• who's here?

    From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to All on Tue Aug 31 11:22:18 2021
    Seriously? Nobody else likes funny these days who's a past/present BBS/Fido nerd/geek?

    What's your favourite joke? pun? anecdote? quotation? scener from a movie or
    tv show? One of each?

    Jump on in; make this echo hopping again (it used to be -- seriously --
    1,000+ posts /month!)

    Some chatting is okay (bvi, if you've followed Daryl & me at all) but each post/reply MUYST have funny content.

    Sometimes easily added via an ObJoke(s) or ObPun(s) at the ebnd, if not contained within.


    Thank member emiritus Greg 'ICEMan' Sears for that term. . .

    He & I had long chats, mostly about his flirting with a gal just north of
    him, & meflirting with the sysop. . . :D Good times. . .

    Lewt's makeit good again & put the FUN back in FUNny Jokes and Stories. . .

    Shyness gets you nowhere in life, & even less far in Fidonet. . .

    ok. . .what's funny today?

    A science group(the University of Hertfordshire and the British Association
    for the Advancement of Science) did a study & found thisd to be the funniest joke in the world at tht time:

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The
    guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

    I've always liked it, too. . . a little misunderstanding can happen. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Sep 1 21:29:00 2021
    Some chatting is okay (bvi, if you've followed Daryl & me at all) but
    each post/reply MUYST have funny content.

    I'm finally back in here, after a hub change. I had forgotten to change
    the main AKA, so Internet Rex got constipated, and I had to give it an
    enema. More than likely, my head was so far up my butt that I could see
    my throat...and what's why my eyes are so brown. <G>

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them
    falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just
    take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line.
    He says: “OK, now what?”

    They got their hunting license from a Cracker Jack box.

    Daryl

    ... To air is human. Be sure you're standing down wind.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Sep 2 06:30:00 2021
    I'm finally back in here, after a hub change. I had forgotten to change the main AKA, so Internet Rex got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. More than likely, my head was so far up my butt that I could see
    my throat...and what's why my eyes are so brown. <G>

    Glad to see you again! Rectal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome(RCIS) is nothing to joke about -- look how many politiciuans suffer from it daily. . .

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes
    have
    rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is
    a
    silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the
    line.
    He says: “OK, now what?”

    They got their hunting license from a Cracker Jack box.

    Remember Cracker Jacks? I'm guessing they're illegal now, like Kinder Eggs.
    :P

    Because parents are too afraid of little Johnny & Janie to tell them not to
    eat the non-food items they find in a candy package.

    But here's a shiny new Hello Kitty AK47 for your 5th birthday. Do you love me NOW?

    Parenting isn't a game -- it's a very serious responsibility & obligation.

    Now the only thing left of Cracker Jacks is that idiom. . .

    Although, I have seen ancient(age unknown) boxes in one of my local dollar stores; I'm afraid to buy one & try it. . .

    & the ever required ObJokes:

    Q: Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box)
    A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

    Q: What do call a KKK member that steals your car right in front of you?
    A: A cracker jack.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Thu Sep 2 10:30:00 2021
    George,

    Glad to see you again! Rectal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome(RCIS) is
    nothing to joke about -- look how many politicians suffer from it
    daily. . .

    Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". <G>
    But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
    I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
    I just posted a bit ago. <G>

    Remember Cracker Jacks? I'm guessing they're illegal now, like Kinder Eggs. :P

    This cancel culture has gotten ridiculous. What's next?? Prohibiting
    belching and farting in public??

    Parenting isn't a game -- it's a very serious responsibility &
    obligation.

    Exactly. So many seem to think pregnancy is a side effect from having
    sexual intercourse. What do you think the act was designed for??!! HELLO??!!

    Now the only thing left of Cracker Jacks is that idiom. . .

    Although, I have seen ancient(age unknown) boxes in one of my local
    dollar stores; I'm afraid to buy one & try it. . .

    The caramel would give my dentures fits.

    Daryl

    ... Sex is a misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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  • From Richard Miles@1:3634/24 to George Pope on Thu Sep 2 19:17:54 2021
    On 02 Sep 2021, George Pope said the following...

    Remember Cracker Jacks? I'm guessing they're illegal now, like Kinder Eggs. :P

    You can actually still find them in some grocery stores. Fresh, too. I love Cracker Jacks.

    Q: Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack
    box) A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

    Heh. Had to use that dad joke in my family chat. That's a good one.

    -=>Richard Miles<=-
    -=>Captain Obvious<=-
    -=>bbs.shadowscope.com<=-

    ... 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Hmmmm...

    --- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/08/19 (Windows/32)
    * Origin: Shadowscope BBS | bbs.shadowscope.com | Temple, GA (1:3634/24)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Sep 3 09:12:04 2021
    Glad to see you again! Rectal-Cranial Inversion Syndrome(RCIS) is nothing to joke about -- look how many politicians suffer from it daily. . .

    Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". <G> But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
    I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
    I just posted a bit ago. <G>

    Or it makes your blue eyes brown?

    Not to me? This is the oldest of the ones from uyou to me in here. . .

    Do share. . .

    Remember Cracker Jacks? I'm guessing they're illegal now, like Kinder Eggs. :P

    This cancel culture has gotten ridiculous. What's next?? Prohibiting belching and farting in public??

    Good luck on that one! I'm agreeable with the banning of expectorating (horking) in public. . that's nasty, & nmastier to step in & even worse to wheel through for a guy(or gal) in a manual wheelchair who then gets it on their hands!

    I can swallow anything that comes up when I cough -- it came from my body it can darn well go back into it! (unless I have pneumonia, then it goes into a tissue, cuz those bacteria are not wanted!)

    Pneumonia was a shocker -- never had it til aged 48 or so, then 5 times in
    the one year! (not fun--I resumed my occasional pots of Rhino Soup & that helped)

    Parenting isn't a game -- it's a very serious responsibility & obligation.

    Exactly. So many seem to think pregnancy is a side effect from having sexual intercourse. What do you think the act was designed for??!!
    HELLO??!!

    Exactly; Where's the "surprise" from?

    On "Roseanne," Darlene asks her mom, "What's a surprise?" & Roseanne replied, "Go ask your brother!" (younger bro)

    I was asked for counsel from a teen girl in NJ about playtime with her boyfriend & how to best avoid pregnancy (as her parental units would kill
    her); I pointed out how God & Nature designed f*cking to make babies (I udsed the crudity to sink into her skull quickest -- it works great for know- everything teens when an old person uses Gratuitous Intensives like that.

    She'd reply with, "but what if we use. . ." & I said "F*cking Makes Babies"
    as many timnes as needed until she clued in. I further explained that even
    the very best method, other than abstinence, has a percentage rate of error (2-10%)

    I told her if she REALLY must share intimacy with her one-love-for-life, use imagination & just completely avoid anytyhing designed to make a baby.

    Pill? Is she okay with a 3% chance of getting preggers & dying at the hands
    of her parents? (apparently that was too high a risk! Good -- my point was getting in there)

    I don't believe one mnust avoid ALL intimacy in all cases. Sexual pleasure
    is a great gift; to discard a gift or shelve it for ten years "just because"
    is insulting to the Giver. Life is a gift, too, so don't allow addiction to sex to interfere with thoroughly living life. . . :)

    Although, I have seen ancient(age unknown) boxes in one of my local dollar stores; I'm afraid to buy one & try it. . .

    The caramel would give my dentures fits.

    Wouldn't do much for my myriad filings either, so it stays there, unbought by me. . . :)

    I was never a big fan. The "prizes" weren't exactly. A little drawing f a tricycle is not a fleeping "prize," in any world, people!

    I was actually hoping for one of those driving licenses I'd heard were in there!

    Q: What do you call pneumonia that’s been around for a while
    A: Oldmonia

    My doctor asked me, “Have you ever struggled with pneumonia before?”
    Me: Yes doc, once before.

    Doctor: When?

    Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

    Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween
    She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and then went back home.

    Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

    I am so proud of her. She is 6.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Richard Miles on Fri Sep 3 09:27:51 2021
    You can actually still find them in some grocery stores. Fresh, too. I
    love
    Cracker Jacks.

    Not here; only in one dopllar store, likely stale, & my filings wouldn't like them, I'm sure. I'd rather go to this popcorn specialty shop in the mall &
    get a 2gal bag of kettle corn (half caramel, half spicy cheese) to share with the family. . .

    Q: Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box) A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

    Heh. Had to use that dad joke in my family chat. That's a good one.

    Are you the dad, or you're paying homage to yours?

    Dad Jokes are the greatest part of being a dad. . um, oh yeah, the kids, too, sure. . . *LOL*

    ObPuns:

    Q: Why did the caramel enthusiast get upset?
    A: No Riesen.

    Q: What's a Cop's favorite kind of latte?
    A: Assaulted Caramel.

    Q: What do you cvall a traveling group of sweets in the desert?
    A: A caramel caravan

    from a dad:
    Q: When Bruce Springsteen went to a Polynesian restaurant and was served blue tang baked in a delicious lightly caramelized sauce, what song did he write about it?

    A: Dory Glaze

    After throwing a Caramilk bar at someone, sing:
    You've been hit by;
    You've been struck by. . .

    A smooth caramel!

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Richard Miles on Sun Sep 5 08:42:05 2021
    I am the dad and grandad although I like to think I can keep up with my father's jokes.

    Only 'bad' jokes to those who can't grasp them. . .

    A good pun is its own reword!


    ... Acid absorbs 10 times its weight in excess reality.

    Never got to try the real thing. . . I was born just as the culture was
    phasing out(latter '60s; I don't recall the '60s literally because I wasn't there for most of them, but I wish I had been!); missed the free love of the '70s, too, for beiung too young to participate (spent most of the '70s in one elementary school)

    I enjoyed the hell out of the '80s, though, & then good music took a dive, &
    it wasn't so great after. . . *sigh* I've spent years collecting vinyl LPs of the good music (pretty much 1967-1986); I've got over 2,000 LPs in a wallful
    of IKEA record shelves. . . I don't play them, of course, even though I have
    a nice end table turntable, because I'd like to keep them in decent condition as long as possible. . . I am always so happy to find a good YouTube copy of
    a full album.

    Got Accuradio playing Clasic Rock album cuts (not just the hits, but deeper into the albums, too) as I'm replying here. . . nice flashbacks to when music was actually "a harmonious interplay of notes"

    Some Ritchie Blackmore(as Rainbow) just finishing as I'm drinking my first super coffee of the morning, before going out on errands. . .

    I tried to catch up in the '80s to the bygone era time & place, but it likely was nowhere near the same. Availability was not an issue, as my home town
    was the hub for all drug movement for the west half of Canada.

    Always good music in the background, though, as it was for those in '67 in Frisco & Woodstock. . . Avoid the brown acid, of course. . .we were warned..
    .

    Q: Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?
    A: He felt it was a real tripping hazard.

    If you take LSD by accident listen to some dubstep, bass will neutralize the acid

    Q: What do you get if you combine LSD with the BCP?
    A: A trip without the kids.

    Dang, wish I could post this pic I just got:

    An arnm tattoo of Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons, in multiple, surrounding a mosaic-type colorful fractal:
    A Nelson mandala. . .

    Getting it as a tatt -- that's what I call committed to puns!


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Ron Lauzon@1:275/89 to George Pope on Sun Sep 5 14:38:00 2021
    George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

    Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". <G> But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
    I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
    I just posted a bit ago. <G>

    Or it makes your blue eyes brown?

    I thought the song was "Donuts make my brown eyes blue..." Probably after a binge weekend and stepping on the scale Monday morning.


    ... Excuse me if I sound bitter....I taste that way too
    === MultiMail/Linux v0.52
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Fri Sep 3 21:00:00 2021
    George,

    Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". <G> But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
    I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
    I just posted a bit ago. <G>

    The small thing that causes the most grief...think of being without
    Viagra when it's time to get romantic. :P

    Or it makes your blue eyes brown?

    I don't recall that one. The only ones I know are:

    1) Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue?
    2) Beautiful, Beautiful Brown Eyes.

    This cancel culture has gotten ridiculous. What's next?? Prohibiting belching and farting in public??

    Good luck on that one! I'm agreeable with the banning of expectorating (horking) in public. . that's nasty, & nmastier to step in & even
    worse to wheel through for a guy(or gal) in a manual wheelchair who
    then gets it on their hands!

    <urk!>

    I can swallow anything that comes up when I cough -- it came from my
    body it can darn well go back into it! (unless I have pneumonia, then
    it goes into a tissue, cuz those bacteria are not wanted!)

    Support bacteria...it's the only culture some people have. :P

    Pneumonia was a shocker -- never had it til aged 48 or so, then 5 times
    in the one year! (not fun--I resumed my occasional pots of Rhino Soup & that helped)

    Last month, I got a TDaP (tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping cough)), and a prevnar (pneumonia) shot. I got 2 shingles shots last year, along with a flu shot. This year, I got 2 COVID-19 shots, and will get the
    flu shot sometime this month.

    I was stuck at home today, as the carbon monoxide and smoke detectors
    with the ADT alarm system, crapped out, with constant beeping. So, that
    meant no nap. They came by and replaced both of them, so I can get some
    sleep tonight.

    Parenting isn't a game -- it's a very serious responsibility & obligation.

    I was asked for counsel from a teen girl in NJ about playtime with her boyfriend & how to best avoid pregnancy (as her parental units would
    kill her); I pointed out how God & Nature designed f*cking to make
    babies (I udsed the crudity to sink into her skull quickest -- it works great for know- everything teens when an old person uses Gratuitous Intensives like that.

    Yeah, it's the only thing they understand.

    She'd reply with, "but what if we use. . ." & I said "F*cking Makes Babies" as many timnes as needed until she clued in. I further
    explained that even the very best method, other than abstinence, has a percentage rate of error (2-10%)

    I think there are some who think you can get pregnant by osmosis.

    I told her if she REALLY must share intimacy with her
    one-love-for-life, use imagination & just completely avoid anytyhing designed to make a baby.

