Quoting Damon A. Getsman to Nancy Backus on 12-Jun-2015 22:13 <=-

Re: Re: camping was: bbsing

I'm seeing a few different topics in this message, so, in the interests
of breaking it into more manageable size messages, I'm going to try to
pull like into like... ;)

Shinies etc can be quite distracting at any age... ;) And birthdays
(and other special occasions) can be a good time to scratch the itch, as
long as one doesn't go overboard... :) Happy Birthday to the kid.. :)

Oh for sure. I'm finding that I'm getting better at dealing with
these things as I get older, but I also note (and I'm in a perfect situation for noting this right now, as I wait for someone much more prone to distractions to come and sit down so that we can do some
paired coding together) that it certainly does still seem to be a big issue for a lot of other people of all ages.

True, some people are more easily distracted than others... and some
manage to learn how to minimize it eventually... and then there do seem
to be some that don't seem to be distracted at all (but I bet they're
faking it... <G>)

I've passed your well wishes on to my son. He appreciates it,
belated though as it may be. It's good for him to get a little
reminder of some of the good things that have been going on recently right now...

So what did you get him special for his birthday...?

Just last night he ended up coming down with either some
nasty food poisoning or else some really wicked short illness. He
ended up throwing up at least three times last night (projectile, and with a whole lot of stomach contents to get rid of-- poor guy), and has been suffering a pretty wicked sore throat and [I believe, though currently unverified by thermometer] a bit of a fever today.

Sounds to me like some sort of bug, rather than food poisoning...
especially since I note in later messages that stuff's been going around again... ;) But the sore throat and the fever tend to clinch the bug
theory... :)

Poor kid just hasn't been getting much of a break lately. At least it happened once school got out for him (yesterday was his last day). I mean, I'm pretty sure that he'd see things in the opposite light, but after all of the time that he missed with crap as of the last school
year I'm glad that there wasn't any more added to that...

I understand... :) And I also understand the kid point of view of not
wanting to waste SUMMER being sick... ;)

those situations. I suppose being on the road for so long when he
was still 2-2.5 years old really helped prep him for it a bit,

Some things you do because you have to... some because you enjoy them...
and it's nice when it's some of both... ;) I'm sure though that the
no other alternative sorts of things can get old real fast, as the sense
of adventure wears off... ;)

Definitely. We've had some interesting times, and no doubt it has changed the recreational aspect of some of the activities that we've had... I don't know, I'm kind of going through a phase right now
where, despite our limitations and the lack of kids in the area, I'm trying to figure out what kind of a routine we're going to have for things this summer.

Keeping everything in balance may be a bit of a trick... ;)

I'll write more about it later, I'm actually trying to get this out before I do some work in a little bit here, but I could probably use
some input on some of the different things that I'm considering. The limitations of the situation that I'm in is going to make it
interesting, to say the least, and I'm definitely at the phase where I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel a bit. But yeah, more on that later.

I'll be watching for it. ;)

A good lesson in why consistency is so important... One doesn't have to
be a martinet and deny the kid everything, but it still is important to
have the boundaries and keep to them pretty much, so the kid is secure
in knowing where they are... Saves a lot of trouble in the long run...
The kids that have learned that a tantrum will get them what they (think
they) want generally aren't actually happy with the results, either...
not that you could get them to admit it, though...

Oh I know how important it is. That being said, I definitely need
to work on it in my parenting methods. Especially when I've been
getting tips from other people who lack in consistency a lot that are telling me that I need to be more consistent with things. Heh.

Somehow it's always easier to see in someone else's situation... ;)
They probably have a reasonably good idea what they ought to be doing,
whether or not they manage to follow through on it with their own
kids... :)

It's been really tough in the setting that we're in right now, but the summer drive is on now. Hopefully things can be set up by the end of
the summer well enough so that we'll be in a setting where we have a
new primary location with enough space for all of us; I think more
than anything else it's the fatigue at the whole situational aspect that's kept me from being a little better than I would like with the consistency of it all.

And the niggling thoughts that one should maybe be trying to make it up
to the kid for things not being as one would have hoped... but that sort
of thing can get you in trouble, too... :) Hopefully a better setting
will indeed help things... :)

But yeah, I can always tell when my consistency hasn't been what it should. That's when the 'big stick' has to come out. Then it's used,
and then things are better for a time. He's really good at responding very quickly to it, and doesn't push things too far, at least at the
age that he's at right now, when such is the case. When I'm doing
better with it he's really great about doing the things that he's supposed to right away and not pushing the limits.

