;*)
...;*)
/00\ Here's /00\ l00king /00\ at /00\ you. /00\ /00\ .-----N|##############||----[ You're sticking that where?
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
"42 pizzas, 6 without crusts." - Wakko into phone
A $1500 CPU will protect a $10 surge protector by frying first. A@#%24305bsrnqysw46uw6j6sn <- Tagline from my cat
A 2-year subscription?? At this age I don't even buy green bananas. AAAAAAAA..... American Association Against Any And All Acronym Abuse Aaaahhhhh-CHU! Not Virus, BBS Fever.
AACCHHOOO!!! Darn! I see the idiots are in bloom again!
AARRGGHH!! I've been subpoenaed to appear in Tagline Court!
A Bachelor likes his girl friend just the way she is... single!
A bachelor lives like a king and dies like a beggar.
A bad cause requires many words. -German Proverb
A bad day hunting is better than a good day at work!
A bad day: "Transfer completed (5720468 bytes, 1 CPS)"
A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand.
Abandon the search for truth: settle on a good fantasy.
Abandon the search for truth; Settle on a good fantasy....
Abandon the search for Truth: settle on a good fantasy.
Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Abducted by aliens and all I got was this lousy implant.
A beast I am, lest a beast I become.
A beer delayed is a beer denied.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
A Belgian is a hell living on Earth.
A bigot will not see reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A billion dollars isn't what it used to be. - Nelson Bunker Hunt
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead..
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
A bitch is a girl who will go to bed with anyone, except me.
A bit like trying to stuff sausage casings with living animals.
A bit visits the CPU and says "Hi".
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A bore is a man who, when asked how he is, tells you.
<A>bort <R>etry <D>o what I mean!!!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)o fix the coffee
A bottle of wine, a can of whipped cream & thou...
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
"About the possum" said the 'gator, "I ate 'er."
A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down.... and won. - John Prine
A box of chocolate, a mug of Ovaltine, and @FN@! ;*)
A boycott of one isn't really one so much as it is an idiotic gesture.
A brain is a terrible thing to waste, reheat the leftovers!
A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate. -- Robert A. Heinlein Absence of Evidence is not Evidence of Absence.
Absinthe makes the parts grow stronger.
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
"Absolutely EVERY time I open my eyes; It's Today!"
"Absolute time is irrelevant." - Einstein of Borg
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Abstinence is a good thing when practiced in moderation.
A budget is simply . . . going broke, methodically.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
A bureaucracy can outwait anything.
A calculator takes the guess work out of it. So does a bikini.
A calculator takes the guess work out of it. So does a thong.
A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.
A Canadian? It's like an American, without the gun, with health care.
A Canuck is somebody who can make love in a canoe.
A cat could be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A cat is a friend who will never betray you.
A cat is always on the wrong side of the door!
A cat's courage is only as strong as the dog's chain.
A cat, when defurred, resembles Chinese food.
Acceptable or not, sir, it is the truth.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, other days the statue.
Access denied - nah nah naah na nah nah!!!
Accidents happen every hunting season. Both hunter and gun are loaded. According to Descartes, Rush Limbaugh doesn't exist.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
A census taker goes from house to house increasing the population.
A chauvinist won't admit you're right even when you agree with him!
A cheese monkey starch attack treat.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
Achieve Academic Excellents.
A child of 5 could understand this. Fetch me a child of 5!
A choice between relaxed happy detached gluttony and stern food Nazism.
A church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
ACK and you shall receive.
A classic is a book that is praised but not read
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A Clean Kitchen is the Sign of A Take Out House.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A clever cook can make a good meal of a whetstone - Erasmus
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A cocktail is to a glass of wine as rape is to love - Paul Claudel
A cold shower is more comfortable if you use warm water.
A committee is a life form with six or more legs & no brain. - Lazarus Long
A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.
A company is in trouble when it falls into the hands of the accountants.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
A consultant knows 49 ways to make love but doesn't know any women.
A contented person is one who enjoys the scenery along a detour.
Acorns were good until bread was found. Francis Bacon
A country boy can survive.
