status.
    If I have to pay nearly $200 a month for the Medicare premium, I'm
    going to have to sell my car.
    Needless to say, I'm not a very happy camper right now.

    Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are forcing it onto us ?

    I keep as much stuff running to be incompatible with the latest spyware (realtime human logins, when deemed warranted) they attack me with, as I can, & it works well -- I can tell by what crashes & when/why when it's external factorsa triggerinig it. . . I'm on to the bastards! I've told them, & attempted a dialogue, but nope. . . They tried to re-mark my message(a deleted TXT file) to them as unread after they undeleted & read it, then redeleted, but
    I anticipated that.

    They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .

    I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well maybe ISI*, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)

    Walruses, or walri?

    Q: Why did the Walrus bachelor go to the tupperware party? A: He was looking for a tight seal.

    You can always trust a walrus to keep your secrets... His lips are sealed.

    Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples? A: Tuskany.

    My pet walrus yells at fat animals
    He's hippo critical

    Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.

    Dad-Joked By A Word Document

    So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.

    I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--

    And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Sat Jan 15 21:30:00 2022
    George,

    Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!

    Better than a duck billed platypus. <G>

    This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
    going to have to give up singing. <G>

    Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!

    Don't sing in the shower, because if you fall, the paramedics will
    see you naked. <G>

    Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during
    maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)

    I've tried that...the program gives an error, and quits the file.

    Hey, we count, too!

    Plus, I use the BBS as a diversion from all the stress in my life.

    Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of concept! :D

    I'm not worried about new users...many logon a few times, and quit.
    Except for updating the ham radio and weather data on the BBS, I have
    not done anything with it for a few days. When your eyes start burning
    from fatigue, you've sat at the computer too long...never mind your
    butt falling asleep (or if you hear it snoring <G>).

    Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are
    forcing it onto us ?

    First, you have that right. Microsoft and so many others refuse to
    believe in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...never mind what's good
    for someone else may not be good for me.

    Second, the only reason I upgraded was because of security fixes.
    Otherwise, I was happy with XP.

    Most folks today have the idea that they have to "keep up with the
    Jones's", and always have "the latest and greatest thing".

    I keep as much stuff running to be incompatible with the latest spyware
    (realtime human logins, when deemed warranted) they attack me with, as
    I can, & it works well -- I can tell by what crashes & when/why when
    it's external factorsa triggerinig it. . . I'm on to the bastards!
    I've told them, & attempted a dialogue, but nope. . . They tried to re-mark my message(a deleted TXT file) to them as unread after they undeleted & read it, then redeleted, but I anticipated that.

    I've rarely had a problem with twits, although there was a (now former) Sysop, who would not provide his data. In all the time I've run a BBS,
    from starting on a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100 laptop, to a DOS then a
    Windows system, I've NEVER had a law enforcement subpeona...and I plan to
    keep it that way.

    They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only
    their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .

    At least their IP is shown up at connect, and in the log. However, I have blocked those with a [no name] IP. Before my wife died, even she did NOT
    see the confidential user data...that's how strictly I guarded it...and
    still do.

    I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well maybe ISIS, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)

    Or as the truckers say..."enemy or enema...either way, you're in trouble".

    Q: Why did the Walrus bachelor go to the tupperware party? A: He was looking for a tight seal.

    Better use them teeth to carve out one. <G>

    You can always trust a walrus to keep your secrets... His lips are
    sealed.

    You don't want to piss off one of them, either.

    Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples?
    A: Tuskany.

    Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

    My pet walrus yells at fat animals
    He's hippo critical

    Sounds like all the politicians...fat with power, criticizing others, and it's "Rules For Thee, But Not For Me".

    Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.

    Notice that they are trying to buy the people with free stuff, so they
    can get the votes to stay in power??

    And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

    Just like they do.

    Daryl

    ... Deja Tue: When you have a feeling yesterday was Monday.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jan 16 10:08:20 2022
    George,
    Koo koo ka choo; No... _I_ am the walrus!
    Better than a duck billed platypus. <G>

    You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!

    This life of wine, women, and song, is getting me down. I guess I'm
    going to have to give up singing. <G>
    Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, my friend!
    Don't sing in the shower, because if you fall, the paramedics will
    see you naked. <G>

    As if I care -- they're doing the equal sex thing now & I've seen acouplecurties, who, upon seeing my 300+ lb self, paralyzed, upstairs, call for backup & let the big guys get me downstairs safely (they have achair that they
    'walk' down the stairs with me in it then onto the stretcher - I can usually stand enough for that transfer.

    Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an ambvulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

    Can't you set up the BBS to refuse anyone to be online during
    maintemnance times? (00h00 for the doors, & 02h00 for Fido?)
    I've tried that...the program gives an error, and quits the file.

    DOS was better, eh?This kind of thing was typically built into the OS.

    All the ones I was on had an event at midnight(BBS time) and at 02h00 UTC(regardless of DST)

    Hey, we count, too!
    Plus, I use the BBS as a diversion from all the stress in my life.

    Don't we all? Isn't that part of wjy we got hooked on this activity in the first place?

    Others will come. You have built it. They will come. I'm proof of
    concept! :D
    I'm not worried about new users...many logon a few times, and quit.

    Younguns we don't need. . . :P

    Why move to Windows 11, besides the fact Microsoft & the DOD are
    forcing it onto us ?
    First, you have that right. Microsoft and so many others refuse to
    believe in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...never mind what's good
    for someone else may not be good for me.

    I figured this out when I realized all my computing needs could fit onto a single floppy disk -- Windows takes up a Gb or jmore now -- if _I'm_ not using those extra Megs, then who IS?? & WTH, mnan, fleep off of MY computer! When you go buy a computer then you can have carte blanche to play on it alone. . .

    I paid for mine, in full, so it's mine, free & clear & I prefer if only I use it. . . & maybe authorised persons in person (not virtually, in general)

    Second, the only reason I upgraded was because of security fixes.
    Otherwise, I was happy with XP.

    Same; well, my XP PC died, & the new(free) one had Vista. . . AAUUGGHHH!

    Then I got up to 8.1 & was quite content to stay there forever, even if they wwere saying I needed seciurity stuff, so I turned off updatyes u ntil I chose to install them one by one, bnu they forced an update to 10 one night while I was asleep! Then Ui checked my settings -- yup, no updates, & hoped that was the enbd, noope -- a wewek later it's Windows 10b(or some such) & I asgain checked everuwhere, even BIOS, & all was off for updates, then they boosted me to Win11 -- man, they must think I have every secret on my computer or find them in my travels -- I do,. but not via or on my computer!

    They must think I'm very stupid.

    Oh, sorry, thinking's not in their job description.

    Most folks today have the idea that they have to "keep up with the
    Jones's", and always have "the latest and greatest thing".

    Yh, then we, too,. can join the Jones in bankruptcy. . .

    Pass.

    I've rarely had a problem with twits, although there was a (now former) Sysop, who would not provide his data. In all the time I've run a BBS,
    from starting on a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100 laptop, to a DOS then a Windows system, I've NEVER had a law enforcement subpeona...and I plan to keep it that way.

    So he was a visitor who didn't complete user reg properly? Couldn't you just refuse him entry until hedoes? Can'tyou do that across the board? ("fulfill these steps, or get no access to speak of"?)

    Subpoena against him or from him?

    They wereclever, I expected that -- they copied first & opened only
    their copy, but little do they know, this does still leave markers. . .
    At least their IP is shown up at connect, and in the log. However, I have blocked those with a [no name] IP. Before my wife died, even she did NOT
    see the confidential user data...that's how strictly I guarded it...and
    still do.

    I'm not running a connect-in system -- this is just me on my personal computer, trying to enjoy life. . .

    Ay tine I'm responsible for privacy, I, too,. take it fully seriously.

    My wife has learned to accept I have limits on what I'll discuss regarding my work.

    I'm not doing anything, I'm no enemy of the state (of any state, well
    maybe ISIS, but that's out of my range at this time to take on. . .)
    Or as the truckers say..."enemy or enema...either way, you're in trouble".

    Yup, I wouldn't think it's only truckers who see it that way. . .

    Q: What is the most popular honeymoon destination for walrus couples?
    A: Tuskany.
    Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

    The walrus version of Wham Bam, Thank ye, Maam?

    My pet walrus yells at fat animals
    He's hippo critical
    Sounds like all the politicians...fat with power, criticizing others, and it's "Rules For Thee, But Not For Me".

    That's the politician, as a species, yup. . .& lawyers are just the larval form for a politician.