    I think of the joke where the father and son are walking in the park,
    and they spot this male dog humping a bitch (female dog). The little boy
    asks "Daddy!! Daddy!! What are they doing??". He tells his son truthfully, "Son, they're making a puppy!!".

    The little boy was satisfied with the explanation, but Daddy was so
    afraid that when they got home, and Momma asked how their day was, he
    was going to tell them that. Well, amazingly, their son didn't say a
    word. After dinner, he went to bed when he was supposed to, and shortly thereafter, Daddy went to bed with Momma. As, it turned out, Momma was
    in a romantic mood. <G>

    So, they started getting frisky, and the noisy wakes their son. They
    forgot to close and lock their bedroom door, and their son discovers
    their lovemaking...startling them, wanting to know what they are doing.

    Daddy calmly says, "Son, we're making a baby".

    To which, the little boy says "Well, turn her over Dad!! I want a
    puppy!!" <BG>

    Pill? Is she okay with a 3% chance of getting preggers & dying at the hands of her parents? (apparently that was too high a risk! Good -- my point was getting in there).

    At least the reality sunk in.

    I don't believe one mnust avoid ALL intimacy in all cases. Sexual pleasure is a great gift; to discard a gift or shelve it for ten years "just because" is insulting to the Giver. Life is a gift, too, so
    don't allow addiction to sex to interfere with thoroughly living life.
    . . :)

    It is so true that "true love waits". My wife didn't want kids...and after
    I was hospitalized for a week, and kept away from college and work for two months, due to severe chicken pox that almost went into encephalitis 41
    years ago...then working around, and absorbing nasty solvents in silkscreen printing (methyl-ethyl-ketone) for almost 20 years...she noted "they would
    not spay me...so, he volunteered to get neutered". We still had an excellent romantic life, and because we were virgins when we got married, there was
    no threat of STD's (most of those have no cure).

    When I came back to work after the honeymoon, one of the employees, who
    was living with this girl, and had already had a kid with her...asked me
    if I was still a virgin. I looked at him dead in the eye, and growled "I'm married....what do you think??!!". When I told my boss, I thought he was
    going to spit his teeth out of his mouth!! <BG>

    Q: What do you call pneumonia that’s been around for a while
    A: Oldmonia

    Really.

    My doctor asked me, “Have you ever struggled with pneumonia before?”
    Me: Yes doc, once before.

    Doctor: When?

    Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

    Again, really.

    Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween
    She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and then went back home.

    Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

    I am so proud of her. She is 6.

    Gag!! :P

    Daryl

    ... I got gas for 99 cents today...but it was from Taco Bell.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From Richard Miles@1:3634/24 to George Pope on Fri Sep 3 16:54:06 2021
    On 03 Sep 2021, George Pope said the following...

    Are you the dad, or you're paying homage to yours?

    I am the dad and grandad although I like to think I can keep up with my father's jokes.

    Dad Jokes are the greatest part of being a dad. . um, oh yeah, the kids, too, sure. . . *LOL*

    Yep.

    -=>Richard Miles<=-
    -=>Captain Obvious<=-
    -=>bbs.shadowscope.com<=-

    ... Acid absorbs 10 times its weight in excess reality.

    --- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/08/19 (Windows/32)
    * Origin: Shadowscope BBS | bbs.shadowscope.com | Temple, GA (1:3634/24)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Ron Lauzon on Mon Sep 6 15:04:58 2021
    I thought the song was "Donuts make my brown eyes blue..." Probably after
    a
    binge weekend and stepping on the scale Monday morning.

    That'll do it!

    My eyes are hazel, so I couldn't truly get into the song. . .

    I've had my own Mondegreens, like the one that got everyone:

    Break op'n like a douche
    in the middle of the night

    (Rev up like a deuce, actually, by Manfred Mann, in "Blinded By the Light")

    I like:

    Lucy's in a fight with Linus. . .


    ObPuns to follow:

    I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
    It’s my jingle bell rock.

    Q: What do you call a laptop that can sing?
    A: A Dell.

    I asked my friend Sam to sing me a song about my iPhone.
    And then Samsung.

    Q: What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?
    A: Mount Rushmore

    Q: Why do fish always sing off key ?
    A: You can’t tuna fish

    I thought I would never be able to sing along with other person
    But, in the end, I was able to duet.

    I can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs...
    I think I've got the crooner virus.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Sep 6 15:22:10 2021
    Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??".

    But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
    I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
    I just posted a bit ago. <G>

    The small thing that causes the most grief...think of being without
    Viagra when it's time to get romantic. :P

    Never a need for Viagra. . . unless you want to make a baby you'll be too old to care for, let alone live long enough to see graduate?

    Last month, I got a TDaP (tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping cough)), and a prevnar (pneumonia) shot. I got 2 shingles shots last year, along with a flu shot. This year, I got 2 COVID-19 shots, and will get the flu shot sometime this month.

    Weren't you supposed to get the TDaP in grade school long ago?

    I was stuck at home today, as the carbon monoxide and smoke detectors
    with the ADT alarm system, crapped out, with constant beeping. So, that meant no nap. They came by and replaced both of them, so I can get some sleep tonight.

    Hopefully you did; lost sleep is precious. . . I nap when needed, without shame, eveb. . .

    > GP> boyfriend & how to best avoid pregnancy (as her parental units would
    kill her); I pointed out how God & Nature designed f*cking to make babies (I udsed the crudity to sink into her skull quickest -- it
    works
    great for know- everything teens when an old person uses Gratuitous Intensives like that.

    Yeah, it's the only thing they understand.

    It helped.


    I think there are some who think you can get pregnant by osmosis.

    Yup. . . there is an old belief that men & women sharing a hot tub can lead
    to pregnancy. . .

    I think of the joke where the father and son are walking in the park,
    and they spot this male dog humping a bitch (female dog). The little boy asks "Daddy!! Daddy!! What are they doing??". He tells his son truthfully, "Son, they're making a puppy!!".

    That's an old labour term: f*cking the dog, meaning wasting time instead of doing yuour job.

    My dad used to sy it as "making puppies" just for laughs. . . (he was a guard in a prison work camp -- not much chance of offending anyone with so-called
    bad language!)


    Pill? Is she okay with a 3% chance of getting preggers & dying at the hands of her parents? (apparently that was too high a risk! Good --
    my
    point was getting in there).

    At least the reality sunk in.

    yup; I felt it was important it do so. . . she was not maturee enough or
    reafy to be a parent, & I expect the boyfriend, off doing his own thing while she's struggling with such a difficult issue, wouldn't be much readier. . .


    It is so true that "true love waits". My wife didn't want kids...and

    More than one sense of waiting, was my point. . .

    Eoither way, if two parynjmers can't ahree on such a thing, I'd strongly recommend they are not ready for marriage, because one is blatantly ignoreing some thing iportant to the other.

    If only one is religious, I refer them to "do not become unevenly yoked" (whichj merans more than just Believer & non, it also suggests that a paper &
    a milionaire won't make a stable marriage either, nor a teen & a geezer.

    printing (methyl-ethyl-ketone) for almost 20 years...she noted "they would not spay me...so, he volunteered to get neutered". We still had an
    excellent
    romantic life, and because we were virgins when we got married, there was
    no threat of STD's (most of those have no cure).

    Of course you culd enjoy romance -- neutering doesn't change that. Now if
    you also got gelded, you might have trouble in just one department. . .

    No reason your wife should have to suffer though!

    When I came back to work after the honeymoon, one of the employees, who was living with this girl, and had already had a kid with her...asked me
    if I was still a virgin. I looked at him dead in the eye, and growled "I'm married....what do you think??!!". When I told my boss, I thought he was going to spit his teeth out of his mouth!! <BG>

    I think your coworker was just being smnarky, suggesting you're so overly religiuos tyou won't even do "the deed" when married. . .

    Good answer, though; pointing out you know what's what, whilemaking it seem
    he doesn't. . . :D

    I believe as the Good Book says, that forbidding marriage is an abomination.

    Q: What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
    A: Unix.

    Here's one from old Rome, in the 4th century AD:

    A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife.
    When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked: "So is she your daughter?"




    Q: What do you call pneumonia that’s been around for a while
    A: Oldmonia

    Really.

    My doctor asked me, “Have you ever struggled with pneumonia before?” Me: Yes doc, once before.

    Doctor: When?

    Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

    Again, really.

    Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween
    She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year.
    I
    told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy
    costume
    and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house
    and
    then went back home.

    Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

    I am so proud of her. She is 6.

    Gag!! :P

    Daryl

    ... I got gas for 99 cents today...but it was from Taco Bell.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
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    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Mon Sep 6 23:13:00 2021
    George,

    Never a need for Viagra. . . unless you want to make a baby you'll be
    too old to care for, let alone live long enough to see graduate?

    This is true.

    Weren't you supposed to get the TDaP in grade school long ago?

    If I did, I don't remember getting it.

    Hopefully you did; lost sleep is precious. . . I nap when needed,
    without shame, eveb. . .

    Sleep and I have a loving relationship. But, N. Somnia, and L. Armclock
    are trying to break us up...the jealous whores!! <BG>

    Yup. . . there is an old belief that men & women sharing a hot tub can lead to pregnancy. . .

    "Oh, bother!" said Pooh, as he threw away his sex education manual. <G>

    That's an old labour term: f*cking the dog, meaning wasting time
    instead of doing yuour job.

    And, too many folks do that nowadays. I was born and raised that "the
    man is the breadwinner". However, when my body said "you're not going to
    do this anymore", I didn't have a choice. Now, with being diagnosed with
    atrial flutter, and hospitalized twice in the last month, it really is a
    game changer. And, if I become diabetic (type 2), that'll really muck
    things up.

    My dad used to sy it as "making puppies" just for laughs. . . (he was a guard in a prison work camp -- not much chance of offending anyone with so-called bad language!)

    Sort of like the medical professionals...they've seen it all. Yet, I
    know folks who don't want to go to the doctor, clinic, hospital, as they
    don't want to be seen naked. It's just another day at work for them.

    yup; I felt it was important it do so. . . she was not maturee enough
    or reafy to be a parent, & I expect the boyfriend, off doing his own
    thing while she's struggling with such a difficult issue, wouldn't be
    much readier. . .

    It was. The fact of the matter is when a guy has sex with a girl, it automatically makes him "the father".

    More than one sense of waiting, was my point. . .

    She joked "we have a son...a dachshund". And, a male dachshund is truly
    an S.O.B. -- and he acts like one, too. <G> I'm surprised with the comic
    strip "Crabby Road", that Maxine (I Love My Attitude Problem) didn't have
    a dachshund. They are stubborn, and want to do things THEIR WAY.

    Eoither way, if two parynjmers can't ahree on such a thing, I'd
    strongly recommend they are not ready for marriage, because one is blatantly ignoreing some thing iportant to the other.

    I've heard some say that "they're getting married just so they can
    have sex legally"...and I tell them "you're getting married for the
    wrong reason". It's "For Better For Worse, etc. -- until death do you
    part".

    If only one is religious, I refer them to "do not become unevenly
    yoked" (whichj merans more than just Believer & non, it also suggests
    that a paper & a milionaire won't make a stable marriage either, nor a teen & a geezer.

    Exactly.

    Of course you culd enjoy romance -- neutering doesn't change that. Now
    if you also got gelded, you might have trouble in just one department.
    . .

    Well, after nearly going into encephalitis from chicken pox, and worrying about absorbing the solvents, and possible birth defects, I didn't want to
    put an offspring through that.

    No reason your wife should have to suffer though!

    When she had her menarche (first period), her Mom said "that's the rite
    of passage from a girl to a woman". When it happened the next month, she growled "I want to get spayed". Well, she didn't get spayed, but I gladly volunteered to get neutered.

    They told me "no sex for a week"...I only lasted 4 days. :P

    I had to keep a bag of frozen peas in the groin to keep the swelling
    down from the vasectomy (that's actually a common treatment for groin injuries)...and my wife said "you'll never look at peas the same way
    again". <G>

    I was asleep on the Futon, and I was having a nightmare. My wife came
    into the Futon, and woke me, and I grabbed on to her like a security
    blanket, and she said "I think I've just been stapled". :P

    There is a brand of peas called "English Peas", and I really like the
    flavor of them. There's also a microwave blend of peas and carrots...
    that I'd make into a casserole, along with macaroni and cheese, plus
    chicken nuggets. With a dozen nuggets, a package of peas and carrots,
    and 2 packages of macaroni and cheese (all done in the microwave), it
    makes a nice meal, that would fill me up the rest of the day.

    I think your coworker was just being smnarky, suggesting you're so
    overly religiuos tyou won't even do "the deed" when married. . .

    I'll confess "we got frisky" before we tied the knot, but she said "you
    know we're committed to it now", and I agreed. My parents were originally against the marriage, but they were surprised at how well I handled it.

    When I flew down to the Orlando area to meet her side of the family, they were playing the video from the weddding, where I sang the song by the late Kenny Rogers, "The Vows Go Unbroken". The second verse starts with "Though
    I have been tempted..." -- and her cousin belted out "Oh!! He's Been Tempted!!". I nearly said the S word...which is what I said at the bridal shower, when they read "the winner" of the people giving the new couple
    to be, advice on the marriage. I may have noted this before, but it's one
    of the funny memories I cherish to this day.

    The top 3 were as follows:

    3. "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands". Now, after
    working at Burger King for 5 years over 40 years ago, I was no stranger
    to doing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I've heard many guys say that
    "doing dishes and housework is for the wife". Well, when she was sick,
    that responsibility fell on me.

    2. "Daryl, pray for the Second Coming Of The Lord. Jan...pray that it
    is soon!!".

    1. "Violets are purple. Roses are red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head
    for the bed!!".

    I said the S word when the preacher's wife read it. She, a natural
    blonde, and myself, were as red as tomatoes. However, everyone else was laughing so loud and hard, that no one heard my expletive. Jan said
    "He's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!",
    and she was grinning wildly. I was never so embarrassed in my life!!