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
A courageous foe is better than a cowardly friend.
A cowardly cur barks more fiercely than its bite.
"A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet." -- Dobbs
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A croquette is a romantic lady frog.
Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
Action is the antidote to despair.
Actions speak louder than words. And they tell fewer lies.
ACTIVISTS try to force you to do it their way.
Act my age? I've never BEEN my age before!
Actually, I am only 22 years old....... Celsius !
"Actually, if they leak, you've pumped them too many times."
Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.
Actually, REAL programmers use front panel toggle switches!
Actually, there IS a banana in my pocket...
A cup of tea is nicer than sex, but it scalds your willy!!
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
A curious and captious interpretation in the law is to be reproved.
A curved line is the loveliest distance between two points.
A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
A cynic smells the flowers and then looks for the casket
Adam said to Eve, "I'm getting tired of eating apples every day!!"
Adam shouldn't have had an Apple either.
Adam's rib became the original bone of contention.
A data record is essential; it indicates you have been doing something.
A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
A day without fusion is a day without sunshine.
A day without okra is like a day without a fuzzy slimy vegetable.
A day without potatoes is like, well, any other day.
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A day without turnips is . . . a day without turnips.
Adding Chili Powder is reserved for us "special people".
Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.
Adding manpower to a late project, only makes it later.
ADD is orange juice in your cereal and milk in your glass.
A desk is a wastebasket with drawers.
A diamond is forever, but real estate appreciates faster!
A diamond is just coal that has been under a lot of pressure!
A diamond is only a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
A diamond was a piece of coal that kept trying.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
Admit nothing! Deny everything! Blame Moderator!
A dog has so many friends because he wags his tail instead of tongue.
A dog is the only friend you can buy for money.
"A Dollar saved is a dime earned. The rest is Revenue Canada's."
"A do-nothing lackluster wherever he sat." -- A. Haig on George Bush
Adopt enthusiasm. You can't be enthusiastic & unhappy at the same time.
A double positive doesn't make a negative. Yeah, right.
A drag queen wants to be Miss dressed!
A drawing pin is an excited Smartie.
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off.
"A drop of honey gathers more flies, then a watched pot." -Van, Billy
A drug dealer can't wash his crack and sell it again but a hooker can.
A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering everywhere.
Ads: an invasive pathetic cultural cancer.
A duck is a bird that walks like it has ridden horseback all day.
A duck is a terrible thing to waste!
A duck? Now that's senseless!
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Adultery is a most conventional way to rise above the conventional.
A Durian a day keeps everyone away.
Adventure before dementia!
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Advert: horse manure 50p per prepacked bag; 20p do it yourself
Advertisement: Georgia Peaches - 89 cents lb. California grown.
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
Advertising is legalized lying. - H.G. Wells
Advertizers: Cute Shameless Whores Of The Apocalypse
Advice is always an uncertain gift.
Advice is like mushrooms. The wrong kind can prove fatal.
Advice is what we ask when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Advice to persons about to marry - DON'T!
Advice void, if I'm incorrect!
Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up.
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
A false friend and a shadow stay around only while the sun shines.
A family moved to the city because they heard the country was at war.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind, won't change the subject!
A farmer is always going to make it rich the next year.
A farmer raises livestock. A Kansas farmer gets emotionally involved.
A farmer raises livestock. A Redneck farmer gets emotionally involved.
A fat woman is a quilt for the winter. -Punjabi Proverb
A fault recognized is half way to being corrected.
A favorite euphemism: In love = emotionally involved. - Carlin
A feature is a bug with seniority.
A few pies short of a holiday.
A few too many lights out in his Christmas tree.
A fight to the death between zombies has a few inherent problems.
A file cabinet is a place where papers get lost alphabetically.
A filing cabinet is where things get lost alphabetically.
A fine little girl, she wait for me. Me catch the ship across the sea.
A fish is only caviar's way of making more caviar.
A Flak Jacket is highly recommended there.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A fly in your soup is better than no meat at all.
A fly's in your soup? So how much can one little fly drink?
A fool and his guilt are soon parted.