Even when they protest loudly against the limits, kids actually are
happier knowing what the limits are and having them be securely
enforced... it gives a more secure feeling... If one can enforse them
simply by words and actions, and not have to resort to consequences, so
much the better for all... :)

I can certainly relate on the bronchitis issue... I get that
periodically... Nice that your body could just fight it off on its
own this time..... ;)

Yeah my health has been doing a lot better than it has for a very
long time, actually... at least since I've gotten over the various plagues that had a pigpile on me after first getting here. I can tell that I've been taking care of myself really well, fitness-wise, also, because I don't think that I've ever had a resting heart rate that is often below 64, and mine pretty much sits and hovers right around 60
now. It's nice to see the fruits of my hard work, even if they're in statistics that really don't mean much beyond the medical journals. ;)

Indeed. :) Being in pretty good shape can also help you fight off the
bugs that come piling in... :)

ttyl neb

... I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it and besides, it was an accident.

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Re: shinies and sickies was: camping
By: Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman on Mon Jun 15 2015 15:50:54

I'm seeing a few different topics in this message, so, in the interests
of breaking it into more manageable size messages, I'm going to try to pull like into like... ;)

Roger that.

True, some people are more easily distracted than others... and some manage to learn how to minimize it eventually... and then there do seem
to be some that don't seem to be distracted at all (but I bet they're faking it... <G>)

Hahaha. Yeah I've noticed how in some people it's become a primary bogus coping mechanism for things that they don't want to have to deal with. Just give in to the shinies... procrastinate... watch your life pile up around you
until what would've been unpleasant but manageable become horrifying and unmanageable. Used to be my M.O., it's not like I'm just seeing it from external sources. Having a kid changed that for me, and I'm glad it did.

So what did you get him special for his birthday...?

Well at this point we got pizza ordered in a couple of days, he got a new video game, and wanted a few more, but I wasn't willing to spend the rest of it
on that. We had to wait, as he got sick, to start Aikido, which was supposed to happen yesterday, but there was a mis-scheduling at the dojo or something so
now we're going to have to wait a few more days I guess.
It's actually going to be a bit more challenging than I thought it would to make that all go through; sickness time kind of blew up our finances again. I'm really not sure that I have enough to get both him and I in it now. Things
were at the margin where it would've been okay up until the #%*& sink got clogged here. It's been standing for awhile and it's not going down without a plumber, we've tried everything including snaking it to a rather significant depth. It's in the kitchen so it interferes with cooking and cleaning pretty badly, too. So now I'm having to hold onto that money a little bit longer because it'll probably have to be emergency plumbing money.
Either way I did find a backup that I'm going to cash in and try to make enough to get us both into Aikido together with. Loki's just been throwing so much crap at us lately that I'm afraid to spend it lest the next disaster turn into a fiscal issue again. Keeping my fingers crossed for aikido this week, though. It'd be much needed socialization time for him, time to burn off some energy (other than what I do with him), and just good time to get out of the house.
I wanted to do more, but with all of the troubles it just wasn't possible. When I've got the next paycheck in I should be able to make up for things a little bit, hopefully.

Sounds to me like some sort of bug, rather than food poisoning... especially since I note in later messages that stuff's been going around again... ;) But the sore throat and the fever tend to clinch the bug theory... :)

Turned out to be an influenza strain that hit everybody here. Soon as that was gone it caused my son's latent strep (he's a carrier) to come out, then that hit my roommate as well. I'm surprised I got lucky with that; strep usually kicks my butt. But yeah, it wasn't just some sort of weird food illness or something; in varying degrees of severity the one-two combo beat us all down for awhile. Despite the fact that I wasn't sick with strep like everyone else, it really became bad enough for them that I wasn't able to survive outside of the bubble of their illness needs, so I'll just consider us all beaten down by the whole thing. :)

I understand... :) And I also understand the kid point of view of not wanting to waste SUMMER being sick... ;)

Oh for sure. He still gets cranky at me on that basis just when I tell him it's time for bed. ;)

considering. The limitations of the situation that I'm in is going
to make it interesting, to say the least, and I'm definitely at the
phase where I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel a bit. But yeah,

