I'm so keen-o/On Beef-A-Reeno/What a delicious cuisine-o/
I'm so lonesome in the saddle since my horse died.
I'm so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for the money up front.
I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.
I'm sorry, Canadians have NO accent!
I'm sorry my karma ran over your dogma.
I'm sorry, that line is busy till Monday. Would you hold please?
I'm sorry, you are not cleared for that information.
I'm so tough I fry bacon in the nude!
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
I'm still on the Information Dirt Road!
I'm suing for the electric bill for downloading that crap.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage.
I'm the Ghost of Xmas Present. It's a pun, get it?
I'm the life of the party.... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm the pet, the cats just let me live in their house ;*)
I'm the trombone joke in this echo (it was a joke why they let me play).
I'm too sexy for this conference...
I'm too sexy for this echo!
I'm too sexy! You know what I mean!
I'm trying to find myself. Anyone seen me lately?
I'm trying to think...but nothin' happens!
"I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. It's just not coming."
I'm typing this slowly in case you can't read fast.
I multitask... I read DSZ docs in the bathroom!
I multitask... I read in the bathroom.
I'm user friendly, I don't byte - I nybble.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes!
I'm usually awake near the end of the day.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer.
I'm weird, but around here it's barely noticeable.
I'm working on my 2nd $million... Gave up on the 1st.
I'm working on my master's thesis on Amish road rage.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people with wrinkled waffles.
In 1915 pancake make-up was invented. Most people still prefer syrup.
In 3 words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
In a big country, dreams stay with you...
In accordance with my mission, I added habs to the chili.
Inadequate disk space. Need 350 meg minimum.
In a dog-eat-dog world, don't wear Milk Bone underwear.
In a fancy restaurant if you can't pronounce it, you can't afford it.
In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
In an argument, the best weapon to hold is the tongue.
Inane tagline found. Abort, Retry, Swipe a better one.
In an nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
In a restaurant, choose a table near a waiter.
In a sense, we have always lived in Ahnk-Morpork.
In a solemn ceremony, they giggle viciously.
In aviation news SpaceShipOne soars, lands and files for bankruptcy.
In baseball the greatest applause an umpire ever gets is silence.
In Canada, a dozen is now 10; ah, the metric system!
In Canada, even the female impersonators are women.
In case of atomic attack, prayer in schools will be OK.
In case of emergency, get the heck out of here!
In case of EMERGENCY push button-----> O
In case of fire, yell, "FIRE"!
Income tax is the fine you pay for being useful and productive.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Incontinence Hotline.....Can you hold?
Incredible as it seems, my life is based on a true story.
Indian Proverb: Somedays you eat the bear. Somedays the bear eats you. Indifference error, press any key. Or don't. See if I care.
"In difficulty you understand your friends." - Chinese Proverb
I need accurate, brief, and non-redundant information.
I need a drink...where's the SPACE BAR?
I need everything; do you have it??
I need lots of gravy, so boil up some more critters.
I need more wholesome, nutritious alcohol.
I need not suffer in silence while I can still piss and whine.
I need some duck tape. My duck has a quack in it...
I need to marry someone tonight so I can stay in the country....
In England, at the end of a meal, you're always a few pounds lighter.
I never choose between two evils. I look at five or six.
I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent
I never forget - but sometimes I don't remember.
I never knew a girl who was ruined by a good book.
"I never met a lasagna I didn't like!" - Garfield
I never received any of your e-mails, not until the fourth one.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
Infants have less fun in infancy than adults do in adultery!!!
Infertility is unlikely to be passed on.
In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
In fifty years, movies have progressed from silent to unspeakable!
In fifty years, movies progressed from silent to unspeakable!
Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Inform all troops that communications have broken down.
Inform all users that communications have broken down.
Information Superhighway? I got hit by a garbage truck.
In France it is next to impossible to get decent Mexican food.
In front of every silver lining there's a cloud.
InGoodShape := Copy(Beer,1,12);
"In hurry there is no blessing." -Swahili proverb
In India they worship monkeys. We only elect them.
Initialize - Carving your initials on a floppy disk.
In its natural state, tofu is good for minor driveway repairs.
Init string?!? No, looks like an old rope to me.....
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere!