    But, I nearly beat that at the wedding, when I put her engagement
    ring, her wedding ring, and my wedding on her finger (we had got the
    engagement ring for $25, from a store going out of business). I was
    about to blurt out "Where The Hell Is The Other One??!!". I had never
    been married before...I didn't know how this worked!! :P

    The Good Lord is SO WISE -- the preacher said "Um...you're not
    supposed to put all the rings on her finger"...to which I blushed,
    and said "Oops!!"...and everyone roared in laughter. But, when I
    sang "The Vows Go Unbroken", there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

    I believe as the Good Book says, that forbidding marriage is an abomination.

    As the Apostle Paul noted, "It is better to marry, than to burn
    with passion".

    Q: What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
    A: Unix.

    But, do they have a hard time with that?? :P

    Here's one from old Rome, in the 4th century AD:

    A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his
    wife. When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked: "So
    is she your daughter?"

    Wow.

    Daryl

    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Sep 7 18:27:33 2021
    Weren't you supposed to get the TDaP in grade school long ago?

    If I did, I don't remember getting it.

    They don't keep your health records for life where you live?

    We do & if you'rte missing somethimng important, the community nurses contact you to schedule your required dosing.

    Sleep and I have a loving relationship. But, N. Somnia, and L. Armclock are trying to break us up...the jealous whores!! <BG>

    I know them, too, & I agree with your assessment!

    Yup. . . there is an old belief that men & women sharing a hot tub
    can
    lead to pregnancy. . .

    "Oh, bother!" said Pooh, as he threw away his sex education manual. <G>

    Yup.

    "People are strange" goes the song; I say, "people are dumb"

    That's an old labour term: f*cking the dog, meaning wasting time instead of doing yuour job.

    And, too many folks do that nowadays. I was born and raised that "the
    man is the breadwinner". However, when my body said "you're not going to
    do this anymore", I didn't have a choice. Now, with being diagnosed with atrial flutter, and hospitalized twice in the last month, it really is a game changer. And, if I become diabetic (type 2), that'll really muck
    things up.

    Reality trumps(small-t) theory, every time!

    Also, "Feces occurs."

    I add, "so we got to scrape it off & keep moving"

    To me, when I sign on to a job, I've given my word to do the agreed upon job for the agreed pay rate, and I seek to do 105%, or better, of what I should.

    I'm well appreciated (with money(bonuses & unrequested raises) & benefits) wherever I work.

    Sort of like the medical professionals...they've seen it all. Yet, I
    know folks who don't want to go to the doctor, clinic, hospital, as they don't want to be seen naked. It's just another day at work for them.

    Mr. Jones, at 86, was having none of this stripping in front of a lady nurse
    & said so vociferously.

    She caolmly responded, "Mr. Jones, I've been doing this for 30 years & I
    think I've seen them all."

    He replied, "Well, you ainm't seen mine & we'll keep it that way."

    He, rumour has it, was assigned a male nurse..

    yup; I felt it was important it do so. . . she was not maturee enough or reafy to be a parent, & I expect the boyfriend, off doing his own thing while she's struggling with such a difficult issue, wouldn't be much readier. . .

    It was. The fact of the matter is when a guy has sex with a girl, it automatically makes him "the father".

    Pretty much. If you're not wiling to ultimately commit, you're not ready to
    do the deed &/or don't understand the reality involved in such. That makes
    you too young.

    People think it's just skin against skin, but it's soul merging with soul &
    the later breaking of that holy bond is a great damage indeed.

    & it don't matter if you go to church, nor which one -- or even if you're an athiest -- we were made as He made us.

    I've heard some say that "they're getting married just so they can
    have sex legally"...and I tell them "you're getting married for the
    wrong reason". It's "For Better For Worse, etc. -- until death do you
    part".

    I knew a couple, old enough, you'd think, but they got married because lust
    was terrorizing them. Eventually, unsurprisingly, they divorced

    God may have an issue with prenmarital sex, but not to the degree He's repeatedly said he HATES divorce!

    I counsel people if they want to bang without papers & church blessing, go ahead, but be aware that they've started something that should continue for life.

    If they can't imagine themselves going on without living together 24/7 (every SECOND of the 604,800 in EVERY week) then marriage may be right & I suggest they set a long engagement period to talk to friends, family, & trusted advisors(including clergy, where applicable) & really see how the other half lives before actually moving in together (with or without paper, which
    doesn't make a marriage more or less real)

    I'll point out the plethora of intimacies thAt exist saave that one of consummation, & that 110% of the fun is in discovering them together.

    LOVE. Completely. Unconditionally. Endlessly. & Inclusively.

    Agape in a nutshell. "Unrequited" in Shakespearean.

    Q: What can you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is only falling apart?
    A: Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart

    Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.
    Now I’m just dating myself

    Who knew I would fall in love with a low-carb, high-fat dieter?
    Turns out she had the Keto my heart this whole time

    Did you hear they made a book (and then a movie) about 2 tectonic plates that fall in love?
    It was called the Fault in our Lines.

    Q: What do cannon balls do after they fall in love.
    A: They make bb’s

    Q: What happens when two pieces of rope fall in love?
    A: They tie the knot.

    Q: How do you make a Lamborghini?
    A: You get a Sheeporghini and a Ramborghini to fall in love.

    If inmates fall in love, do they finish each other's sentences?

    Genie: "You get three wishes. I can't kill anybody, I can't make anybody fall in love, I can't bring anybody back from the dead, and you can't wish for
    more wishes."

    Alladin: "I wish that I was rich!"

    Genie: "Done."

    Rich: "... I wish that I have a lot of money."



    If only one is religious, I refer them to "do not become unevenly yoked" (whichj merans more than just Believer & non, it also suggests that a paper & a milionaire won't make a stable marriage either, nor
    a
    teen & a geezer.

    Exactly.

    Of course you culd enjoy romance -- neutering doesn't change that.
    Now
    if you also got gelded, you might have trouble in just one
    department.
    . .

    Well, after nearly going into encephalitis from chicken pox, and
    worrying
    about absorbing the solvents, and possible birth defects, I didn't want to put an offspring through that.

    No reason your wife should have to suffer though!

    When she had her menarche (first period), her Mom said "that's the rite
    of passage from a girl to a woman". When it happened the next month, she growled "I want to get spayed". Well, she didn't get spayed, but I gladly volunteered to get neutered.

    They told me "no sex for a week"...I only lasted 4 days. :P

    I had to keep a bag of frozen peas in the groin to keep the swelling
    down from the vasectomy (that's actually a common treatment for groin injuries)...and my wife said "you'll never look at peas the same way
    again". <G>

    I was asleep on the Futon, and I was having a nightmare. My wife came
    into the Futon, and woke me, and I grabbed on to her like a security blanket, and she said "I think I've just been stapled". :P

    There is a brand of peas called "English Peas", and I really like the flavor of them. There's also a microwave blend of peas and carrots...
    that I'd make into a casserole, along with macaroni and cheese, plus
    chicken nuggets. With a dozen nuggets, a package of peas and carrots,
    and 2 packages of macaroni and cheese (all done in the microwave), it
    makes a nice meal, that would fill me up the rest of the day.

    I think your coworker was just being smnarky, suggesting you're so overly religiuos tyou won't even do "the deed" when married. . .

    I'll confess "we got frisky" before we tied the knot, but she said "you know we're committed to it now", and I agreed. My parents were originally against the marriage, but they were surprised at how well I handled it.

    When I flew down to the Orlando area to meet her side of the family,
    they
    were playing the video from the weddding, where I sang the song by the
    late
    Kenny Rogers, "The Vows Go Unbroken". The second verse starts with "Though
    I have been tempted..." -- and her cousin belted out "Oh!! He's Been Tempted!!". I nearly said the S word...which is what I said at the bridal shower, when they read "the winner" of the people giving the new couple
    to be, advice on the marriage. I may have noted this before, but it's one
    of the funny memories I cherish to this day.

    The top 3 were as follows:

    3. "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands". Now, after working at Burger King for 5 years over 40 years ago, I was no stranger
    to doing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I've heard many guys say that
    "doing dishes and housework is for the wife". Well, when she was sick,
    that responsibility fell on me.

    2. "Daryl, pray for the Second Coming Of The Lord. Jan...pray that it
    is soon!!".

    1. "Violets are purple. Roses are red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head
    for the bed!!".

    I said the S word when the preacher's wife read it. She, a natural
    blonde, and myself, were as red as tomatoes. However, everyone else was laughing so loud and hard, that no one heard my expletive. Jan said
    "He's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!",
    and she was grinning wildly. I was never so embarrassed in my life!!

    But, I nearly beat that at the wedding, when I put her engagement
    ring, her wedding ring, and my wedding on her finger (we had got the engagement ring for $25, from a store going out of business). I was
    about to blurt out "Where The Hell Is The Other One??!!". I had never
    been married before...I didn't know how this worked!! :P

    The Good Lord is SO WISE -- the preacher said "Um...you're not
    supposed to put all the rings on her finger"...to which I blushed,
    and said "Oops!!"...and everyone roared in laughter. But, when I
    sang "The Vows Go Unbroken", there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

    I believe as the Good Book says, that forbidding marriage is an abomination.

    As the Apostle Paul noted, "It is better to marry, than to burn
    with passion".

    Q: What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
    A: Unix.

    But, do they have a hard time with that?? :P

    Here's one from old Rome, in the 4th century AD:

    A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife. When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked:
    "So
    is she your daughter?"

    Wow.

    Daryl

    ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Sep 8 12:41:00 2021
    George,

    If I did, I don't remember getting it.

    They don't keep your health records for life where you live?

    The hospital where I was born apparently is no more. I found that out
    when I had to apply for a birth certificate replacement. It cost a pretty
    penny to get it, as well.

    We do & if you're missing somethimng important, the community nurses contact you to schedule your required dosing.

    My pharmacy calls me personally, and tells me when I have prescriptions
    to pick up. There apparently is a scam going on, by a place posing as one's pharmacy, and asking you to respond YES or NO if it's you...I hung up on them...as they can record you saying "YES", and have you purchase a product that you had no interest in, or need for.

    My pharmacy shows up on the Caller ID on my smartphone...and then I
    either get them that same day, or the next day, if I've already been out
    on errands...especially if it's late in the day, and traffic is getting
    heavy with rush hour. I don't like anything to interfere with my power
    nap. This is because frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken
    while driving.

    Sleep and I have a loving relationship. But, N. Somnia, and L. Armclock are trying to break us up...the jealous whores!! <BG>

    I know them, too, & I agree with your assessment!

    And, sleep is much prettier than those other females. <G>

    "People are strange" goes the song; I say, "people are dumb"

    Or as the game show "Match Game" had..."Dumb Dora and Dumb Donald are
    so dumb..." ["How Dumb Are They??'']. As Foghorn Leghorn noted "This boy...
    I say, this boy is so dumb, he thinks a pigpen is something to write with".

    Reality trumps(small-t) theory, every time!

    The substance of reality is bull$***. :P Although, I said that at work
    years ago, and this fellow female employee said "Cows do, too. But, they
    don't brag about it". I had to admit she was right. <G>

    Also, "Feces occurs."

    I add, "so we got to scrape it off & keep moving"

    I said that to another fellow female employee, and she looked at me
    funny. When I "translated it" ($*** happens), she busted out laughing,
    saying "I'm going to tell my sister!!". <G> Well, the next morning, as
    she walked in, I asked her "Did you tell your sister??". Grinning, she
    said "Yep"...so, I asked "Same result??"...and she said "Yep". <G>

    She lost her first husband to colon cancer, but she apparently
    remarried too soon afterwards (grief takes a long time in some folks),
    as the marriage didn't last 2 months. We were great friends, but the
    one thing I didn't like about her was that she was a smoker. Had she
    not been a smoker, I might have struck up a relationship with her. I
    have no idea what happened to her, as she went to work elsewhere before
    I resigned in late July, 2004, due to declining health.

    My wife has been gone 14 1/2 years now, and while I'm busier than I
    was when I was married (especially when I was caregiver for my Mom
    before her death), some days, it gets awfully lonely. I tell married
    couples to "cherish every moment you have with your spouse". I do have
    a ton of wonderful memories of my late Mom, my late Dad, and my late
    wife, that no one can take away.

    To me, the only thing I want smoking or steaming is the food on my
    dinner plate (sizzling fajitas at Applebee's). When I was at the
    cardiologist recently (as noted, I'm a heart patient now, with atrial
    flutter, and I'm on a heart monitor), and I noted that, one of the
    female nurses busted out laughing, and said "That's what I'm talkin'
    about!!" <G>.

    A fellow female ham radio operator had smoked, dipped, and vaped
    for years. Now, she's paying the price with mouth cancer...having to
    have her whole mouth rebuilt, all of her teeth removed, put on a
    feeding tube, and learning to talk and eat all over again. She said
    if she knew then what she knew now, she never would've started
    smoking, etc.

    To me, when I sign on to a job, I've given my word to do the agreed
    upon job for the agreed pay rate, and I seek to do 105%, or better, of what I should.

    Exactly. Even though I can't work a regular job now (I've been fully
    disabled for 17 years, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me)...with
    the hobbies of the BBS, ham radio, and square dancing, I want to do the
    job that I can be proud of with my efforts...never mind eating salted
    crow and humble pie when I make a mistake (I know that just sorely
    disappoints your outlook of me <BG>).

    I'm well appreciated (with money(bonuses & unrequested raises) &
    benefits) wherever I work.

    With ham radio, we're prohibited with taking money for our services.
    We basically provide communication out of the goodness of our hearts.
    The one exception is if it's expenses related to preparing and conducting license exams...then, we are allowed to be reimbursed for that.

    Sort of like the medical professionals...they've seen it all. Yet, I
    know folks who don't want to go to the doctor, clinic, hospital, as they don't want to be seen naked. It's just another day at work for them.