A fool and his/her taglines are soon using offline readers
A fool and his money are my best friends!
A fool and his money are soon popular.
A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.
A fool and his money is my kind of customer!
A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.
A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial.
A freakish all-powerful mind-control cult bent on world domination.
A free agent is anything but.
A free meal will sometimes get me to change my religion.
A Freudian slip - when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A Freudian slit, err.... a Freudian slurp. I mean Freudian slip!
A friend in need is.... a PEST.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A Friend in need is indeed a pain in the neck.
"A friend is a lot of things, but a critic he ain't." - Bern Williams
A friend is a present that you can give yourself!
A friend is one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.
A friend is someone who lets you help.
A friend is someone with whom we share common enemies.
A friend is something you earn.
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done. - Anonymous After all is said and done, more is said than done.
"After all, the C students really do run the world." - Harry Truman
After analyzing all plans, I find the optimum strategy is to run away.
After a trial run, it was decided to scrap the hamster chili.
After four significant figures, only an accountant gives a damn.
After god created woman, beer was the bug fix...
AFTER HOLIDAY SALE; '@DY@ TAGLINES AT HALF PRICE!
Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.
After Sex: Fun? That was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.
After the season's eggnog and grog, no man's agog at his own physiog.
After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
After we pull the pin, Mr Grenade is no longer our friend.
A fully gorged belly never produced a sprightly mind. - Jeremy Taylor
Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.
"Against the run of the mill" -RUSH
A gardener is just a handyman with a good sense of humus.
A garden is the purest of human pleasures. (F. Bacon)
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Age doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Age doesn't show here, but immaturity sure does.
Age: if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
Ageing is a lot better than the alternative...
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Age is important only in dead fish and good wine.
Age isn't important unless you're a cheese.
Age needn't necessarily be a bar to immaturity.
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
Agent Provocateur Extraordinaire
A geological specimen in motion accumulates no deposits of lichen.
A Giant Vat Of Cheez Whiz - Only 39 cents... Wow!
A girl a day keeps the wife away.
A glimpse into a microcosm of errant bizarre life happening all over.
A good bookshop is just a genteel black hole that knows how to read.
A good brainwashing could fix that problem of yours.
A good breakfast is no substitute for a large dinner. - Chinese Proverb
A good breakfast is worth waiting all night for.
A good captain is hoisting his first drink in a bar when the storm hits.
A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years.
A good Christian does not think, a Good Christian obeys. - B. Graham
A GOOD friend KEEPS the surplus zucchini!
A good friend on a journey makes the way seem shorter.
A good fright is better remembered than good advice.
A good husband should be deaf and a good wife blind.
"A good indignation brings out all one's powers." - Emerson
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures. -Irish proverb
A good loser is alright. But, it's much more fun to beat a sore loser.
A good man has few enemies - A ruthless one, NONE.
A good place to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
A good pun is its own reword.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good rule for life is to keep the heart a little softer than the head.
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - E.E. Howe
A good sense humor cures almost all of life's ills.
A good way to be popular: listen carefully to stuff you already know.
A good workman is known by his tools. -Proverb
A goose and rooster may produce a gooster if they don't chicken out.
A gourmet thinking about calories is a tart looking at her watch.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A great nation is one with at least one honest man a century.
A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
A guinea pig is not a rodent, it is a member of the pork family.
A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
A guy asked me what living in Miami was like, so I shot him.
A guy never felt compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
A guy never has to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
A guy's ass is never a factor in a job interview.
A guy's orgasms are real. Always.
A guy who's addicted to brake fluid can stop any time.
A half-truth is usually less than half of that.
A halo has only to fall a few centimeters to become a noose.
A handfull of patience is worth a bushel of brains.
A hangover - the wrath of grapes.
Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
A hard man is good to find.
A harp is a nude piano.
A Hawaiian Christmas - Poi To The World!
AHA! You're one of those short Canadians who couldn't play hockey!
"Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
A heavy night snowstorm is God saying: Take today off.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
Ah gare-on-dam-tee you'll like grits if you flavor dem up some.
Ahh, fuck the bozos!