In life or death situations, if at first you don't succeed yer DEAD!
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place.
In morals, always do as others do; in art, never. - Jules Renard
In my house, the term "leftovers" refers to survivors.
In North Carolina, barbecue IS a religion.
In order to clean up, you've got to make a mess.
I now return the list to its regular nattering away over trivia.
In Oz it is now considered patriotic to eat a Witchety Grub.
In relation to consumerism, the vegetarian is a heretic.
Insanity: Doing same thing over & over & expecting different results.
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Insect life: Protein supplement for bikers.
In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.

insert a 28 line signature file here<

Insert diskette in Drive C. Press [ENTER] to continue...
<insert something here about food>
In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.
"In some hands, all the knobs are suck knobs." - Jay Kadis
In space, no one can fry an egg.
In spite of censorship babies are still being born without clothes!
In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
Instant gratification takes too long.
Instant human: just add coffee.
Instant human: Just add coffee!
Instant human: Just add coffee.
Instead here we are in a silence more eloquent...
Instead of crying over spilt milk go milk another cow.
((((( In Stereo Where Available )))))
Insufficient memory: add 4 megs and retry.
Insult #6: I'd break you in half but I don't want two of you around.
In summer its too hot to do the job that it was too cold for in winter. Insurance covers everything except what happens.
Integrated Circuit (n): a device used to protect fuses.
Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
"Intense desire removes intelligence." -Swahili proverb
In ten years nobody will remember.
Interchangable devices don't.
Internal Error: The system has been taken over by sheep at line 19960. International House of Haggis franchise available cheap.
Internet Exploder - Too many pop-ups !!
Internet: wanting a glass of water & standing under Niagara Falls.
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
In the end, gravity wins. - Dolly Parton
In the future, all restaurants WILL NOT BE Taco Bell.
In the maw of the petrochemical/terrorist/Bush/military Matrix.
In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
In the midst of great anger, don't answer any letters. -Chinese Proverb
In the midst of great joy, don't promise anyone anything. -Chinese Proverb
In theory, everything works.
In the South the tea is iced and sweet as the women.
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open."
Invalid COMMAND.COM, System Disobeying.
Invertebrates make no bones about it.
In wilderness is the preservation of the world. - Thoreau
In Yk football widows are rare because the men all hunt instead.
In YK you set a cake out to cool & in 5 minutes it's frosted.
In your PCBored config, specify BUGS=OFF.
I object to sex on TV. I keep falling off.
I offended you? What does it feel like to be so weak that words hurt you?
I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself.
I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation.
I often say that the American people aren't ready for self-government.
I once financed a gentle retirement home for lazy race horses.
I only have one vice, and a good chili-dog is it!
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' & the other one isn't.
I only open my mouth to change feet.
I only started a BBS to save on the phone bill.
I only want one thing, THE BEST!!!
I ordered a chicken and an egg sandwich. The chicken came first.
IOWA - Idiots Out Wandering Around.
I owe a lot to the boss... ulcers... nausea... feelings of paranoia.
I paid my Internet payments so I am ENTITLED to this information.
I parked my hard disk... now I can't find it.
I passed my ethics examination. (I cheated, of course!)
I plead not guilty by reason of computer-induced insanity.
I plead "Premature Senility"
I poured beer in my rice crispies and heard Snap, Crackle & Burp.
I poured Spot Remover on my dog - now he's gone!
I prefer Mephistopheles. Only God calls me Satan.
I prefer my oysters fried. Then I know my oysters died.
I pressed F1 for help an hour ago and nobody came!
I put instant coffee in a microwave & almost went back in time.-s.w.
I put spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I quit eating chocolate. It's been a miserable five minutes! ;*)
I quit school because it was interfering with my education.
Iran just purchased 200 pounds of enriched uranium on eBay!
I ran out of sick days...I think I'll call in dead tomorrow.
I ran Stacker on my monitor and now it's 28 inches wide!
I read so much about risks of drinking, I gave up reading.
I read the DOCS ... is this English?
I read your post. It's plodding, pedantic. Much like yourself.
I received a Nobel Prize for my chili.
I received a Pulitzer Prize for my taglines.