    Mr. Jones, at 86, was having none of this stripping in front of a lady nurse & said so vociferously.

    She calmly responded, "Mr. Jones, I've been doing this for 30 years &
    I think I've seen them all."

    He replied, "Well, you ain't seen mine & we'll keep it that way."

    He, rumour has it, was assigned a male nurse..

    I prefer the female ones myself. It doesn't matter to me if they see me nude...you have got to be proactive on your health. Otherwise, you are sure
    to be sorry. When it comes to medical issues, you need to throw all modesty
    out the window. They're there to save your butt, and not kiss it.

    Long before COVID-19, I was hospitalized for several days. Several ladies
    I square danced with were nurses on my ward...they gave me such grief. <G>

    It was. The fact of the matter is when a guy has sex with a girl, it automatically makes him "the father".

    Pretty much. If you're not wiling to ultimately commit, you're not
    ready to do the deed &/or don't understand the reality involved in
    such. That makes you too young.

    Exactly.

    People think it's just skin against skin, but it's soul merging with
    soul & the later breaking of that holy bond is a great damage indeed.

    And, they think "until death do you part" is murder by one of them in
    an angry rage.

    & it don't matter if you go to church, nor which one -- or even if
    you're an athiest -- we were made as He made us.

    Or as these childbirth humor items note:

    Childbirth Humor:

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    I heard of one lady in Israel who had 69 -- I wonder if that's where that deal came from??

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Hopefully, beforehand.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Genuine genitalia. :P Or with these exchanges:

    1) "So, THAT explains the difference in our salaries".
    2) "I have an antenna, and you have a USB port".
    3) "You can't have mine!! You broke yours off!!".
    4) "That's a handy thing to have along at picnics!!".
    5) "I didn't know there was such a difference between Protestants and Catholics!!".

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
    borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    That's redundancy, an oxymoron, or both. :P

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Never mind a blow job. :P

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    You might as well prepare for the round the clock diaper duty.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
    in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Never mind "May Divorce Be With You". :P

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    I heard of one couple, where the woman seemed to be constantly pregnant.
    It turns out after she had just delivered a baby, her husband was having
    sex with her, while she was still in the hospital!! In the movie "All
    That Jazz", the main character, had just had heart surgery...but the nurse walked in, and saw a girl sitting on his groin, naked below the waist. His reply was "The doctor told me to get a little exercise". Well, sex can
    kill you...my wife had a heart attack while we were intimate at her request. Now, with me being a heart patient, that threat becomes all to real.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    And, that doesn't mean cleaning them with the "Slip And Slide".

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
    normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    And, the sooner, the better.

    I've heard some say that "they're getting married just so they can
    have sex legally"...and I tell them "you're getting married for the
    wrong reason". It's "For Better For Worse, etc. -- until death do you
    part".

    I knew a couple, old enough, you'd think, but they got married because lust was terrorizing them. Eventually, unsurprisingly, they divorced

    You lust for one another...but there were many times, my wife and I just enjoyed sitting around nude at home, being with each other's company. I'd
    make us a couple of sandwiches, and a drink, and we'd just sit there at
    the table.

    God may have an issue with prenmarital sex, but not to the degree He's repeatedly said he HATES divorce!

    The joke is that in Bible times, if the woman burned the toast, the man
    could seek a writ of divorce.

    I counsel people if they want to bang without papers & church blessing,
    go ahead, but be aware that they've started something that should
    continue for life.

    Exactly. There is no commitment nowadays. If I were to start a relationship tomorrow, I'd want to date for a year, be engaged for a year, then tie the know.

    If they can't imagine themselves going on without living together 24/7 (every SECOND of the 604,800 in EVERY week) then marriage may be right
    & I suggest they set a long engagement period to talk to friends,
    family, & trusted advisors(including clergy, where applicable) & really see how the other half lives before actually moving in together (with
    or without paper, which doesn't make a marriage more or less real)

    My fiance' and myself both had marriage counseling from each of our
    pastors beforehand, and they felt "you have a good head on your shoulders".

    I'll point out the plethora of intimacies thAt exist saave that one of consummation, & that 110% of the fun is in discovering them together.

    Sex is NOT the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe benefit.

    LOVE. Completely. Unconditionally. Endlessly. & Inclusively.

    Agape in a nutshell. "Unrequited" in Shakespearean.

    Exactly. Nowadays, there are pre-nuptial agreements...and some of the
    items can be quite bizarre.

    Q: What can you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is
    only falling apart?
    A: Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart

    If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless??

    Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you
    could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.
    Now I’m just dating myself

    I have 365 dates a year...I look at the wall calendar. <G>

    Who knew I would fall in love with a low-carb, high-fat dieter?
    Turns out she had the Keto my heart this whole time

    And, she unlocked it as well.

    Did you hear they made a book (and then a movie) about 2 tectonic
    plates that fall in love?
    It was called the Fault in our Lines.

    Blame San Andreas...it's all his fault. And, an earthquake in
    Washington, DC, is obviously the government's fault.

    Q: What do cannon balls do after they fall in love.
    A: They make bb’s

    Give me a B. Give me another B. What have you got?? Beauty...
    because that's in the eyes of the B holder.

    Q: What happens when two pieces of rope fall in love?
    A: They tie the knot.

    Or they just wanted to hang around and neck.

    Q: How do you make a Lamborghini?
    A: You get a Sheeporghini and a Ramborghini to fall in love.

    There you go. <G>

    If inmates fall in love, do they finish each other's sentences?

    Depends on the comma-otion or period of time in question.

    Genie: "You get three wishes. I can't kill anybody, I can't make
    anybody fall in love, I can't bring anybody back from the dead, and you can't wish for more wishes."

    Alladin: "I wish that I was rich!"

    Genie: "Done."

    Rich: "... I wish that I have a lot of money."

    There are 2 guys in a health club locker room shower (obviously naked),
    and one notices a cork up his friend's butt. He asks what happened, and
    is told that "I was walking on the beach, and stumbled on this bottle.
    A genie came out, and said "I can grant you any wish!", and I said "No
    $***??". :P

    Daryl

    ... Newspaper Headline: "4-H Girls Win Prizes for fat calves."
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Sep 9 18:19:37 2021
    My pharmacy calls me personally, and tells me when I have prescriptions
    to pick up. There apparently is a scam going on, by a place posing as
    one's
    pharmacy, and asking you to respond YES or NO if it's you...I hung up on them...as they can record you saying "YES", and have you purchase a
    product
    that you had no interest in, or need for.

    I get those calls, too (I signed up for it & gave my permission); I recently switched to blister packs for my regular pills, & get 4 weeks at a time,
    pickup or free delivery, my choice. I jusr called today to put two of them
    back into viuals instead, as they were so tiny, they get caught in the
    corners when the machine pinches the pockets closed.

    My pharmacy shows up on the Caller ID on my smartphone...and then I
    either get them that same day, or the next day, if I've already been out
    on errands...especially if it's late in the day, and traffic is getting heavy with rush hour. I don't like anything to interfere with my power
    nap. This is because frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving.

    Or piloting, I've heard. . .

    Came across a funny YouTube channel today; do you know of "It's A Southern Thing"? I liked their southern commercials pair.

    The substance of reality is bull$***. :P Although, I said that at work years ago, and this fellow female employee said "Cows do, too. But, they don't brag about it". I had to admit she was right. <G>

    Nicely done by her! I hope you complimented her quick & witty retort.

    Exactly. Even though I can't work a regular job now (I've been fully disabled for 17 years, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me)...with
    the hobbies of the BBS, ham radio, and square dancing, I want to do the
    job that I can be proud of with my efforts...never mind eating salted
    crow and humble pie when I make a mistake (I know that just sorely disappoints your outlook of me <BG>).

    Avocaton or vocation, give your all, & really try. . .

    It's just good practice & for the paid work, it's best practice.

    I do volunteer work to the same commitment level as paid.

    If I don't care enough to, then I just don't take it on & I stay home. . . Alone(well, not since marriage & kids), & bored. . .

    With ham radio, we're prohibited with taking money for our services.
    We basically provide communication out of the goodness of our hearts.
    The one exception is if it's expenses related to preparing and conducting license exams...then, we are allowed to be reimbursed for that.

    I found that out when I approached a former volunteer colleague (from provincial seniors games) to ask if my company coulduse his Ham skills in
    case the regular communications are out & he saisd by law he can only do
    third party radio for the government & healthcare bodies during a didsaster/crisis.

    Oh well, asked & answered.

    I prefer the female ones myself. It doesn't matter to me if they see me nude...you have got to be proactive on your health. Otherwise, you are
    sure
    to be sorry. When it comes to medical issues, you need to throw all
    modesty
    out the window. They're there to save your butt, and not kiss it.

    Yup. . . I have no problem with whomever is assigned to provide nursing care, unless they deliberately cop feels of my personal bits, then I politely
    request a change.

    In one hospital I was in, the food was AWFUL(yeah, I know); so bad I wouldn't eat anything I didn't trust (like mystery meat in mystery sauce); the nurses (female) felt bad for me, & wshen I was walking at night, would share their ordered in food (chicken, fish, Chinese, Pizza) with me.

    Long before COVID-19, I was hospitalized for several days. Several
    ladies
    I square danced with were nurses on my ward...they gave me such grief. <G>

    Oh, you loved it! :D

    And, they think "until death do you part" is murder by one of them in
    an angry rage.

    Some call that a Sicilian Divorce.

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    I heard of one lady in Israel who had 69 -- I wonder if that's where
    that
    deal came from??

    Sounds plausible. . .
    Q: What's 6.9?
    A: Something fun ruined by a period.
    Q: What's 68?
    A: I'll owe you one
    Or in Bingo caller slang, "O69, dinner for two with a horrible view"

    The joke is that in Bible times, if the woman burned the toast, the man could seek a writ of divorce.

    Just a joke.

    People forget the Bible exemplified:
    a woman having final say, even if different from her father's on whom she marries & when.
    -a woman buying & selling real estate
    -women soldiers, spies, & national leaders(I'm speaking of Deborah, not Jezebel)
    -women & men being essentially equivalent ("Together, male & female created
    He them")
    -women attending higher education

    Exactly. There is no commitment nowadays. If I were to start a relationship tomorrow, I'd want to date for a year, be engaged for a year, then tie the know.

    I think the time can vary byu the couple but I'd never consider anything less than a year, total, to be enough (I'm a hypocrit in this, though, full disclosure)

    My fiance' and myself both had marriage counseling from each of our pastors beforehand, and they felt "you have a good head on your
    shoulders".

    Yup -- that showed maturity & willingness to consider the other's position.

    I'll point out the plethora of intimacies thAt exist save that one of consummation, & that 110% of the fun is in discovering them together.

    Sex is NOT the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe benefit.

    Granted. I'm saying, if they MUST, then avoid the baby making.

    Exactly. Nowadays, there are pre-nuptial agreements...and some of the items can be quite bizarre.

    Yup, like Johnny Carson paying $42,000/month for dog food to his ex.

    I still don't get that much a YEAR for food AND shelter!

    & $75K/mo so she could buy gifts (isn't that HIM buying the gifts?)

    & more such nonsense that proved California judges can be off the wall at times. . .

    If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless??

    Indubitably.

    Blame San Andreas...it's all his fault. And, an earthquake in
    Washington, DC, is obviously the government's fault.

    It wasn't the trucker's fault, it wasn't the car driver's fault; it was the asphalt.

    Give me a B. Give me another B. What have you got?? Beauty...
    because that's in the eyes of the B holder.

    I heard it as "in the eyes of the beer holder"

    ... Newspaper Headline: "4-H Girls Win Prizes for fat calves."

    Ain't nothing wrong with meaty legs!

    Q: What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?
    A: 2 chairs and a half of a fish.

    A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch
    The bar tender says “wow how’d you get that peg leg?” The pirate says one day
    I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean off” next the bartender asks “and the hook? How’d you get that?” The pirate responds “well
    we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean off” the bartender then asks, “ok so what about the eyepatch??” The pirate
    responds “I was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eye” the bartender is a bit confused and says “that made you lose your eye?” “No” says the pirate “it was my first day with the hook!”

    Q: Why was there a dead calf in the boot of a Germans car?
    A: It’s his spare veal

    Doctor: “You’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad.” Patient: “Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?”

    Q: Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?
    A: To get to the udder side. [sic. redundancy isn't by me]

    My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.
    I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

    Q: What do you call a bovine who's had an abortion?
    A: de-calf-inated

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Fri Sep 10 12:25:00 2021
    George,

    I get those calls, too (I signed up for it & gave my permission); I recently switched to blister packs for my regular pills, & get 4 weeks
    at a time, pickup or free delivery, my choice. I jusr called today to
    put two of them back into viuals instead, as they were so tiny, they
    get caught in the corners when the machine pinches the pockets closed.

    Sometimes, I'll call them if I'm going to be out on errands, to see if
    there are any medications that have come in. Right now, I'm not needing
    any (most of us are on too many medications as it is!!).

    Or piloting, I've heard. . .

    Or, like the meme with a guy who had just jumped out of the airplane,
    and deployed his parachute. The view of one passenger of him, noted that
    the parachutist was holding a sign "I WAS YOUR PILOT". :P That'll ruin
    your whole day. <G>

    Came across a funny YouTube channel today; do you know of "It's A
    Southern Thing"? I liked their southern commercials pair.

    The Mason-Dixon Line is the divider between "You All, and Youz Guys". <G>

    Nicely done by her! I hope you complimented her quick & witty retort.

    I did. Another female I used to work with (she's the one that lost her
    first husband to colon cancer), always kidded me, as I would help her
    rack decals from the press. But, I had to kneel down to get the stuff,
    and work my way up the rack. She'd always say "Assume the position...on
    your knees". <BG>

    Avocaton or vocation, give your all, & really try. . .

    That's all you can ask of someone.

    I do volunteer work to the same commitment level as paid.

    There's also an acronym, N.A.V.Y. -- Never Again Volunteer Yourself. <G> Otherwise, you're doing that job until the moment you die.

