• SAT Exam Responses

    From Daryl Stout@316:36/20 to All on Sun Nov 19 00:04:23 2017
    Much of these "SAT answers" have also been noted in "Anguished English"
    by Richard Lederer.

    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can
    be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
    removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and
    canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
    perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
    All water tends to flow towards the moon, because
    there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I
    forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
    (E.g. abdomen.)
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the
    brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium
    contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs,
    and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I,
    O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
    A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport.

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is its
    characteristic feature?
    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so
    they look like umbrellas.

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q: What is a turbine?
    A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

    Q: What is a Hindu?
    A: It lays eggs.


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