I refuse to be intimidated by Reality
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
I reject your reality and substitute my own! - Adam Savage
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
I remember when Saturns were ROCKETS, not cars!
I remove "wet paint" signs and let nature take its course.
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
I run into friends a lot. Maybe I should stay on the road when I drive.
I SAID SO: Reason enough, according to Mom.
I sailed the ship all alone. I never think I'll make it home.
Is a Jamaican terminal a raster-farian?
Is a pig's butt pork?
Is a schizophrenic threatened suicide considered a hostage situation?
I saw an eagle fly once. Fortunately I had my eagle fly swatter handy.
I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.
I saw this in a cartoon once, but I think I can do it...
I say...have you been into the mushrooms again?
I say, put Schroedinger in the box and see how HE likes it.
Is caning legal in this country?
I see a beard and a cloak; the philosopher I do not yet see. - Herodes
I seem to be lost. Could you please lead me to temptation.
I see that your second lobotomy finally took hold.
I see you're using a Mac. Myself, I'm a Windows guy, 100% -Satan
I send my Christmas packages via Sled/Ex.
I sense alcoholism runs deep in your lineage.
I sense incest runs deep in your lineage.
Is FIDO a dog?
Is fire supposed to shoot out of it like that?
I shall eat pig! I shall eat pig exceedingly!
I shan't elaborate.
I shave with Occam's razor.
Is he allowed a plea of insanity for a parking ticket?
Is he in the witless protection program or what?
Is Heinz-sight 57/57?
I shot an arrow into the air....And it stuck!
I shot an error into the air. It still goes..everywhere.
I should ban you for that! Except We like it!!!
I should follow what this person says and try to gain his friendship.
I should have quit while I was not as far behind.
I should've bbs'ed all night.
I should warn you I'm experiencing violent impulses.
I sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.
I sincerely believe he is a great credit to his home planet.
I sing little songs * To help the SPAM stay cheerful * Until I fry it.
Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one?
Is it beer:30 yet?
Is it further to Boston, or by bus?
Is it hip to be vague?
Is it just me, Or does this thing really hate me?
Is it just me, or is 9600 not as fast as it used to be?
Is it okay for a gynecologist to look up old girlfriends?
Is it OK to laugh when small European cars maim cute fuzzy animals?
Is it really paranoia when everyone IS out to get you?
"Is it too loud out there?" - Jimi at Berkley
Is Madonna Italian? Does she take Zucchini and...? Never mind!
I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it?
I smell smoke. I think my brain's about to go.
I smell the rose in her hair. Louie Louie, me gotta go.
I smile a lot because I have no idea what's going on!
Is Multimate the Word Processor for Bigamists?
Isn't "Half Duplex" just an apartment?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Isn't it about time someone called someone a Nazi?
Isn't it strange how "wise" resembles being old and tired?
Isn't it telling how the bible refers to Christians as sheep?
Isn't that Cheney fondling his Halliburton portfolio and snickering?
"Isn't that the public urination case of a lifetime?" - Beth
Isn't there any other part of the matzoh they cook? - M. Monroe
I sometimes debate with fools, and they often think the same!OJW
I sprinkled baking powder over a couple of potatoes, it didn't work.
Is protein scarce outside of meat?
Is "refined sugar" really, really good sugar?
Is sex in a cornfield, Porn on the Cob???
I started a band named 999 Gigabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.
I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Is that a bad thing? Seriously.
Is that a penguin on your monitor?
Is that seat saved? ... No, but we're praying for it.
Is there an alcoholic beverage made from oat bran?
Is there anyone who smiles without a mask?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Is this a Kodak moment or a Maalox moment?
Is this how you thought it would all turn out?
Is this some conspiracy to make me look paranoid?
"Is this some kind of bust?" "Yes - quite impressive." - Naked Gun
Is this the end of civilization as we know it?
Is This Where a "Tagline" Goes?
Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn...
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.
I strive for perfection. What I get is reality!
I studied Chinese philosophy...an hour later I was wondering again.
I suffer from short term memory loss.
I suppose I could always smother it with dead 'orse!
I suspect botulism can't grow in the habanero sauce I made.
It ain't a trend until you've seen it twice.
I t'ain't no stinking Pepper.
It ain't over, but the fat lady is clearing her throat.