    Q: what's the difference between a dead skunk on the road & adead politician on the road?
    A: Skid marks in front of the skunk

    Witnesses heard, for the skunk "rrrrrr, thup-thup, rrrrrr" dofor the pol: "rrrr, thup-thup, screech, rrr, thup-thup, screech, rrr,. thup- thup, rrrr"

    Q: What's Donald Trump's spirit animal? A: A Wall-rus.
    Notice that they are trying to buy the people with free stuff, so they
    can get the votes to stay in power??

    Makes no bnevermind to me -- I carefguly note what they do when not election season, & I talk to them regularly,. to keep uyp with their state of mind, attitudes, & priorities.

    Come election day, I'm boting based on acual longterm iontel,. not jusdt wehat they p[resent for me to see (I don't even look at that, unless it costs a lot of money, for little gain, then it's negatuive points)

    Q: What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor?? A: An Optical Aleutian

    Q: What is the opposite of a croissant? A: A happy uncle.

    My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

    Q: Why wasnĂt Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope A: Because they didnĂt want a Pope Sicola

    A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

    Q: What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from? A: Electile dysfunction

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Sun Jan 16 19:16:00 2022
    George,

    You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht
    in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind
    leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!

    Didn't know about the poison leg spur.

    Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
    ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

    There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
    have been run over by a steamroller. <G>


    Same; well, my XP PC died, & the new(free) one had Vista. . .

    The Windows Vista7Up Virus renders all legacy programs useless. I saw a tagline the other day that noted "This virus requires Microsoft 3.1 to run".

    They must think I'm very stupid.

    Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

    So he was a visitor who didn't complete user reg properly? Couldn't you just refuse him entry until hedoes? Can'tyou do that across the board? ("fulfill these steps, or get no access to speak of"?)

    You'd think a Sysop would know better...this guy must've been paranoid.

    Subpoena against him or from him?

    Never had a subpeona on the BBS, and it's my goal to not ever get one. I
    have had a jury duty summons and a jury trial subpeona, but none were BBS related.

    Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! <G>

    The walrus version of Wham Bam, Thank ye, Maam?

    Basically. Or like the horny hare...you was doing that to every female
    rabbit he could "Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!". Well, he was so blinded
    by his sex drive, that he saw this rabbit statue, and it became "Wham, Bam!! Ahhh!! Damn!!" <G>

    That's the politician, as a species, yup. . .& lawyers are just the
    larval form for a politician.

    Yep.

    Q: what's the difference between a dead skunk on the road & adead politician on the road? A: Skid marks in front of the skunk

    Lawyers on a cruise in shark infested waters don't have to worry about
    being eaten if they fall overboard. The sharks put them back on board
    unharmed, as a professional courtesy.

    Q: What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor?? A: An Optical
    Aleutian

    Baringly, I can Sea that from the Fair Banks side of the water. <G>

    Q: What is the opposite of a croissant? A: A happy uncle.

    Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
    I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

    My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw
    it coming from a kilometer away.

    We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

    Q: Why wasn't Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope A: Because they
    didn't want a Pope Sicola.

    He didn't want a Royal Crown, either (never mind an RC and a moonpie).

    A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

    Sounds like the Burma Shave deal:

    Beard on face, bald on top.
    Wish I could, rotate the crop.
    Burma Shave.

    Q: What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from? A: Electile dysfunction

    They'll have a hard time explaining that one to voters...unless they're feeling peckerish. :P

    Daryl

    ... A Stud Muffin at 50 -- there's more muffin than stud. -Chondra Pierce
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jan 17 08:35:46 2022
    George,
    You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht
    in your general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind
    leg spur & poison you with the venom in it!
    Didn't know about the poison leg spur.

    We amuse AND we educate, all for thew very low price of wahtever we're charging your credit card monthly (you really should regularly scan your hard drive for hidden records of your banking details)

    You'll find our fees listed as from "Services Rendered Uninc."

    Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
    ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!
    There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
    have been run over by a steamroller. <G>

    & the wahmbulance that comes when you've been whining (or whinging, but not wining or winning)

    *vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"

    The Windows Vista7Up Virus renders all legacy programs useless. I saw a tagline the other day that noted "This virus requires Microsoft 3.1 to run".

    Yup; I used to get my emnail & newsghroups via a DOS-like menu at a freeserve(generic, no TM; **** "TM" when the term existed priorly & is a generic term) & was amnusing to get an email that looked unlike my usal replies/correspondence, look at it & see nothing but code (high ASCII), scroll down until Iu see a recognizable charactyer string (usually the virus de jour); if from a friend's real email, I'll reply, putting random crap into the first couple lines to render the virus non-executable & warn my mate to run a good virus scan after updating virus definitions. . .