I'll be watching for it. ;)

Oh they are legion. I'm still looking for other solutions, as the primary ideas that I had in play (provided I've remembered the thread correctly) were the only two that were within a range that he would've been able to get to himself. One was the playground at his school, probably the best place to look
for and meet other free range kids (in the pitiful minority due to helicopter parenting ruling this neighborhood). The other was at the neighborhood pool, which unfortunately exists in the same building. Turns out that they're having
summer rennovation so the entire place, including a vast swath of the playground, is shut down as a construction zone. There are other parks around here but they're too populated by adults and crackheads to let my kid free range at. So I'm trying to keep my eyes open.
Also I picked him up a library card (and myself) yesterday. I was hoping that the neighborhood branch would be big enough so that I could go and release
him in a kids section, like my dad used to do to me when I was old enough to understand and stick to the rules, but alas, it is not. I'm not going to be taking trips into the inner city with my vehicle as dire as it is, but maybe we
can afford a bus ride to go hang out at the big one in the inner city once a week or so once a couple of more paychecks come in to clean up after Loki.

Somehow it's always easier to see in someone else's situation... ;)
They probably have a reasonably good idea what they ought to be doing, whether or not they manage to follow through on it with their own
kids... :)

Oh absolutely. ;)

And the niggling thoughts that one should maybe be trying to make it up
to the kid for things not being as one would have hoped... but that sort of thing can get you in trouble, too... :) Hopefully a better setting will indeed help things... :)

Oh that's one that hits me hard. Especially right now when all of the ideas that I had for summer release for him are blown out of the water. Not sure what's going to come of all of it at this point; I don't want to fall back on an endless parade of new videogames and a tightly caged little man that'll end up losing massive valuable socialization.

Even when they protest loudly against the limits, kids actually are happier knowing what the limits are and having them be securely enforced... it gives a more secure feeling... If one can enforse them simply by words and actions, and not have to resort to consequences, so much the better for all... :)

This is not the first time that I've heard this. I certainly do not disagree. Unfortunately, things being what they are with the two of us staying
in the living room of a 1 bedroom apartment, I don't have control over his environment even very well. I'm still looking for ways to add more reliable limitations and boundaries on a daily basis here. A lot of it is going to be orders of magnitude easier once we relocate, but that's not going to be for [at
least] several months... So an interim solution does need to be located soon here.

Indeed. :) Being in pretty good shape can also help you fight off the bugs that come piling in... :)

I'm counting that when I consider the fact that I didn't come down with this strep. ;) Now I'm just trying to get my little guy back into the shape he was
in before we got here, as well. He used to be able to BEAT ME on a 2-mile, despite his short legs. Now he can barely keep up on a bike. So every time I go out, he's coming out. With a little bit of modification to my routine to make it better for him, of course. Definitely some playground time at some of the places where I do the majority of my miles. :)

-D/K
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Quoting Damon A. Getsman to Nancy Backus on 21-Jun-2015 08:55 <=-

True, some people are more easily distracted than others... and some
manage to learn how to minimize it eventually... and then there do seem
to be some that don't seem to be distracted at all (but I bet they're
faking it... <G>)

Hahaha. Yeah I've noticed how in some people it's become a primary
bogus coping mechanism for things that they don't want to have to deal with. Just give in to the shinies... procrastinate... watch your
life pile up around you until what would've been unpleasant but manageable become horrifying and unmanageable. Used to be my M.O.,
it's not like I'm just seeing it from external sources. Having a kid changed that for me, and I'm glad it did.

Shinies weren't so important to me, but books used to get me
off-track... some days more easily than others... now, it's more that my
mind might start to wander, and things just don't quite get done... And
then there's all the interruptions in my own plans for things that need
doing for other people.. :)

Keeping my fingers crossed for aikido this week, though. It'd be much needed socialization time for him, time to burn off some energy (other than what I do with him), and just good time to get out of the house.

And if you can do it together, so much the better for both of you, on
various levels... :)

I wanted to do more, but with all of the troubles it just wasn't possible. When I've got the next paycheck in I should be able to make
up for things a little bit, hopefully.