-Ahhhh... No Moderator! Lets chat about SEX @#$%& .. NO CARRIER
Ahh, mother's milk!
Ahh, one of our adventure holidays.
Ahh, Steel Drums, Rum Drinks, and Native Girls.
A hidden flaw never remains hidden.
A high fat diet with lots of starch & a big bag of sugar helps!
A highly developed talent for misusing a phenomenal wealth of produce.
A highway is a main road surfaced with concrete and cars.
A hobby is hard work you wouldn't do for a living.
A homemade pizza is a thing of beauty.
A home without children is like a circus without clowns.
A HOOT 'n a HOLLER from BULLIES ACRE!
A hormone-injected radiated chem-blasted feces-doused meat-like burger.
A hot date involving me, you and a dozen habanaros...
A HOT kiss is when you kiss your SO after eating a habanero.
A hot milk toddy? You're kidding.
"A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it." -- Carlin
A house without books is like a room without windows.
Ah, the traditional Yuletide cabbage!
A hug is a handshake from the heart.
A hundred thousand pounds for a bit of rumpy-bumpy?!
A hunger that never dies... An ancient terror...
A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better.
A husband who gets breakfast in bed is usually in the hospital.
Air Canada Motto: we're not happy, til your not happy.
Air is water with holes in it.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A jug of wine, a loaf of bread....dude, where's the salsa?
A kind deed often does more than a large gift.
A kind word and a sword will get you further than a kind word alone.
A king's castle is his home.
A kitten is to the animal world what a rosebud is to the garden.
A Kosher president would eliminate government pork barrelling.
A language is a dialect with an army.
Alar might kill you - if you eat 50K pounds of apples a day.
Alaska has no (bloodsucking) bugs (smaller than Eagles).
Alaska is a Third World country; it's just one that we happen to own.
Alaskans For Global Warming.
A lawyer got his client a suspended sentence. He was hung.
Alberta: The one place in the world where it's not hip to be French!
Alberta: The only province that could afford to be it's own country. Alcoholism: when good liquor falls into the hands of amateurs.
Alcohol makes you shoot at tax collectors...and miss.
Alcohol may pick you up a little bit, but it lets you down in a hurry.
Al Dente! Yeah, I went to school with him...
A lesbian is just another case of a woman attempting to do a man's job. Alexander the Grape... He Concord the world.
Alex, I'll take "Foolish Babble" for $200.
Alex, I'll take "Stuipd is as Stupid does" for $1000.
Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A liberal's generosity is limited only by your income.
A lie in time saves nine.
A lie is an abomination unto the lord & a very present help in trouble.
Alien: A Being Who Travels Great Distances To Molest Cattle.
Alien plot? What have you heard of an alien plot?
Aliens are more gullible than Earthlings. -N'tl Inquirer
Aliens ate my Buick!
Alien sex, carnivore love, whatever. All a matter of taste, eh?
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car!
Aliens Have Examined My Internal Organs.
Aliens have invaded Earth! How else do you explain what's going today?
Aliens Invaded Los Angeles (And No One Noticed)
Aliens make terrible house pets.
Aliens might actually ask us to take them to baseball players!
Aliens need groceries too, and that's when we can catch them.
Aliens think news shows are comedies and soaps are news.
Aliens: We hAvE yOuR mArS pRoBe. We WaNt 1 bIlIiOn CrEdItS iN 24 Hrs.
Alien taunt: "Your mother breathes Oxygen!"
A life of ease is a difficult pursuit.
Alimony: Bounty on the Mutiny.
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
Alimony is the screwing you get for the screwing you got.
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
A little greed can get you a lot of stuff.
A little greed can get you lots of neat stuff.
A little knowledge can be dangerous, the lack thereof, devastating.
A little knowledge is dangerous and boy am I dangerous !!
All agents defect; all resistors sell out.
All bad things must come to an end, too.
All children are essentially criminal.
All chilies are edible.... these things ain't mushrooms.
All clams start out as males; some decide to become females later.
"All constants are variables." - Murphy's Law of Mathematics
All documents with puns will be drawn and quoted.
All extremists should be shot.