    Generally got 1-3 a week or more when one virus was particularly rampant on PCs of my generation.

    I've only had email hacks, done at the server level, & I've taken care of the fallout on my own PC & for those I correspond with. . .

    I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics scan daily on all RW drives, too.

    non-RW drives ares canned when unknown/new media is inserted. The Cyberpope does NOT spread worms

    They must think I'm very stupid.
    Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

    Who says I do?

    Basically. Or like the horny hare...you was doing that to every female
    rabbit he could "Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!". Well, he was so blinded
    by his sex drive, that he saw this rabbit statue, and it became "Wham, Bam!! Ahhh!! Damn!!" <G>

    A rabbit escaped the testing lab & hopped full speed to freedom -- out towards the green fields distant.

    Upon arrival he met a creature who looked like him, but didn't smell like the others in the lab.

    "I'm Peter--no jokes, please--I live here; I don't recgnize you; where you from?"

    "I'm EXP-1H-547-2021," replied our escapee friend, "I just escaped from that laboratory distant; I want to experienmce life as a normal wild rabbit; will you help me?"

    Peter sat up, "You don't say! That name's a nmouthful; I'm just going to call you Expy. Sure, follow me; right now I'm just enjoying the new shoots of dandelions, clover, & grass, hidden amongst these old ones"

    They had fun eating for a half hour, then Peter said, "Time to head inside the warrebn, my friend, & do what nature demands."

    They go into the warren(network of tunnels the local rabbits call home) & proceed to breed a dozen doe-bunnies each.

    After this, the now-tired Espy, begsa off & says he nmust return to the lab.

    "Whast the hell, dude?" exclaimed Peter, "I thought you were enjoying the freedom, the foodm, the comradarie, & especially the bunny boinking, why are you going back to the cages?"

    "Because I'm dying for a f***ing cigarette!"

    Baringly, I can Sea that from the Fair Banks side of the water. <G>

    Nice!

    Q: How did the newlywed Eskimo girl instruct her new husband? A: in... you et (Inuit)

    Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
    I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

    How can they know, when the baby's not old enoug to talk & TELL them?! /s

    My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw
    it coming from a kilometer away.
    We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

    This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do Imperial, too)

    didn't want a Pope Sicola.
    He didn't want a Royal Crown, either (never mind an RC and a moonpie).

    I like Crown Royal (12year blended rye whiskey), & we had RC Cola in the '70s until Pepsi bought it up here & killed the brand (it was my fave pop by far, as 1 in 5 were winners, but I won more like 2-3 in 6!)

    ... A Stud Muffin at 50 -- there's more muffin than stud. -Chondra Pierce

    At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.

    A real man loves her no less at 48. . .

    My fave quote from "Married With Children"

    Bud(son): Why don't you try dating my teacher? Al Bundy: How old is she?
    B: 40.
    A: That's ooolldd!
    B: But, Dad, YOU are 40!
    Al: That's right, son; & there'll be time enough for 40 year old women when I'm 60!

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Tue Jan 18 09:24:00 2022
    George,

    You'll find our fees listed as from "Services Rendered Uninc."

    Every business has that now.

    Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
    ambulance -- it's a pain in the benchwarmer!
    There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you
    have been run over by a steamroller. <G>

    & the wahmbulance that comes when you've been whining (or whinging, but not wining or winning)

    Sounds like what the liberals today are.

    *vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"

    Better get that diaper changed <g,d,r>

    Yup; I used to get my emnail & newsghroups via a DOS-like menu at a

    Tha late Nancy Backus, who lost her battle to stomach cancer last year,
    was a prolific user in the FIDONet echoes...but she used a DOS application
    for her QWK Mail right up to the very end. I never got to meet her, but the fondest memory I have of her was that when I posted the tagline "I took an
    IQ test, and the results were negative"...she replied "That explains a lot <g,d,r>". Later, she said she hoped I wasn't offended by that...and I said
    "I actually got a good laugh out of it". She is sorely missed.

    Generally got 1-3 a week or more when one virus was particularly
    rampant on PCs of my generation.

    I don't think I've ever been hit by one...now, I probably just jinxed
    myself. :P But, I just updated the latest version of IObit Malware Fighter yesterday...it has an anti-virus, bit defender anti-virus, anti-malware,
    and anti-ransomware data engine.

    I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics
    scan daily on all RW drives, too.