Sometimes we just can't get everything we'd like to... and it's not a
bad lesson to learn when young... :)

Sounds to me like some sort of bug, rather than food poisoning...
especially since I note in later messages that stuff's been going
around again... ;) But the sore throat and the fever tend to clinch
the bug theory... :)

Turned out to be an influenza strain that hit everybody here. Soon
as that was gone it caused my son's latent strep (he's a carrier) to
come out, then that hit my roommate as well. I'm surprised I got lucky with that; strep usually kicks my butt. But yeah, it wasn't just some sort of weird food illness or something; in varying degrees of severity the one-two combo beat us all down for awhile. Despite the fact that I wasn't sick with strep like everyone else, it really became bad enough for them that I wasn't able to survive outside of the bubble of their illness needs, so I'll just consider us all beaten down by the whole thing. :)

Understand that... totally.. :) Hopefully everyone is fully recovered
by now...?

I understand... :) And I also understand the kid point of view of not
wanting to waste SUMMER being sick... ;)

Oh for sure. He still gets cranky at me on that basis just when I
tell him it's time for bed. ;)

Oh, well... ;)

Indeed. :) Being in pretty good shape can also help you fight off
the bugs that come piling in... :)

I'm counting that when I consider the fact that I didn't come down
with this strep. ;) Now I'm just trying to get my little guy back
into the shape he was in before we got here, as well. He used to be
able to BEAT ME on a 2-mile, despite his short legs. Now he can barely keep up on a bike. So every time I go out, he's coming out. With a little bit of modification to my routine to make it better for him, of course. Definitely some playground time at some of the places where I
do the majority of my miles. :)

That sounds like a good plan.. :) Be good for both of you... :)

ttyl neb

... All things are difficult before they are easy

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Re: Re: shinies and sickies was: camping
By: Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman on Sat Jun 27 2015 19:09:18

Shinies weren't so important to me, but books used to get me
off-track... some days more easily than others... now, it's more that my mind might start to wander, and things just don't quite get done... And then there's all the interruptions in my own plans for things that need doing for other people.. :)

I stopped having books be quite such a shiny for me right when I started college. Up until then I'd lose myself in volumes for days, sometimes weeks, depending on the size and the content of what it was that I'd sunk my nose into.
Other shinies used to be pretty big for me, but they've faded primarily during the poverty years. It's funny how much you can just cease to contemplate as options become bereft for such a long time.
I'm trying to re-cultivate my reading habit, but it's taking time. Part of it is, I believe, that my bio-mom wants me to read her manuscript and tell her what I think of it. I've only known her for a few years and I'm flat out horrified that it's going to suck and I don't want to lie to her about it. Guess I should just sack up and do what I need to anyway.

Keeping my fingers crossed for aikido this week, though. It'd be

And if you can do it together, so much the better for both of you, on various levels... :)

Absolutely. Unfortunately, finances were gobbled due to a bank error (one that was not my own), and I have no aikido fund, nor even the prospect of a next paper check in the near future, as the same individual who made the banking mishap with my paycheck also got behind on invoicing the contractor. I'll hold my tongue about that little debaucle for a little while, though. Needless to say I'm not pleased about it, but there's also nothing I can do, and it is a temporary situation. Afterwards I will be loaded with the cash that I was prevented from spending frivolously, so it could be a good thing in disguise, I suppose, in a very Loki-inspired kind of way.

possible. When I've got the next paycheck in I should be able to
make up for things a little bit, hopefully.

Sometimes we just can't get everything we'd like to... and it's not a
bad lesson to learn when young... :)

You have hit that nail right on the head, I believe. Hell, the fiscal diet that we've been on, despite the fact that I'm pulling in more money than I ever
have, except for some stretches in the military, perhaps, has given me a nice little reminder of this fact, as well as the buddhist tenet that nothing is permanent, and to hold onto something is to open yourself up for suffering.

Understand that... totally.. :) Hopefully everyone is fully recovered
by now...?

We're all doing good.... Physically. There's been a little bit of mental malaise going on in the house, but it [thankfully] hasn't struck me, and I think its victim is slowly getting back on the horse, so it's all good. Losing
a whopping load of somebody else's money that you had slated to pay back will do that to a person, I suppose. Especially if other life areas are imploding due to poor planning and execution at the same time.

More later! I'm on a small roll here already today!

-D
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