    . . Alone(well, not since marriage & kids), & bored. . .

    It's rare that I'm bored...more often than not, I'm tired...from not
    resting well at night. I'm going to have to get a power nap this afternoon sometime. I'm charging the phone for the heart monitor...I'll have to swap
    out and charge the monitor tomorrow. I had to order some extra monitoring patches, as 2 were defective...but they won't be in until tomorrow.

    I found that out when I approached a former volunteer colleague (from provincial seniors games) to ask if my company coulduse his Ham skills
    in case the regular communications are out & he saisd by law he can
    only do third party radio for the government & healthcare bodies during
    a disaster/crisis.

    For ham radio, normally, we can't accept money for our services. However, there are exceptions where compensation is permitted:

    1) In an education institution (school or college), where ham radio is the course, and the individual, a ham radio operator, is the instructor.

    2) In the position of an Emergency Communications Coordinator at a local hospital. There are restrictions on when "drills" can be done...but as far
    as the FCC is concerned, if it's a bona fide emergency, you can "throw the
    rule book out".

    3) Operating a club station at least 40 hours per week, with the schedule published 30 days in advance, using a large amount of frequencies to
    maximize coverage, in the transmission of ham radio bulletins and related information.

    4) Reimbursement for expenses in preparing for, conducting, or after, a
    ham radio license exam session.

    Yup. . . I have no problem with whomever is assigned to provide nursing care, unless they deliberately cop feels of my personal bits, then I politely request a change.

    I think of the one instance where a man is lying in his hospital bed,
    wearing an oxygen mask, when a student nurse comes in to give him a partial sponge bath.

    The patient's communication is behind the mask, so it's distorted and muffled. It sounded like he asked "Nurse, are my testicles black??".

    The young nurse, embarrassed (I want to know why) replies "I don't know,
    sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet".

    He struggles to ask the question again, asking her to check for him.

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment, and pulls back the covers.

    She raises the gown, and does a thorough investigation of his genitalia.

    After a close inspection (you'd think they've seen it all before), she
    says "There's nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine".

    The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly:

    "Thank you very much. Now, listen very, very closely..."

    "Are - My - Test - Results - Back??". <G>

    That's also like the old man in the doctor's office, and the doctor
    tells him "That's very nice, Mr. Smith...but I said I wanted to hear
    your heart". Hmmm...I resemble this exchange. <TMI><BG>

    In one hospital I was in, the food was AWFUL(yeah, I know); so bad I wouldn't eat anything I didn't trust (like mystery meat in mystery
    sauce); the nurses (female) felt bad for me, & wshen I was walking at night, would share their ordered in food (chicken, fish, Chinese,
    Pizza) with me.

    That was nice of them.

    Long before COVID-19, I was hospitalized for several days. Several
    ladies
    I square danced with were nurses on my ward...they gave me such grief. <G>

    Oh, you loved it! :D

    With friends like those, you don't need any enemies. <G>

    And, they think "until death do you part" is murder by one of them in
    an angry rage.

    Some call that a Sicilian Divorce.

    That's about it (sigh!). Speaking of Sicilian, now you've got me craving pizza for lunch. :P

    Q: What's 6.9?
    A: Something fun ruined by a period.

    Yep.

    Q: What's 68?

    On the same scale as 6-Up and Preparation-G. <G>

    A: I'll owe you one
    Or in Bingo caller slang, "O69, dinner for two with a horrible view"

    Or does a gastroenterologist say "Holey Crap"??

    People forget the Bible exemplified:

    I grew up with a brother...I didn't know it took women forever and a day
    to get ready, etc.

    I think the time can vary byu the couple but I'd never consider
    anything less than a year, total, to be enough (I'm a hypocrite in this, though, full disclosure)

    At this point, I doubt anyone would want me. I can barely support myself,
    let alone worrying about someone else or their offspring. But, folks who
    "want a perfect marriage" won't find one in this life.

    There are several young ladies at a local restaurant...who are all very pretty, sweet, and courteous (not to mention having a nice pelvic build
    and structure <G>). But, I could easily be their grandfather, and I'm not getting into the deal of pedophilia. Now, if they were 20 years older, and
    I was 20 years younger, there might be something there. I didn't marry until
    I was 43, but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

    I've basically given up on getting remarried, especially with all of the health and financial issues now. But, I originally had no intention of
    getting married. Yet, The Good Lord made a liar out of me once, and He can
    do so again, if He so chooses. That'd be if He'd appear before me, with
    this female, and said "This is your new bride". I would, at first, bow
    before Him in worship...but then would ask "When do I set the wedding??".

    Yup -- that showed maturity & willingness to consider the other's position.

    It was funny when my fiance' and I went to purchase wedding invitations,
    they had the name of my ex-fiance' (who I broke the engagement off with
    before I got married...she was to do all the taking and I was to do all
    the giving), and myself...both with how they were spelled. My fiance'
    (who became my wife) was laughing, and I growled "I feel like I'm gonna
    puke". :P

    Sex is NOT the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe benefit.

    Granted. I'm saying, if they MUST, then avoid the baby making.

    I like what Walter (one of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's "dummies") noted...

    When my wife says "Screw You!!", I yell "Bite Me". :P Or the pictures of "Safe Sex"...one safe humping another one...or a naked man and woman, all cramped up, crawling out of one of those things. But, the question remains:

    How long must we practice sex before it's safe?? <G>

    Exactly. Nowadays, there are pre-nuptial agreements...and some of the items can be quite bizarre.

    Yup, like Johnny Carson paying $42,000/month for dog food to his ex.

    "Oh, bother!!" said Pooh, as he called his lawyer. If one's wife was
    named Allie, is she wanting Allie-Moaney (alimony)?? :P

    I still don't get that much a YEAR for food AND shelter!

    Never mind keeping up with the Jones'.

    & $75K/mo so she could buy gifts (isn't that HIM buying the gifts?)

    As noted, my ex-fiance' wanted me to always take her to the most
    expensive restaurant, always pick up the tab, and forsake all my
    hobbies, interests, etc. outside of work, and spend every waking
    moment with her. Basically, she was to do all the taking, and I was
    to do all the giving. That does NOT work in a relationship!!

    My late wife didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or Olive
    Garden -- Food Was Food. When we ate out, she'd ask me "Who's
    Paying For This??". I'd usually give her a big toothy, full dentured
    grin <G>, and she'd say "I was afraid of that". But, there were a
    few times when I asked if we could "go Dutch", or if she'd mind paying
    for it...not once, did she complain about that. My ex-fiance' wouldn't
    have been caught dead doing that.

    If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless??

    Indubitably.

    Don't look, Ethyl!! <G>

    Blame San Andreas...it's all his fault. And, an earthquake in
    Washington, DC, is obviously the government's fault.

    It wasn't the trucker's fault, it wasn't the car driver's fault; it was the asphalt.

    That's what the pilot of the Southwest Airlines Flight confessed to the passengers, in apologizing for the rough landing. Besides, I thought that asphalt was when you hit the tennis ball with your butt cheeks. Man, that's gonna leave a mark. <G>

    Give me a B. Give me another B. What have you got?? Beauty...
    because that's in the eyes of the B holder.

    I heard it as "in the eyes of the beer holder"

    That, too. To folks who say that beer doesn't make you smart, you
    have to wonder "then, why is Bud Weiser??". <G>

    ... Newspaper Headline: "4-H Girls Win Prizes for fat calves."

    Ain't nothing wrong with meaty legs!

    More for one to love. <G> I saw a meme, with these sweat pants, and
    there were these hands pushing up the butt cheeks, with the words
    "Push 'Em Up!! Push 'Em Up!! Way Up!!". <G>

    Q: What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?
    A: 2 chairs and a half of a fish.

    What do you have with 32 redneck women?? A full set of teeth. :P

    "No" says the pirate "it was my first day with the hook!"

    Never mind hook, line, and sinker.

    Q: Why was there a dead calf in the boot of a Germans car?
    A: It’s his spare veal

    Years ago, Burger King had a veal parmagean sandwich, with
    marinara sauce and mozarrella cheese, that I really liked. They
    also had a Yumbo (hot ham and cheese) that was replaced by what
    I called a hoagie (a ham and cheese sandwich, with mayonnaise,
    lettuce, and tomato). Now, if I want that, I go to Subway.

    I haven't eaten yet today, so now I'm getting hungry.

    Doctor: :You’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad." Patient: "Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?"

    As long as it's not the middle one. :P

    Q: Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?
    A: To get to the udder side. [sic. redundancy isn't by me]

    We need to moove on with this thread.

    My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.
    I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

    Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor was surprised.
    But, when the farmer had a cow, the doctor up and died.

    Mary had a little watch, she swallowed it all gone.
    So now, when Mary takes a step, time marches on.

    Q: What do you call a bovine who's had an abortion?
    A: de-calf-inated

    That's what I had to do...give up tea. Apparently, all that
    caffeine was accelerating my heart rate. So, I'm making what
    I call "Kroger Koolaid"...but all that water is irritating my
    digestive tract. So, it's "From Revenge Of Monty Zuma, to the
    $***$ of poop-pour-ee". :P I guess I'm practicing for the
    colonoscopy prep.

    Daryl

    ... The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Sep 12 08:28:38 2021
    Sometimes, I'll call them if I'm going to be out on errands, to see if there are any medications that have come in. Right now, I'm not needing
    any (most of us are on too many medications as it is!!).

    I'll drop by the pharmacy in the back wshen I'm shopping, to see if
    anything ready for me, or used to; now they're all bundled in blister packs eavery 4 weeks, like clockwork.

    Or, like the meme with a guy who had just jumped out of the airplane,
    and deployed his parachute. The view of one passenger of him, noted that
    the parachutist was holding a sign "I WAS YOUR PILOT". :P That'll ruin
    your whole day. <G>

    Nah, I'm good til I see tyhe copilot catching up to him with a similar sign (only needsone of those two to fly the plane, & even then I'm ok, unless
    the cockpit door is locked. . .

    Came across a funny YouTube channel today; do you know of "It's A Southern Thing"? I liked their southern commercials pair.

    Another Youtuber you'd like is Tim Dawkins; heard him yet? (100% clean & an actually funny, stand-up comic)

    I did. Another female I used to work with (she's the one that lost her first husband to colon cancer), always kidded me, as I would help her
    rack decals from the press. But, I had to kneel down to get the stuff,
    and work my way up the rack. She'd always say "Assume the position...on
    your knees". <BG>

    Me: Only for you, mistress!

    Avocaton or vocation, give your all, & really try. . .

    That's all you can ask of someone.

    It;s likwe marriage & other relationships: Takers ruin tyhe equation every time, but if you ohave two GIVERS, you have something beautiful indeed.

    not taking is not the same as not receiving. Receiving is truly wonderful,
    but only true givers get the opportunity to ferel this. . .

    I do volunteer work to the same commitment level as paid.

    There's also an acronym, N.A.V.Y. -- Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

    Oh, I don't mind. Some days, I'm not sure if I took 2 sdteps forwaed or if everyone else stepped back 2 steps.

    The Army Motto, as I heard it:
    Why run, when you can walk?
    Why walk, when you can just stand still?
    Why stand, when you can sit?
    Why sit, when you can lie down?
    Why just lie there when you can sleep?

    I set the new baby rule with my wife and I "any time you or I have 5
    minytes fre -- SLEEP!"; we survived a couple years of our son not sleeping through the night. Finally getting a formula right just for him. . .

    Otherwise, you're doing that job until the moment you die.

    If you do an exztra task once at work: nobody notices
    twice: your coworkers call you a suckup & keener
    thrice: it's now part of your job description

    Doing a good job around here is like peeing your pants in a dark room: you
    get a warm feeling, yes, but nobody notices.

    I tend to asrrive first, even before the boss; Once I goty told by my boss
    to come later, even late, but to never beat him again (yes, sir; so I
    arrived just 1 minute early from then on, waiting, around the corner in the cold, counting the minutes until go time)

    He also told me to stop taking short lunches (20 mins was enough to eat my sandwich, slam a coke, & have a quick cigarette(I'm a non-smoker now &
    since 1993), then back to my desk. . .

    He told me to take a minimum one hour from here on in. Again, I had to
    wander aimlessly, killing time. . .

    My counsellor later explained that my being morew capable than the many volunteers they rely on is poptentially bad for morale for the core of
    their man-hour requirements as a large non-profit.

    Then she said, "It doesn't matter; if the boss says do it, you just DO
    it!"; I agree & lesson learned.

    I'm noa kener so much as I'm not a slacker. If I'm being paid 8 hours, i
    give 8h15m or more. I've since learned to focus on giving extra value
    during the 8 instead of giving more than 8 hours time, as m,y family needs
    me, too. & I've usually got some side gigs going on, so need timie to
    fulfill my obligations (& get paid); my philsophjy, especially after we had
    a special needs son, is I'd get a second job outside the family before she
    has to get a first.


    It's rare that I'm bored...more often than not, I'm tired...from not resting well at night. I'm going to have to get a power nap this
    afternoon

    I hear ya; people don't know how being without a 9-5 to get to exhausts
    you. . .

    I'm just now, FINALLY, thanks be to God, starting to sleep the night
    through. . . (niiiice!)

    sometime. I'm charging the phone for the heart monitor...I'll have to
    swap
    out and charge the monitor tomorrow. I had to order some extra
    monitoring
    patches, as 2 were defective...but they won't be in until tomorrow.

    Patches? You're on the Holter Monitor? i had to use that for 72 hours, but
    it died on my shift with it (it would take BP every 4 minutes instead of
    every 15. & once pumped so much air into the cuff, my hand & forearm
    turmned purple -- just try unhooking yourself one-handed, when you're in
    pain! *LOL*


    For ham radio, normally, we can't accept money for our services.
    However,
    there are exceptions where compensation is permitted:

    Keyword is compensation, not recompemnse, eh? You don't get PAID, per se,
    but you can avoid losing too much monmey in providing these certain
    services?