    My IObit programs (as long as the yearly registration is current) do the updates automatically, and I also have it set for real time protection and scanning. There have been a few false positives, but that has been rare.

    Cyberpope does NOT spread worms

    Unless they're in your stool. :P

    Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

    Who says I do?

    At least you and I aren't trying to "keep up with the Jones's".

    "Because I'm dying for a f***ing cigarette!"

    A different kind of "smokin'". <G?

    Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
    I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

    How can they know, when the baby's not old enoug to talk & TELL them?!

    It's like the one of the guy who was given a present of this bird who
    spoke 10 languages. He told the giver it was delicious...and when the
    giver told him that, the guy replied "He didn't say a word about that to
    me". <G>

    This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do Imperial, too).

    And yet, amateur radio and meteorology use metric...in the band names (wavelengths) and temperatures. The HF bands are defined from 10 meters
    on down to 160 meters...the VHF bands and 6 meters, 2 meters, and 1.25 meters...and the UHF bands are 70 centimeters on up.

    In weather, temperatures are in Celsius, pressures are in millbars or hectopascals, and likely several others that escape me right now.

    Or, you could be like the guy who had this on his wall in winter.

    0
    B.A.
    B.S.
    J.D.

    It was known as three degrees below zero. <G>

    I like Crown Royal (12year blended rye whiskey), & we had RC Cola in
    the '70s until Pepsi bought it up here & killed the brand (it was my
    fave pop by far, as 1 in 5 were winners, but I won more like 2-3 in 6!)

    I hardly ever see RC Cola or 7-up anymore.

    At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.

    A real man loves her no less at 48. . .

    They say age shouldn't matter...to me, it does if you're into pedophilia. There are too many perverts and sex offenders nowadays (and one thought
    that Sodom and Gomorrah were bad).

    My fave quote from "Married With Children"

    A friend of mine watched that...I never cared for it.

    Daryl

    ... "I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury." -Groucho
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jan 19 16:40:48 2022
    *vocalizing* "wah-ahhh wahhh-ah wah-ahhh"
    Better get that diaper changed <g,d,r>

    My diaper is fine; speak to whomever I was quoting there. . . rtgw big NeoLiberal(likely, or some such) crybaby; I'm not "Conservative" (or "Republican"); I'm just grounded in reality(a reality that includes God & the moral laws He has given us)

    [viruses]
    I don't think I've ever been hit by one...now, I probably just jinxed
    myself. :P But, I just updated the latest version of IObit Malware Fighter yesterday...it has an anti-virus, bit defender anti-virus, anti-malware,
    and anti-ransomware data engine.

    Hopefully it's up to the task of the self-jinx you just called in on yourself!

    I update definitions daily (some are that new) & run full heuristics
    scan daily on all RW drives, too.
    My IObit programs (as long as the yearly registration is current) do the updates automatically, and I also have it set for real time protection and scanning. There have been a few false positives, but that has been rare.

    Ditto with anything I'm using -- if it won't update automatically, every night at 01h30, I don't need it.

    Cyberpope does NOT spread worms
    Unless they're in your stool. :P

    Even so, I wouldn't spread them -- the butterknife stays in the silverware drawer, & stool goes for a forced swim. . .

    Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.
    Who says I do?
    At least you and I aren't trying to "keep up with the Jones's".

    Why would I? I don't work for them!

    This is why DC is so scared of Canadians; we speak two languages & we
    understand metric well enough to use iutr daily! (& most of us can do
    Imperial, too).
    And yet, amateur radio and meteorology use metric...in the band names (wavelengths) and temperatures. The HF bands are defined from 10 meters
    on down to 160 meters...the VHF bands and 6 meters, 2 meters, and 1.25 meters...and the UHF bands are 70 centimeters on up.
    In weather, temperatures are in Celsius, pressures are in millbars or hectopascals, and likely several others that escape me right now.
    Or, you could be like the guy who had this on his wall in winter.

    Yup, but the laws of stadards & measures are Imperial based (MPH, gallons, etc; milk in pints & quarts; cream in cups(or half-pints?) or pints. . .

    In weather, your rain is reported in inches (kind of a big unit when often you're measuring 0.01/inch, which doesn't translate well to 1/16s. . .

    I hardly ever see RC Cola or 7-up anymore.

    Odd, as it's the South that made RC so big. . .

    & do you see Sprite, or you're too close to Atlanta to see anything but Coke?