I take "Don't try this at home" as a personal challenge.
I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK !! .... (I blame others for my mistakes)
Italians are like spaghetti - straight until you get them hot!
It all depends on the number of pancakes on your doghouse.
It appears to make a driver mad if he misses you.
It balances! It balances! Run the bloody paychecks.
It *CAN'T* be chili if its got cheetos in it!
It could damage you internally.
It crosses the line between food and a hunk of a dead animal.
It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
It doesn't have to make sense! It just has to work.
It doesn't have to make sense. It's the rule. Live with it.
It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later.
It doesn't look or sound remotely appetizing, but each to their own.
It doesn't matter how much milk you spill, just don't lose the cow.
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
It does so f___ing look like her! - Picasso, 1926
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
I tell people to bring lots of bottled water and SPF 45 -Satan
It frightened me too much to buy it.
It gives me a headache just to think down to your level.
"It got worse - you're NOT paranoid, they ARE after you!"
It grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.
I thimk I've finally got this ficts, fics, fixd....
I think Arnold could benefit from grope therapy.
I think chocolate is erotic.
I think football is a sport the way ducks think hunting is a sport.
I think gin is erotic.
I think he's playing the lead violin part on a viola.
I think I'd be scared to have an appliance that was smarter than me.
I think I found your marbles.
I think I just heard something hit a fan.
I think I think, therefore I think I am.
I think it's time we start outsourcing multimillion-dollar executives.
I think oatmeal is erotic.
I think of book-burning as "English lit".
I think, sometimes, therefore I am, sometimes.
I think that I shall never hear, A poem lovelier than beer ... Mad
I think that I shall never hear, A poem lovelier than beer... Mad Magazine
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.
I think that was a *single* entendre.
I think, therefore I am... I think.
"I think we should call it...your grave!"
I think you understand that you've got it.
I thought about being Born Again, but my mother refused.
I thought I'd be a chef once until I met some crazy ones.
I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong...
I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.
It is acceptable to use the term barbecue as a adjective with chicken.
It is a difficult matter to argue with the belly since it has no ears.
It is a good answer that knows when to stop. -Italian Proverb
It is a great art to know how to sell wind. - Baltasar Gracian
It is a lofty experiment.
It is always darkest just before you turn on the lights.
It is always dark if you don't open your eyes.
It is an art form to hate New York City properly.
It is a nuisance that knowledge can only be acquired by hard work.
It is a poor family that hath neither a whore nor a thief in it.
It is better others discover your sterling qualities without your help.
It is better to ask some question than to know all of the answers.
It is better to cultivate faith than to entertain doubt.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is better to forget all of an old song than just half of it!
It is better to have a permanent income that to be fascinating.
It is by coffee alone I set my mind in motion. Itisdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters
It is easier to do many things than to do one for a long time.
It is enjoyment and not possession that makes for true happiness.
It is far safer to be feared than loved. Machiavelli
It is fatal to live too long.
It is funny to see others not using a speck tceller.
It is further to Chicago than by bus.
It is great to be here in the great state of Chicago. - Dan Quayle
It is hard to believe that even his friends like @FN@.
It is hard to have failed but worse never to have tried to succeed.
It is hard to love a tourist town.
It is impossible to enjoy idling unless there is plenty of work to do.
It is inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
It is in his own interest that the cat purrs. -Irish Proverb
It is more important how well you live than how long.
It is much easier to resist temptation if you're broke!
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
It isn't our position but our disposition that makes us happy.
It isn't what you know that counts. It's what you think of in time.
It is of course hilarious and sick and wrong and hilarious.
It is pleasant to do nothing.
It is the beautiful bird which gets caged. -Chinese Proverb
It is twice as hard to crush a half-truth as it is a whole lie.
It is unforgivable for a barbecue restaurant to serve bad tea.
It is "USER" friendly. But my name doesn't happen to be User.
It is very much a big deal.
It is what it is but a cold beer always helps.
It is when I struggled to be brief that I became obscure
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
It IS your business when your neighbour's house is on fire.
It just happens... people explode sometimes.
It'll kill ya, but it's the only way to go.
It looked good when it left here!
It makes no sense to worry about your level of stress.