    So yuo're by definition, a non-profit hobbyist?

    But if a national or international disaster you can be drafted to send m,essages on behalf of government & medical corps? The guy I know talked of relaying messages to assure family members of one's being alive.

    Hmm. . ham. . what gopes with ham? Oh yeah!

    For a Halloween party this year, I'm going as Cheesus Christ, the Gouda Shepherd.

    I asked my son to stop making cheese puns
    They can Brie pretty annoying

    via George Takei:
    Sweet drerams are made of cheese
    Who am I to dis a brie?
    I cheddar the world
    and the seven seas
    Everybody's looking for Stilton. . .

    One time, two ships carrying only cheese crashed in the middle of the
    ocean, and all that was left was da Brie.

    Q: Why is Edam cheese so special?
    A: Because it’s made backwards!

    Q: What kind of cheese is the moon made of?
    A: Moonster.

    Q: What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
    A: Shreddar.

    Q: What is Scotland's most famous cheese?
    A: loch Ness Muenster

    Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.
    But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.

    My friend just told me that pizza restaurants’ mozzarella is actually
    blended with provolone to make it more affordable and my only response was

    “They cut the cheese?!”

    And I’ve been laughing hysterically at my own joke for 10 minutes




    1) In an education institution (school or college), where ham radio is
    the
    course, and the individual, a ham radio operator, is the instructor.

    2) In the position of an Emergency Communications Coordinator at a local hospital. There are restrictions on when "drills" can be done...but as
    far
    as the FCC is concerned, if it's a bona fide emergency, you can "throw
    the
    rule book out".

    3) Operating a club station at least 40 hours per week, with the
    schedule
    published 30 days in advance, using a large amount of frequencies to maximize coverage, in the transmission of ham radio bulletins and
    related
    information.

    4) Reimbursement for expenses in preparing for, conducting, or after, a
    ham radio license exam session.

    Yup. . . I have no problem with whomever is assigned to provide
    nursing
    care, unless they deliberately cop feels of my personal bits, then
    I
    politely request a change.

    I think of the one instance where a man is lying in his hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask, when a student nurse comes in to give him a
    partial
    sponge bath.

    The patient's communication is behind the mask, so it's distorted and muffled. It sounded like he asked "Nurse, are my testicles black??".

    The young nurse, embarrassed (I want to know why) replies "I don't
    know,
    sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet".

    He struggles to ask the question again, asking her to check for him.

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment, and pulls back the covers.

    She raises the gown, and does a thorough investigation of his
    genitalia.

    After a close inspection (you'd think they've seen it all before), she says "There's nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine".

    The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very
    slowly:

    "Thank you very much. Now, listen very, very closely..."

    "Are - My - Test - Results - Back??". <G>

    That's also like the old man in the doctor's office, and the doctor
    tells him "That's very nice, Mr. Smith...but I said I wanted to hear
    your heart". Hmmm...I resemble this exchange. <TMI><BG>

    In one hospital I was in, the food was AWFUL(yeah, I know); so bad
    I
    wouldn't eat anything I didn't trust (like mystery meat in mystery sauce); the nurses (female) felt bad for me, & wshen I was walking
    at
    night, would share their ordered in food (chicken, fish, Chinese, Pizza) with me.

    That was nice of them.

    Long before COVID-19, I was hospitalized for several days. Several
    ladies
    I square danced with were nurses on my ward...they gave me such
    grief.


    Oh, you loved it! :D

    With friends like those, you don't need any enemies. <G>

    And, they think "until death do you part" is murder by one of them
    in
    an angry rage.

    Some call that a Sicilian Divorce.

    That's about it (sigh!). Speaking of Sicilian, now you've got me
    craving
    pizza for lunch. :P

    Q: What's 6.9?
    A: Something fun ruined by a period.

    Yep.

    Q: What's 68?

    On the same scale as 6-Up and Preparation-G. <G>

    A: I'll owe you one
    Or in Bingo caller slang, "O69, dinner for two with a horrible
    view"

    Or does a gastroenterologist say "Holey Crap"??

    People forget the Bible exemplified:

    I grew up with a brother...I didn't know it took women forever and a
    day
    to get ready, etc.

    I think the time can vary byu the couple but I'd never consider anything less than a year, total, to be enough (I'm a hypocrite in this, though, full disclosure)

    At this point, I doubt anyone would want me. I can barely support
    myself,
    let alone worrying about someone else or their offspring. But, folks who "want a perfect marriage" won't find one in this life.

    There are several young ladies at a local restaurant...who are all
    very
    pretty, sweet, and courteous (not to mention having a nice pelvic build
    and structure <G>). But, I could easily be their grandfather, and I'm
    not
    getting into the deal of pedophilia. Now, if they were 20 years older,
    and
    I was 20 years younger, there might be something there. I didn't marry
    until
    I was 43, but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

    I've basically given up on getting remarried, especially with all of
    the
    health and financial issues now. But, I originally had no intention of getting married. Yet, The Good Lord made a liar out of me once, and He
    can
    do so again, if He so chooses. That'd be if He'd appear before me, with
    this female, and said "This is your new bride". I would, at first, bow before Him in worship...but then would ask "When do I set the
    wedding??".

    Yup -- that showed maturity & willingness to consider the other's position.

    It was funny when my fiance' and I went to purchase wedding
    invitations,
    they had the name of my ex-fiance' (who I broke the engagement off with before I got married...she was to do all the taking and I was to do all
    the giving), and myself...both with how they were spelled. My fiance'
    (who became my wife) was laughing, and I growled "I feel like I'm gonna puke". :P

    Sex is NOT the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe
    benefit.

    Granted. I'm saying, if they MUST, then avoid the baby making.

    I like what Walter (one of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's "dummies")
    noted...

    When my wife says "Screw You!!", I yell "Bite Me". :P Or the pictures
    of
    "Safe Sex"...one safe humping another one...or a naked man and woman,
    all
    cramped up, crawling out of one of those things. But, the question
    remains:

    How long must we practice sex before it's safe?? <G>

    Exactly. Nowadays, there are pre-nuptial agreements...and some of
    the
    items can be quite bizarre.

    Yup, like Johnny Carson paying $42,000/month for dog food to his
    ex.

    "Oh, bother!!" said Pooh, as he called his lawyer. If one's wife was
    named Allie, is she wanting Allie-Moaney (alimony)?? :P

    I still don't get that much a YEAR for food AND shelter!

    Never mind keeping up with the Jones'.

    & $75K/mo so she could buy gifts (isn't that HIM buying the gifts?)

    As noted, my ex-fiance' wanted me to always take her to the most
    expensive restaurant, always pick up the tab, and forsake all my
    hobbies, interests, etc. outside of work, and spend every waking
    moment with her. Basically, she was to do all the taking, and I was
    to do all the giving. That does NOT work in a relationship!!

    My late wife didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or Olive
    Garden -- Food Was Food. When we ate out, she'd ask me "Who's
    Paying For This??". I'd usually give her a big toothy, full dentured
    grin <G>, and she'd say "I was afraid of that". But, there were a
    few times when I asked if we could "go Dutch", or if she'd mind paying
    for it...not once, did she complain about that. My ex-fiance' wouldn't
    have been caught dead doing that.

    If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless??

    Indubitably.

    Don't look, Ethyl!! <G>

    Blame San Andreas...it's all his fault. And, an earthquake in Washington, DC, is obviously the government's fault.

    It wasn't the trucker's fault, it wasn't the car driver's fault; it
    was
    the asphalt.

    That's what the pilot of the Southwest Airlines Flight confessed to
    the
    passengers, in apologizing for the rough landing. Besides, I thought
    that
    asphalt was when you hit the tennis ball with your butt cheeks. Man,
    that's
    gonna leave a mark. <G>

    Give me a B. Give me another B. What have you got?? Beauty...
    because that's in the eyes of the B holder.

    I heard it as "in the eyes of the beer holder"

    That, too. To folks who say that beer doesn't make you smart, you
    have to wonder "then, why is Bud Weiser??". <G>

    ... Newspaper Headline: "4-H Girls Win Prizes for fat calves."

    Ain't nothing wrong with meaty legs!

    More for one to love. <G> I saw a meme, with these sweat pants, and
    there were these hands pushing up the butt cheeks, with the words
    "Push 'Em Up!! Push 'Em Up!! Way Up!!". <G>

    Q: What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?
    A: 2 chairs and a half of a fish.

    What do you have with 32 redneck women?? A full set of teeth. :P

    "No" says the pirate "it was my first day with the hook!"

    Never mind hook, line, and sinker.

    Q: Why was there a dead calf in the boot of a Germans car?
    A: It’s his spare veal

    Years ago, Burger King had a veal parmagean sandwich, with
    marinara sauce and mozarrella cheese, that I really liked. They
    also had a Yumbo (hot ham and cheese) that was replaced by what
    I called a hoagie (a ham and cheese sandwich, with mayonnaise,
    lettuce, and tomato). Now, if I want that, I go to Subway.

    I haven't eaten yet today, so now I'm getting hungry.

    Doctor: :You’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and
    your
    quad." Patient: "Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?"

    As long as it's not the middle one. :P

    Q: Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?
    A: To get to the udder side. [sic. redundancy isn't by me]

    We need to moove on with this thread.

    My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.
    I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

    Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor was surprised.
    But, when the farmer had a cow, the doctor up and died.

    Mary had a little watch, she swallowed it all gone.
    So now, when Mary takes a step, time marches on.

    Q: What do you call a bovine who's had an abortion?
    A: de-calf-inated

    That's what I had to do...give up tea. Apparently, all that
    caffeine was accelerating my heart rate. So, I'm making what
    I call "Kroger Koolaid"...but all that water is irritating my
    digestive tract. So, it's "From Revenge Of Monty Zuma, to the
    $***$ of poop-pour-ee". :P I guess I'm practicing for the
    colonoscopy prep.

    Daryl

    ... The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
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    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Sun Sep 12 21:25:00 2021
    George,

    Nah, I'm good til I see tyhe copilot catching up to him with a similar sign (only needsone of those two to fly the plane, & even then I'm ok, unless the cockpit door is locked. . .

    I think about the joke on the aircraft, where someone was in the men's lavatory, but this guy had to take a dump big time. So, the stewardess
    let him use the ladies room, but warned him "DO NOT TOUCH THE 4 BUTTONS".

    Well, as he's on the throne, issuing a poopal edict <G>, he spots the buttons. Proving that most men don't follow directions given to them by
    women <G>, he wonders what WW, WA, PP, and TR stand for. So, he tries
    the buttons one by one.

    1) WW - Warm Water -- like a bidet, washes his genitals and buttocks

    2) WA - Warm Water -- a dryer to dry off the aforementioned areas

    3) PP - Powder Puff -- now he really feels clean

    But, the last thing he remembered was right after he tried TR, he
    blacked out.

    Several hours later, he wakes up in the hospital, and this nurse
    chews him out for him not following directions. Trying to find out
    what happened, he told her of the buttons, but admitted he blacked
    out after doing TR.

    The nurse replied "That's for Tampon Remover. Your penis is under
    your pillow". :P

    Another Youtuber you'd like is Tim Dawkins; heard him yet? (100% clean
    & an actually funny, stand-up comic)

    One of my ham radio utilities crashed and burned big time earlier today, knocking me off of a digital mode, and ending the 5 nets I was involved
    with. I can't afford replacement electronic devices, or new phones.

    rack decals from the press. But, I had to kneel down to get the stuff,
    and work my way up the rack. She'd always say "Assume the position...on
    your knees". <BG>

    Me: Only for you, mistress!

    To this day, I wonder what happened to her.

    Its like marriage & other relationships: Takers ruin the equation
    every time, but if you have two GIVERS, you have something beautiful indeed.

    That's what we had. The only thing she was "aggressive" on was her
    food, which was the spicier cuisine that I couldn't handle, anyway.
    She also loved anchovices on pizza, and I told her "you can have those
    nasty things!!".

    not taking is not the same as not receiving. Receiving is truly wonderful, but only true givers get the opportunity to ferel this. . .

    Oh, I don't mind. Some days, I'm not sure if I took 2 steps forward or
    if everyone else stepped back 2 steps.

    A little of both.

    I set the new baby rule with my wife and I "any time you or I have 5 minutes free -- SLEEP!"; we survived a couple years of our son not sleeping through the night. Finally getting a formula right just for
    him. . .

    They're like cats...it's crying time at 3am.

    Otherwise, you're doing that job until the moment you die.

    If you do an extra task once at work: nobody notices
    twice: your coworkers call you a suckup & keener
    thrice: it's now part of your job description

    Basically.

    Doing a good job around here is like peeing your pants in a dark room:
    you get a warm feeling, yes, but nobody notices.

    That's just like friendship. :P

    He told me to take a minimum one hour from here on in. Again, I had to wander aimlessly, killing time. . .

    Just like the country song.

    Then she said, "It doesn't matter; if the boss says do it, you just DO it!"; I agree & lesson learned.

    Rule #1. The boss is always right.

    Rule #2. If the boss is ever wrong, refer to Rule #1.

    I hear ya; people don't know how being without a 9-5 to get to
    exhausts you. . .

    My work is more mentally exhausting than physical, although I do mainly
    the QWK Mail on the BBS, plus updating ham radio and weather data, and a
    very limited number of doors.

    Patches? You're on the Holter Monitor? i had to use that for 72 hours,
    but it died on my shift with it (it would take BP every 4 minutes
    instead of every 15. & once pumped so much air into the cuff, my hand & forearm turmned purple -- just try unhooking yourself one-handed, when you're in pain! *LOL*

    The BioTech Heart Monitor. I had bought my own pulse oximeter and blood pressure cuff, as well as temporal forehead scanner thermometer. The small Verizon phone with the program had to be charged daily, although it could
    last 3 days. The patch had to be changed out and the sensor charged every
    4 days.

    Keyword is compensation, not recompemnse, eh? You don't get PAID, per
    se, but you can avoid losing too much money in providing these certain services?