    At 18, she was pure cheesecake; at 48, she was more like sour cream.
    A real man loves her no less at 48. . .
    They say age shouldn't matter...to me, it does if you're into pedophilia.

    I say, within the interactions of consenting adults, age doesn't matter.

    There are too many perverts and sex offenders nowadays (and one thought
    that Sodom and Gomorrah were bad).

    It was & so is our generation. It'd be simpler if people could wait until marriage, as you have to be an adult to get married.

    My adult step-daughter wanmts her mom & me to evaluate any future wooers, because she knows we've lived a long time(longer than her) & know the red flags that she has no clue about. . . (or might not see if she's "blinded by love"-- she's beyond the age of being hormonally messed up by recent puberty)

    My fave quote from "Married With Children"
    A friend of mine watched that...I never cared for it.

    Like the farmer said, after drinking directly from the goat's teat, "It's all a matter of personal taste."

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Thu Jan 20 01:08:00 2022
    George,

    My diaper is fine; speak to whomever I was quoting there. . . rtgw big NeoLiberal(likely, or some such) crybaby; I'm not "Conservative" (or "Republican"); I'm just grounded in reality(a reality that includes God
    & the moral laws He has given us)

    Too bad a certain political party voted Him out of their platform. As
    for the diaper...it "DEPENDS". <G>

    Hopefully it's up to the task of the self-jinx you just called in on yourself!

    It's like "The Sysop's Curse". When the Sysop goes off on vacation,
    their BBS develops "separation anxiety", and crashes 5 minutes after
    the Sysop has left the premises.

    Ditto with anything I'm using -- if it won't update automatically,
    every night at 01h30, I don't need it.

    I figured out the nightly maintenance glitch, so I was able to put
    several doors back online that were removed just days earlier. I also
    have added several IGMs to the local LORD II game, and sent you several messages in there. It was DIFFICULT to get that Armor and Weapon of KCD
    from Springfang's Lair.

    Even so, I wouldn't spread them -- the butterknife stays in the
    silverware drawer, & stool goes for a forced swim. . .

    I had to order some "toilet hats" to collect a stool sample to
    be sent off...but the Post Office lost the thing...or they threw
    it out.

    Why would I? I don't work for them!

    Just like the stores wanting us to use the self checkout lanes.
    It'd be my luck, that I have 1 carton of a dozen eggs, but I'm
    not allowed to go through express checkout, as I have more than
    10 items. <G>

    Yup, but the laws of stadards & measures are Imperial based (MPH,
    gallons, etc; milk in pints & quarts; cream in cups(or half-pints?) or pints. . .

    And, we like our Imperial measurements. My late Mom had said when she
    was in high school in the 40's, they were saying "the metric system
    will be here before we know it". Yeah...we know how THAT turned out.
    That's like saying "we should support the metric system every inch of
    the way". <G>

    In weather, your rain is reported in inches (kind of a big unit when
    often you're measuring 0.01/inch, which doesn't translate well to
    1/16s. . .

    And, your plastic raingage can be different than an automated one,
    or like the one used by the National Weather Service, or at airports.

    Odd, as it's the South that made RC so big. . .

    There was a song years ago called "Junk Food Junkie". During the
    day, the guy was Mr. Natural...health food all the way. But, after
    dark he broke out "a bag of Fritos corn chips, Doctor Pepper, and
    an old moon pie". Then he sat back "in glorious expectation of a
    genuine junk food high".

    & do you see Sprite, or you're too close to Atlanta to see anything but Coke?

    Is Ocracoke Island where you can get Coca-Cola with your okra?? <G>

    It was & so is our generation. It'd be simpler if people could wait
    until marriage, as you have to be an adult to get married.

    It's true that "true love waits".

    My adult step-daughter wanmts her mom & me to evaluate any future
    wooers, because she knows we've lived a long time(longer than her) &
    know the red flags that she has no clue about. . . (or might not see if she's "blinded by love"-- she's beyond the age of being hormonally
    messed up by recent puberty).

    I filled out an "application to date my daughter", and gave it to my
    in-laws before I married their daughter. <G>

    Like the farmer said, after drinking directly from the goat's teat,
    "It's all a matter of personal taste."

    Just nipple that one in the bud. <G>

    Did you ever get your QWK Mail working?? If so, I can send you a
    bunch of punny taglines...although they may be in the QWK Mail Files
    area on the BBS already.

    Daryl

    ... I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)