All flesh is grass - Isiah - Smoke a friend today.
All generalizations are false.
All general statements are false.
All good things must come to an e
All hail slow food.
All hail the Mighty Soybean!
All he knows about life he learned from Star Trek.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
All I ask of life is a constant exaggerated sense of my own importance.
All I care about is boobs, poops and naps. Add fishing and I'll be like Dad. All I'm saying is if we're both going to Hell, maybe we should carpool?
All in all, I'd rather be in Tumwater.
All I need is a Wave and a board to surf it on.
All I want for Christmas is... a 233Mhz with a 4.3Gb HD , 32MB, 4 Mb Video, 24X
CD-ROM...
All I want for Christmas is a redhead wrapped in cellophane!
All I want for Christmas is @FN@ wrapped in cellophane.
All I want for Christmas is @TOFIRST@ and a chain saw!
All I want for Christmas is @Vikki@ wrapped in only a red bow.
All I want to know is: WHY ME?
All manner of beasts and birds, shoreless seas and stars uncounted.
All marriage is same sex marriage: the same sex over and over again.
All men are different, but husbands are all alike.
All men are like Arabs.
"All my rowdy friends are coming over tonight."
All of my voices listen to different radio stations.
All of us work for the government. The trick is to get paid for it.
All our snappy taglines are currently busy ... Please try again later.
All power corrupts, but we NEED electricity.
All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
ALL-PURPOSE EXCUSE: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance.
All right, drop your carrier... we have you surrounded!
All right, I am a licensed cleavage inspector.
All right! Let them eat PIE! - Marie Antoinette, last words
All right, who's been cooking hot dogs in the Warp Drive?
All right, who's been turning my messages into taglines?
All stressed out, and no one to choke...
All stressed out and no one to kick.
All sunshine makes a desert.
All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the argentinians swarmed around him - most of all Maradona.
All the brains God gave a duck's ass.
All the crackpot crap on Usenet never did a good thing for anyone.
All the fruit in the world won't satisfy the need for chocolate.
All the planning in the world never beat luck.
All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.
All the stats in the world don't mean as much as a human feeling.
All the world is a stage. But, most of us are stage hands.
All the world's a Schroedinger box and we are merely cats.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
All things squat and ugly.
All this cause a girl didn't kiss him.
"All this good food will make us sick." - Trapper
All those doughnuts and not a cop in sight.
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts and taglines.
All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking. - Nietzsche
All us turkeys get a little depressed around Thanksgiving.
All warfare is based on deception. - Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys.
"All we are saying............ is give pizza chants."
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All you can really do is pop a Valium.
All you folks do not exist. My cat types all this stuff.
All you zombies, hide your faces.
almost bit on that one..good thing I spit out the hook in time! ;*)
Almost had a psychic girlfriend - she left me before we met.
Almost nobody dances sober, unless he happens to be insane.
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and @FN@ ;*)
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and my Blue Wave reader.
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and my offline mail reader.
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and my offline message reader.
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and <occupant>.
A lobster is a crawfish on steroids.
A lot of good-looking faces are wasted on ugly people.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
"A lot of people my age are dead at the present time." Casey Stengel
A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice even if it's a whisper.
A lover teaches a wife all that her husband has concealed from her.
"Alright Mr. Pennzoil head, you talked us into it!" - Yakko
Alright, set phasers to deep fat fry!
Also, avoid awkward affected alliteration.
Although a Canadian, Mario Martinez is, in fact, an Italian.
Although an American Dave is, in fact, an Italian.
Although he isn't as good as he was two years ago, now he's even better! Although the exit polls say otherwise.
alt.non.sequitur is a bit further down the list.
Always assume the second try will be different.
Always backup before you muckup...
Always be an angel-on-call for a friend.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
Always butter up the SYSOP, they taste better that way.
Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
Always draw your curves then plot the readings.
Always drive slower than your guardian angel can fly.
Always eat your sandwiches from the edge in.
Always hire a rich attorney. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Always hold your head up but keep your nose at a friendly level.
Always hunt with impeccable spirit. The animals will respond accordingly.
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