    If it's part of one's job (teaching position, working a club station, or
    the emergency communications coordinator at the hospital)...or items with
    a license exam session, you can get paid or reimbursed for that.

    So you're by definition, a non-profit hobbyist?

    I guess you could say that. But, we're not getting rich from it.

    But if a national or international disaster you can be drafted to send messages on behalf of government & medical corps? The guy I know
    talked of relaying messages to assure family members of one's being
    alive.

    We call that Health and Welfare Traffic through the National Traffic
    System.

    For a Halloween party this year, I'm going as Cheesus Christ, the Gouda Shepherd.

    You could go as Chester Cheetah...it's not easy being cheesy. <G>

    I asked my son to stop making cheese puns
    They can Brie pretty annoying

    I like American and Mozarella cheese...but I haven't had pizza in awhile.

    via George Takei:
    Sweet dreams are made of cheese
    Who am I to dis a brie?
    I cheddar the world
    and the seven seas
    Everybody's looking for Stilton. . .

    Some dreams stink like limberger (sp?).

    One time, two ships carrying only cheese crashed in the middle of the ocean, and all that was left was da Brie.

    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    Q: Why is Edam cheese so special?
    A: Because it’s made backwards!

    There's a town north of Little Rock named Enola -- ALONE spelled backwards.

    Q: What kind of cheese is the moon made of?
    A: Moonster.

    I thought it was green. :P

    Q: What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
    A: Shreddar.

    Would it be stringy??

    Q: What is Scotland's most famous cheese?
    A: loch Ness Muenster

    I'm dragon to rush to get to that one.

    Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.
    But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.

    Very much so.

    My friend just told me that pizza restaurants’ mozzarella is actually blended with provolone to make it more affordable and my only response
    was

    “They cut the cheese?!”

    You don't want to lick the knife. :P

    And I’ve been laughing hysterically at my own joke for 10 minutes

    You need help....but I can't provide it.

    Daryl

    ... Clevelage: The sight one sees when a large repair man bends over.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Sep 13 19:43:31 2021
    Another Youtuber you'd like is Tim Dawkins; heard him yet? (100%
    clean
    & an actually funny, stand-up comic)

    One of my ham radio utilities crashed and burned big time earlier
    today,
    knocking me off of a digital mode, and ending the 5 nets I was involved with. I can't afford replacement electronic devices, or new phones.

    & these provide your internet connection?
    Darn, sucks. . . hope you can get back up & functional soon. . . :)


    [2 givers]
    That's what we had. The only thing she was "aggressive" on was her
    food, which was the spicier cuisine that I couldn't handle, anyway.
    She also loved anchovices on pizza, and I told her "you can have those
    nasty things!!".

    You can be dufferent & still share; pizzas can be made one side one way,
    the other side another.. .

    My wife & I don't agree too much on book genres, but she reads her faves &
    I mine.. . :)

    If I was the petty, misogynmist type, I could make noise & put her down for
    not liking my fave book types, but then I'd deserve the fallout from doing
    so.

    True freedom is in having yuour freedom of choice; I find eveyuthing is
    freedom of chjoice. Maybe a piece of satelite goes through my shoulder, crip0pling me worse -- I can choose to cry, or choose to buck up & figure
    my way through the latest in a series of misfortuniate happenstances. . .

    He told me to take a minimum one hour from here on in. Again, I
    had to
    wander aimlessly, killing time. . .

    Just like the country song.

    Wandering aimlessl;y sounds like a very C&W thing to be doing, that I won't even askj which song, as there's probably too many. .

    I'm thoroughly enjoying listening to 1970s country hits. . so relaxing & elevating. . . I do enjoy accuradio, web or iPhone app. . .

    Rule #1. The boss is always right.

    Rule #2. If the boss is ever wrong, refer to Rule #1.

    I quote that one often, because it's so TRUE!

    Boss spelled backwards is double S.O.B.

    My work is more mentally exhausting than physical, although I do
    mainly
    the QWK Mail on the BBS, plus updating ham radio and weather data, and a very limited number of doors.

    Thery've evidenced that mental work burns as many calories (from work) as physical work.

    You could go as Chester Cheetah...it's not easy being cheesy. <G>

    Nah; I can do cheesy puns & dad jokes even without a costume! Ask anyone
    who knows me in RL.

    I like American and Mozarella cheese...but I haven't had pizza in
    awhile.

    I like a 5-cheees pizza. wioth artichoke hearts &/or pineapple, to add
    moisture

    Some dreams stink like limberger (sp?).

    Sounds more like they sphinct.. .

    There's a town north of Little Rock named Enola -- ALONE spelled
    backwards.

    Canada's Paralympic Curling team is called Adanac (Canada reversed)

    Q: What kind of cheese is the moon made of?
    A: Moonster.

    I thought it was green. :P

    True story: in olden times they diddn't sees green & blue the same way we
    do.

    Q: What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
    A: Shreddar.

    Would it be stringy??

    If you softened it with heat & plazyed taffy pull with it, maybe?

    You need help....but I can't provide it.

    Nah, we're fine with myselves. . .

    Batteries have split personalities
    On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative

    "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Tue Sep 14 12:23:00 2021
    George,

    & these provide your internet connection?
    Darn, sucks. . . hope you can get back up & functional soon. . . :)

    It depends on the author releasing an update. I think Microsoft has
    knowledge of when any program other than theirs is updated, so they
    try to muck things up. Every time I try to delete an unwanted item
    (Candy Crush, Mirkat, LinkedIn, XBox, or a whole slew of other Microsoft products) from Windows 10, it puts them right back on.

    You can be dufferent & still share; pizzas can be made one side one
    way, the other side another.. .

    I've heard of that being done.

    My wife & I don't agree too much on book genres, but she reads her
    faves & I mine.. . :)

    My late wife was a bookworm...the last "book" I read was the accreditation manual to give ham radio license exams.

    If I was the petty, misogynmist type, I could make noise & put her down for not liking my fave book types, but then I'd deserve the fallout
    from doing so.

    And, you'd sleep in the doghouse.

    Wandering aimlessly sounds like a very C&W thing to be doing, that I
    won't even ask which song, as there's probably too many. .

    The title was "Killing Time"...I forgot who did it offhand.

    I'm thoroughly enjoying listening to 1970s country hits. . so relaxing
    & elevating. . . I do enjoy accuradio, web or iPhone app. . .

    Years ago, at work, I was listening to big band and swing. One employee
    asked "Are you trying to get old before your time??". I replied "You're
    d@mn right, I am". <G>

    Rule #1. The boss is always right.

    Rule #2. If the boss is ever wrong, refer to Rule #1.

    I quote that one often, because it's so TRUE!

    Boss spelled backwards is double S.O.B.

    Both are true. And, a male dog is truly an S.O.B., and he acts like one,
    too. <G>

    Thery've evidenced that mental work burns as many calories (from work)
    as physical work.

    No wonder my brain is so fried. :P

    You could go as Chester Cheetah...it's not easy being cheesy. <G>

    Nah; I can do cheesy puns & dad jokes even without a costume! Ask
    anyone who knows me in RL.

    I'm not crazy...just ask my psychiatrist. <G>

    I like American and Mozarella cheese...but I haven't had pizza in
    awhile.

    I like a 5-cheees pizza. wioth artichoke hearts &/or pineapple, to add moisture

    I usually get the 3 minute pizzas, either sausage and pepperoni, or 3
    meat. Plain chesse is too bland, and I don't care for supreme.

    Some dreams stink like limberger (sp?).

    Sounds more like they sphinct.. .

    That, too.

    There's a town north of Little Rock named Enola -- ALONE spelled
    backwards.

    Canada's Paralympic Curling team is called Adanac (Canada reversed)

    Interesting. And, I know that "curling" is not what women do to their
    hair. <G>

    Q: What kind of cheese is the moon made of?
    A: Moonster.

    I thought it was green. :P

    True story: in olden times they didn't see green & blue the same way
    we do.

    Especially if you're colorblind. The owner of the silkscreen print shop
    I worked in for 18 years was colorblind...how strange is that??

    Q: What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
    A: Shreddar.

    Would it be stringy??

    If you softened it with heat & played taffy pull with it, maybe?

    I was never one for taffy.

    You need help....but I can't provide it.

    Nah, we're fine with myselves. . .

    You talk to yourself when you need expert advice, eh? <G>

    Batteries have split personalities
    On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are
    negative

    "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

    So, he changed his name, then??

    Daryl

    ... Dijon Vu: When you feel you've tasted this mustard before.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Sep 14 19:20:37 2021
    You can be dufferent & still share; pizzas can be made one side one way, the other side another.. .

    I've heard of that being done.

    We do it all the time. . .

    Works best if both halves cost the same as a full pizza.

    Years ago, at work, I was listening to big band and swing. One
    employee
    asked "Are you trying to get old before your time??". I replied "You're
    d@mn right, I am". <G>

    I love big band! Have you seen that film of Gene Kruppa playing?

    I'm not crazy...just ask my psychiatrist. <G>

    I did, he says whenever you go for a walk you always take the cyclepath.

    I usually get the 3 minute pizzas, either sausage and pepperoni, or 3 meat. Plain chesse is too bland, and I don't care for supreme.

    I'm not much for microweave food. Although Delissio's pan pizza is good
    (puffs up a nice & fluffy crust, just like the real thing)

    Canada's Paralympic Curling team is called Adanac (Canada reversed)

    Interesting. And, I know that "curling" is not what women do to their hair. <G>

    It is, but not in Canada much any more. . .

    True story: in olden times they didn't see green & blue the same
    way
    we do.

    Especially if you're colorblind. The owner of the silkscreen print
    shop
    I worked in for 18 years was colorblind...how strange is that??

    We would say our abcestors from long ago were all blue-green colourblind

    Nah, we're fine with myselves. . .

    You talk to yourself when you need expert advice, eh? <G>

    Who told?

    Like when I go out to dinner by myself, Ip u t a mirror on the other end of
    the table to, I tell the waitress, "ensure I have good looking &
    intelligent company whi8le I eat."

    "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

    So, he changed his name, then??

    Well, one of his personalities was, appsarently, nmaed Frank!

    I love Tom Swifties -- I read the entire book seroes the term comes from,
    about a heroic young inventor (I was 8 when I sat down & read all 50 books
    of the series to date from a big box my mom bought)

    Here's just the letter A from an online dictionatry of Tom Swiftys:

    "I'm wearing a ribbon round my arm," said Tom with abandon.
    "I'm concerned about the number of people not attending," said Tom absentmindedly.
    "I like modern painting," said Tom abstractly.
    "Now I have the tools to chop down that tree," said Tom with a
    heavy accent.
    "This salad dressing has too much vinegar," said Tom acidly.
    "There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
    "Here's your allowance for the next two weeks," Tom advanced.
    "I'd like to eat seventeen cakes," Tom agreed.
    "I'm halfway up a mountain," Tom alleged.
    "There's no need for silence," Tom allowed.
    "There seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse," said Tom aloofly.
    "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.
    "These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets," said
    Tom apologetically.
    "I compliment the company that makes the Macintosh computer," said
    Tom applauding.
    "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
    "It's an actual parameter, not a formal parameter," was Tom's
    argument.
    "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
    "Someday I'll run the CIA," said Tom aspiringly.
    "I've mailed the letter," Tom assented.
    "I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,"
    said Tom autobiographically.

    Excellent taglines, but "FUNNY" as is, too. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Sep 15 12:57:00 2021
    George,

    Works best if both halves cost the same as a full pizza.

    I can't remember if my late wife and I ordered a half and half,
    or 2 separate ones. But, I think one time, I got one of her VERY
    SALTY anchovies <BLEAH!>. She was laughing like mad. The thing is,
    I didn't offer to give it to the dachshund, even though he was
    begging for some food...because if you give into them once, you've
    corrupted them forever. But, when I asked her if an anchovy dropped
    on the floor, and he got it, she growled "if he touches it, he dies!!".
    I'm not sure who was more food aggressive at that point. <G>

    I love big band! Have you seen that film of Gene Kruppa playing?

    Not yet. I've had other computer issues lately. I also had to get
    a square dance publication out this morning (print and e-Edition). I
    don't know how many times I went over both things with a fine tooth
    comb, before I fixed all the errors. The thing is, you need a second
    set of eyes, as you'll never spot it on a document you're doing.

    I'm not crazy...just ask my psychiatrist. <G>

    I did, he says whenever you go for a walk you always take the
    cyclepath.

    Even if it's a unicycle.

    I'm not much for microweave food. Although Delissio's pan pizza is
    good (puffs up a nice & fluffy crust, just like the real thing)

    That's the only way I cook. The arthritis is so bad (along with the
    bones in my neck pressing on the nerves), that I can't stand for very
    long in front of the sink, stove, microwave oven, toilet, or in the
    shower. I'm basically in constant pain now, but if it gets too bad, I'll
    take an Ibuprofen, and go to bed.

    You talk to yourself when you need expert advice, eh? <G>

    Who told?

    It's the world's worst secret. <G>

    Like when I go out to dinner by myself, I put a mirror on the other
    end of the table to, I tell the waitress, "ensure I have good looking & intelligent company while I eat."

    But, the reflective individual never pays his part of the bill. :P

    I love Tom Swifties -- I read the entire book seroes the term comes
    from, about a heroic young inventor (I was 8 when I sat down & read all
    50 books of the series to date from a big box my mom bought)

    I have several "Tom Taglines" that I use on occasion.

    Daryl

    ... My ship finally came in, but I was at the airport.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Sep 15 18:12:04 2021
    The thing is,
    I didn't offer to give it to the dachshund, even though he was
    begging for some food...because if you give into them once, you've
    corrupted them forever. But, when I asked her if an anchovy dropped
    on the floor, and he got it, she growled "if he touches it, he dies!!".
    I'm not sure who was more food aggressive at that point. <G>

    I hate when a pet gets coprrupted & begs every time you eat. I trasined my
    cat to leave me alone when I'm eatimg, but I always called her name after
    to give her as little plate of her own.