It may be better to give than to receive depending on the gift.
It must be depressing to go through life with no purpose.
It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
I to#d yo#, "Never#touch #he flo#py di#k su#face!"
It only works when you're not looking.
I took my check to the bank today. It was too little to go by itself.
I took to it like a duck takes to a roasting pan.
I took up exercising so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I trace my lineage back to a proud hairy group of hunter-gatherers.
It really bothers me when people cut me o...
I tried growing mint, but the LifeSavers never sprouted. -DS
I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit!
I tried to contain myself, but I escaped!
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
I tried to play my shoehorn, but only got footnotes.
I tried to smoke some hash, but the corned beef wouldn't light!
I trust him as much as I'd trust a programmer with a soldering iron.
It's 10PM, Do you know where your software is??
It's 3:30 A.M. Do you know where your mail is?
It's 5:00 pm & Mr. Zombie's day is just beginning.
It's about as mysterious as a baked potato.
It's a can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.
It's a chain saw. I always carry one for emergencies.
It's a cold bowl of chili, when love don't work out.
It's a crowbar. I always carry one for emergencies.
It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax!
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta pawn it off on someone else!
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing MilkBone shorts.
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
It's a fine line between fishing and sitting still.
It's a fine line between fishing and standing still.
It's a great nuisance that knowledge can only be had by hard work.
It's a great place, and the drinks are cold!
It's a herb Jim, but not herb as you know it.
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!!
It said to hit any key!!!!
It's all a pigment of your hallucination.
It's all fun and games until the hard drive dies.
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's always easier to see the silver lining in someone else's cloud.
It's always the pioneers that get arrows shot at them.
It's amazing what you can do with a little apple juice.
It's amazing what you can do with a little garlic juice.
It's amazing what you can do with a little meat juice.
It's amazin' how conversant you are with ancient history.
It's a miracle that curiosity survives a formal education.
It's an evil force that rapes your mind.
It's a Redneck beauty salon that also fixes cars.
It's a sad, sad day when a proper chili gets beaned.
It's a sad, sad day when ice tea is sweetened.
It's a sad, sad day when proper cornbread is sweetened.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
It's as easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841!
It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
It's a syrupy sticky heavily carbonated American fizzy crappy drink.
It's a universal law.... the other line moves faster!
It's becoming hard to remain a legend in my own mind.
It's been a business doing pleasure with you...
It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch...
It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
It's better to drink tea without sugar than without hot water.
It's called Kraft Dinner....Not macaroni and cheese.
It's certainly not chili but, of course, it is.
It's certainly not corn bread, but, of course, it is.
It's certainly not gulyas but, of course, it is goulash.
It's certainly not my fault, I barely touched it.
It's circulating the Net like Paris Hilton.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
It's dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It's difficult to be graceful getting off your high horse.
It's easier to agree to do better tomorrow than to do your best today.
It's easier to have solutions if you don't know much about the problem.
It's easy to be pious when no one wants to have sex with you.
It seems silly now, but your country was founded as a tax protest.
It's embarrassing when the sommelier gives me the screw top.
It's Ensign Pillsbury, Jim. He's bread.
It's finally fixed. Now if I could remember what it does.
It's going to be easy, like peeling a turtle.
It's good to be children sometimes and never better than at Christmas.
It's good to know how to dress up a tart for a special occasion.
It's great to be great, but it's better to be human.
It's hard to appreciate nostalgia when you can't remember it...
It's hard to argue with a sick mind.
It's hard to be a Catholic if you think about it.
It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember.
Its hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
It's hard to distinguish between hard knocks and opportunity knocks.
It's hard to keep your chin up after you have more than one!
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere!
It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
It's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
It's hard to type while holding a cat.
It's hot. It's sweltering, in fact. And you KNOW you want some.
It's humour, but not humour as we know it.
It's impossible to get water out of a rimless tire.
It's just freaking soccer, people.
It's just fun to use the wrong tool for the job.
Its just the beasts under your bed, in your closet, in your head.
It's kinda fun to consummate the impossible.
It's like a martini without the egg.
It's like chile heat. Build up a tolerance until you actually enjoy it.
It's like some kind of Gourmet Pixie Dust that makes everything better.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
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