    Like when I go out to dinner by myself, I put a mirror on the other
    end of the table to, I tell the waitress, "ensure I have good
    looking &
    intelligent company while I eat."

    But, the reflective individual never pays his part of the bill. :P

    Or he pays 100% of it; never sure. . .

    ... My ship finally came in, but I was at the airport.

    While waiting for opportunity to knock, my ship came in, down at the port.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Thu Sep 16 01:16:00 2021
    George,

    I hate when a pet gets coprrupted & begs every time you eat. I trasined
    my cat to leave me alone when I'm eatimg, but I always called her name after to give her as little plate of her own.

    It's so true that "if you give into them once, you've corrupted them forever". Hmmm...that sounds like humans with "free stuff". :P

    But, the reflective individual never pays his part of the bill. :P

    Or he pays 100% of it; never sure. . .

    It's like a blooper I saw today...the financial advisor says we can
    have more money for retirement if we spend less.

    I thought "What was your first clue??".

    ... My ship finally came in, but I was at the airport.

    While waiting for opportunity to knock, my ship came in, down at the
    port.

    My ship came in, but I was at the train station...because at the airport,
    my fortune flew away. And, I guess I was on the wrong track to get the
    money. :P

    Daryl

    ... I'm one step away from being rich. All I need is money.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Sep 17 07:27:27 2021
    It's so true that "if you give into them once, you've corrupted them forever". Hmmm...that sounds like humans with "free stuff". :P

    But, the reflective individual never pays his part of the bill. :P

    Or he pays 100% of it; never sure. . .

    It's like a blooper I saw today...the financial advisor says we can
    have more money for retirement if we spend less.

    I thought "What was your first clue??".

    No kidding!

    Lots of goofy ads klke that.

    "Nothing cleans bewtter than Tide."

    Great! I'll start using nothing then! How much did I just save? $27.99?! WOOHOO!!!

    My ship came in, but I was at the train station...because at the
    airport,
    my fortune flew away. And, I guess I was on the wrong track to get the money. :P

    Where's the train?

    No, not Amtrak, my train of thought. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Sat Sep 18 21:52:00 2021
    George,

    "Nothing cleans bewtter than Tide."

    Great! I'll start using nothing then! How much did I just save?
    $27.99?! WOOHOO!!!

    LOL!! Never mind Low or High Tide <G>.

    Where's the train?

    No, not Amtrak, my train of thought. . .

    See the tagline below. <G>

    Daryl

    ... On my Train Of Thought, 99% are deadheading (riding for free).
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Sep 19 10:43:46 2021
    Where's the train?

    No, not Amtrak, my train of thought. . .

    See the tagline below. <G>
    ... On my Train Of Thought, 99% are deadheading (riding for free).

    Tagline list idea: FLW=Famous Last Words

    FLW: I swear the chamber was empty!
    FLW: He's a cop's kid? That makes no difference in our society of equals!
    FLW: You don't have the guts to pull that trigg.....^&*&NO CARRIER
    FLW: It's ok, I had a teddy bear as a kid; they don't hurt you. . .

    Feel free to build it.. . :) Those are just on the fly, off the cuff, from
    the top of my head. . idioms are fun! (unless you're ESL)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Sun Sep 19 21:16:00 2021
    George,

    FLW: I swear the chamber was empty!

    Is this thing unplugged?? <ZAP!>.

    FLW: He's a cop's kid? That makes no difference in our society of equals!

    Teacher: 2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2.
    Quickdraw McGraw: 2 and 2 is 22...and don't you forget it!!

    FLW: You don't have the guts to pull that trigg.....^&*&NO CARRIER

    Is the Sysop gone?? Good, now I can. !@#$%^&*() NO CARRIER

    One time, when my BBS was on dial-up, I was in chat with a fellow
    Sysop. he had stepped away from the computer, and just for grins, I
    typed NO CARRIER on a line by itself. A moment later, he hung up, and
    I saw NO CARRIER. <G>

    Now, with the BBS computer in the other room, I'm not at the host console except at power up, power down, or reboot...such as for Windows Update, or
    for thunderstorms.

    FLW: It's ok, I had a teddy bear as a kid; they don't hurt you.

    Oh, my own little teddy bear. I will call him George, and I will pet him,
    and squeeze him... :P

    Seriously, I saw a touching Valentine's Day video on YouTube. This woman's husband, a veteran, dressed up in a teddy bear costume, and he was sitting
    near the door of their home. He had also gotten a bouquet of flowers (most likely roses, although those are expensive), and a card. He got his friend
    (who he and his wife knew) to read the card, and whenever she saw this bear,
    to think of him. Their anniversary was on Valentine's Day.

    She is near tears, thinking that her husband wasn't going to be there for
    a long time...but is overcome with joy when she discovers it was him inside
    the bear costume.

    I love those veterans homecoming videos...if that doesn't bring tears to
    your eyes, nothing will.

    Daryl

    ... Deja Goo Goo: A feeling you're reliving your infancy.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Sep 22 14:56:39 2021
    Is the Sysop gone?? Good, now I can. !@#$%^&*() NO CARRIER

    One time, when my BBS was on dial-up, I was in chat with a fellow
    Sysop. he had stepped away from the computer, and just for grins, I
    typed NO CARRIER on a line by itself. A moment later, he hung up, and
    I saw NO CARRIER. <G>

    Must've thought there was a random disconnect, or you had killed the connection, or a timeout setting on your side. . .

    I used to try, on those who were jackasses in my echo:

    Secret SYSOP ACCESS:

    ALT+S

    CD \

    ECHO Y |DEL *.*

    then add, of course, coz I'm not a monster:


    For the rest of you, do not try this, coz you will f*** up your PC.


    Oh, my own little teddy bear. I will call him George, and I will pet
    him,
    and squeeze him... :P

    Poor Bugs, or was it Ralph the sheepdog in that one?

    Seriously, I saw a touching Valentine's Day video on YouTube. This
    woman's
    husband, a veteran, dressed up in a teddy bear costume, and he was
    sitting
    near the door of their home. He had also gotten a bouquet of flowers
    (most
    likely roses, although those are expensive), and a card. He got his
    friend
    (who he and his wife knew) to read the card, and whenever she saw this
    bear,
    to think of him. Their anniversary was on Valentine's Day.

    She is near tears, thinking that her husband wasn't going to be there
    for
    a long time...but is overcome with joy when she discovers it was him
    inside
    the bear costume.

    I love those veterans homecoming videos...if that doesn't bring tears
    to
    your eyes, nothing will.

    I love them, too, when not obviously staged. . .

    I always respect & appreciate those willing to step between me & those who
    want to kill me.

    That's why I'll never respect/like Jane Fonda for how she caused those returning vets from Viet Nam to be treated.

    Yes, it was a crappy war & it was done for pure profit, but those boys in uniform werre not part of the decisions. They were victims, too.

    I choose to believe they were sincerely out there, & believed they were
    risking life & limb to defend America, & the world, against Evil.

    Individual rectal orifices, I'm sure & there will always be, but you don't paint everyone with the same condemnatory brush for the actions of a few.

    Those who deliberately chose cruelty over huymanity, will answser to He Who judges all, as will Hanoi Jane. . .

    In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather
    than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...
    Pho Ton Torpedoes.

    I wanna go spend a few weeks working a waiter in Vietnam so I can tell my
    kids I served in 'Nam.

    Q: What did the Japanese rose say to the American soldier when they met in Vietnam?
    A: Miso Thorny

    This building is Vietnam war era construction...
    theres a draft.

    Is a dogtor from Hanoi a Viet Nam vet?

    Dadjoked my history teacher in class
    So, in class we were talking about the Vietnam War and while talking about
    the coup detat the teacher asks "Does anyone know what a coup is?" So I say
    "a place where they hold chickens"


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Sep 22 19:37:00 2021
    George,

    Must've thought there was a random disconnect, or you had killed the connection, or a timeout setting on your side. . .

    I think a combination of all of it.

    I used to try, on those who were jackasses in my echo:

    Secret SYSOP ACCESS:

    ALT+S

    CD \

    ECHO Y |DEL *.*

    then add, of course, coz I'm not a monster:

    For the rest of you, do not try this, coz you will f*** up your PC.

    There is a door I have on the BBS called Sysop Editor. You go into it,
    and you're prompted to enter the Sysop Password. No matter what they
    type, it grants them access.

    They are presented with a "simulated user profile" with several
    prompts to change. They can change these as many times as they want.

    When they type Q)uit, the screen flashes "YOU'VE BEEN BUSTED!!". <G>

    It tells them that "You thought you were going to get off easy...
    We're going to call YOUR MOTHER!!". <G>

    The original author, Dave Wendling, is no longer supporting his doors,
    but he released the key generator to make them freeware. It supports
    most BBS dropfiles (I think I use DOOR.SYS). By the way, I suckered that
    same Sysop who I got in chat, to use the Sysop Editor...he ended up
    putting it on his BBS. <G>

    Poor Bugs, or was it Ralph the sheepdog in that one?

    That was Bugs, and also Daffy, for the abominable snowman.

    Daryl

    ... "Calvin, we will NOT have an anatomically correct snowman!" -Calvin's Mom === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Sep 23 16:17:30 2021
    There is a door I have on the BBS called Sysop Editor. You go into it,
    and you're prompted to enter the Sysop Password. No matter what they
    type, it grants them access.

    They are presented with a "simulated user profile" with several
    prompts to change. They can change these as many times as they want.

    When they type Q)uit, the screen flashes "YOU'VE BEEN BUSTED!!". <G>

    Does it rexord, for your amusement, whazt they try to do, so you can fnd
    out who would try to destroy your board, given the chance?

    It tells them that "You thought you were going to get off easy...
    We're going to call YOUR MOTHER!!". <G>

    *LOL* Then you prompt their jhome phone & ask: Is this ???-???-???? your number? I bet it is. . dialing. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .

    Poor Bugs, or was it Ralph the sheepdog in that one?

    That was Bugs, and also Daffy, for the abominable snowman.

    I was asking about THAT particular Yeti toon you posted. . .

    Q: What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
    A: The abdominable snowman

    Q: How do Yetis tell the time?
    A: With a sasq-watch.

    Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
    Yeti does.

    The Abominable Snowman has been freaking out over little things lately.
    I think he has anxiyeti.


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Richard Miles on Thu Sep 23 16:25:21 2021
    Q: Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box) A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

    Heh. Had to use that dad joke in my family chat. That's a good one.

    Dad Jokes rawk! & not only because I'm a dad now; Always loved cheesy puns!

    Cheesy food puns are gouda, and couldn't be cheddar

    Wrote and sent this to a girl on OkCupid who said she liked cheesy puns. No response.

    So you like cheesy puns, eh? Well you've Comte the right place. I can Feta bunch of Gouda puns into one Muenster-sized sentence. None of the other tools in the Cheddar quite as sharp as I am, at least when it comes to cheese puns. Whoever will lend an o-Paneer will be in Whey over their heads. So look out Baylough, I'm dropping a Bandal of comedy gold that will make your Bra and Pantysgawn.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Fri Sep 24 11:46:00 2021
    George,

    When they type Q)uit, the screen flashes "YOU'VE BEEN BUSTED!!". <G>

    Does it rexord, for your amusement, whazt they try to do, so you can
    fnd out who would try to destroy your board, given the chance?

    It tells how many "changes" were attempted. But, it's completely within
    the door itself, and there's no danger of a hack to the system. I have
    2 other doors...Hackarama, and The Happy Hacker. Both are FOR AMUSEMENT
    ONLY.

    It tells them that "You thought you were going to get off easy...
    We're going to call YOUR MOTHER!!". <G>

    *LOL* Then you prompt their jhome phone & ask: Is this ???-???-????
    your number? I bet it is. . dialing. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .
    . . .

    <CLICK!> NO CARRIER.

    Q: What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
    A: The abdominable snowman

    Calvin wants him to be anatomically correct.

    Q: How do Yetis tell the time?
    A: With a sasq-watch.

    It has a big foot instead of a big hand.

    Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
    Yeti does.

    And, in the Volcano IGM in L.O.R.D. II.

    The Abominable Snowman has been freaking out over little things lately.
    I think he has anxiyeti.

    Put him back on his Prozac.

    Daryl

    ... Diet Water: The flavor of water, but half the calories.
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Sep 24 14:34:32 2021
    Does it record, for your amusement, whazt they try to do, so you
    can
    fnd out who would try to destroy your board, given the chance?

    It tells how many "changes" were attempted. But, it's completely
    within
    the door itself, and there's no danger of a hack to the system. I have
    2 other doors...Hackarama, and The Happy Hacker. Both are FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY.

    So you don't get to see a transcript of the changes they attempted, to see exactly what kind of user you have? (that'd be important foreknowledge to
    have, I'd think)

    Q: What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
    A: The abdominable snowman

    Calvin wants him to be anatomically correct.

    Who? Leonardo did the anatomical drawings. . .

    Q: How do Yetis tell the time?
    A: With a sasq-watch.

    It has a big foot instead of a big hand.

    I figured.

    Someone asked me the time. I said, "It's either six fifteen, or Mickey just woke up"

    Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
    Yeti does.

    And, in the Volcano IGM in L.O.R.D. II.

    I don't know rthat one. Not in the boards I play on. . . 'sokay, I prefer vaNILLA RUNS ANYHOW.. .



    The Abominable Snowman has been freaking out over little things
    lately.
    I think he has anxiyeti.

    Put him back on his Prozac.

    YOU give it to him, I ain't gonna even try!

    To the person who stole my antidepressants...
    I hope you’re happy.

    To whomever stole my Prozac & Viagra, I hope you're f*cking happy!

    Q: When should you inject the earth with antidepressants?
    A: When its suffering from poor mantle health.

    Mostly it's jhust those parasites drilling into it. . .

    Q: What do you call an antidepressant that's both cheesy and petrifying?
    A: Gorgonzoloft

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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